The Calm before the Storm?

Posted: December 3, 2010 in Life In General

Well, the dust has settled somewhat. Things are calm on the homefront. For Now.

James called today and wanted to apologize. Like all of his apologies, it was conditional in that I admit that I am wrong about some things. I stood my ground. I stood my ground because I do not believe that I am wrong and gone are the days of me just saying I am wrong for the sake of ending an argument. I won’t be doing it anymore.That’s one of the main reasons me and D are no longer friends, so I am certainly not going to let my kids do it to me as well.

I have decided that if James still feels all this animosity and bitterness AFTER he becomes fully medicated THEN we will discuss our issues. I am hoping that so many of you who commented on the last blog and emailed me privately are right….. that once the bipolar fog lifts, he will be able to be reasonable. But I did put my foot down today.

I told him I will not tolerate anymore of this talk like I am a horrible mother. If he doesn’t like me, he can leave and live elsewhere. I know who I am and I know what I am and I am a good mother. I am stable and supportive. I don’t think good parents are enablers. He can go elsewhere for that. I will not be doing that for him which is what ultimately is pissing him off but I just don’t care anymore.

Demareo is on his last warning with me as well. I haven’t seen him since Monday. I told him last week that if he wasn’t going to be here regularly then he must call me. He didn’t and then tried to say James knew where he was. Obviously he is missing the point. The point is that a phone call is what you do to be respectful of the people housing your ass so they don’t worry or wonder. He’s an ass. He’s on the last warning. Next time, his shit will be sitting on the porch.

After all the comments and emails, and after speaking with my daughter, I think I have finally come around to realize that I don’t need selfish ungrateful shallow people in my life. It doesn’t matter whether I gave birth to them or not. I do NOT deserve to be treated like a piece of shit by anyone. Period. I don’t let anyone else get away with that, even Chelsea. I have cut Chelsea off from communicating with me more than a few times when she gets too self absorbed and whiny. Why am I letting James do it? Why am I letting Mareo take advantage of me?

So that’s it. If they don’t like it, they are of age and have the free will to move the hell out and quit mooching off me! Don’t let the door hit you in the ass, honey…..

Chelsea did admit something to me today. She has been trying to be closer to Tim since the end of her senior year of high school. She makes a point to call him often, probably to whine and ask for money, but also to actually ask him how he is. I am happy she does this. I fully have encouraged her to reach out and keep Tim close. He is a little scatter brained and wouldn’t always remember to do that on his own (which is why James has issues with him). So today, she tells me that she talked with him but he went in a weird direction and she felt bad.

He used to do this all the time. I knew that he had done it in a major way last spring as well but she let it go. She has probably become more adept at spotting the warning signs of the path she is going down and averting his attention elsewhere. Good for her. I hate when he pulls her in unnecessary conversations that make her feel bad.

Well, apparently she has been lying to him …. he has been asking for a few weeks now where I have been staying at night. I think James calls Tim and complains that I am never home (because, you know, I need to be home 24 hrs a day for the 21 yr old son….). Well, Chelsea didn’t know what to say and didn’t want to be the one to say I had a boyfriend so she told him I was staying at Deann’s…… um…. yeah…..

I told her to stop lying to him immediately. Really…. what is his problem? Why does he keep asking and putting her in such an awkward position? I am sure he knows that I am staying with a boyfriend when I’m not home. I have made no attempt to hide that fact. I am sure a mutual friend already told him, and if not, I am positive that James did when he was complaining like a 10 year old to Tim about me not being home….

Why does he keep baiting her like that? Does he want her to say that I told her to lie about it? I didn’t. Is he trying to flush out the lie? Doesn’t he realize why she keeps lying about it? What is the point of all this?


After asking her again today, he then proceeded to tell her that he misses his family….. Now, Chelsea has inherited the same underlying voice of sarcasm that I inherited…. so her thought process when he said this to her was soaking wet with sarcasm…. but the words she spoke were indifferent…. lol! That’s my girl! But I still feel bad that she is still dealing with that a little….. it’s not bad like it used to be but it is still awkward for her….

So I am at Andy’s now for the weekend. We were going to go to the movies tonight but we weren’t sure how the snowfall would go. We’ll probably go sometime tomorrow. The first snowfall this winter is falling now. Andy finally pooped out and went to bed. He is sick with a sinus infection right now. I am going to take Kiana out for a walk just so I can check out the snow. I like snow…. I don’t like wind and cold, though….

Hope everyone else’s weekend goes well. If you are local, please be careful out there in this snow!


  1. Brenda says:

    Hey lady. I am glad to hear that things have calmed down over there. And I am glad that you called me and we averted your own irrational thinking! Ha! Did you get much snow? We didn’t get as much as they reported that you got in your area but people here drive like they had never seen snow before! Once I got home from work on Friday night, I stayed home. The drive home was bad enough for me. I drove just fine. It was all the other idiots! Ha! Got to love Chicago rush hour drivers! 😀

  2. Nate says:

    Um. Hel-lo? Aren’t you divorced now? Like fully and completely divorced? I thought the ex was living with some chick for the last year at least! Did they break up or something? Why is he caring what the hell you are doing? um. ok. Well, Chelsea is a spitfire. Hopefully, she can get that under control or just tell him that she is not your babysitter.

    Changing the subject to ME: Me and Stephen will be staying in Rosemont when we come to Chicago later this month. Are you girls ready to see the fabulousness that is me?! 😀

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