Drama…. done….

Posted: January 4, 2011 in Life In General

Well, I am just sitting here at Andy’s and I have NO INTERNET ACCESS!!! Crapola! I rely on it alot here because he doesn’t have cable. He’s got a ton of movies I could watch but I have ADHD too much to sit through a movie right now… Grrr!!!

I would call Nate but he’s out of the country with Stephen for a conference. Everyone else on God’s green earth is in bed by now… it’s 1am my time… Nate is my only late night friend… *sigh*

So I guess I can give you the low down on last week’s drama. I am kind of beyond the give a crap stage on it. I’m just meh now. I’m so bored with the whole situation….

So I haven’t spoke to Deann since she called me a selfish fucking bitch and told me to Fuck off. I mean, what’s the point? Like Nate said, she was pretty clear right there in what she thought about me…. and you don’t think of your friends in that regard, so I am obviously not her friend… So I haven’t even attempted to make contact. In my mind, I deserve an apology for that crazy ass outburst before I would ever even consider being friends again… And not the crappy teenager apology where they say. “I’m sorry, but….” I want a real freaking apology…

So… yeah… haven’t spoke to her. I sent the kids gift cards for Christmas and sent Gatlin his check so he would quit bothering me and that has been it. I stayed away. I was hoping outta sight, outta mind… ya know?

My friend Joanne was told by her son that her and Deann’s former mutual friend Stacie (yes, the bitch who totally trashed me to D’s family several months ago but that’s besides the point….) was wanting to “kick her ass” because Deann told her that Joanne was talking crap about Stacie’s family (i.e. kids). First of all, what fucking GRADE are you in? You want to kick her ass? You are almost 40 for Pete’s sake! GROW UP!

Okay, so Joanne is one of those people who hates the thought of someone thinking something about her that isn’t true. Joanne tells me she has never talked about Stacie’s kids. That she doesn’t even know them so why would she say anything bad about them. I can see that. She doesn’t know them. But, anyway, so she hates the thought that Stacie really believed that and wanted to set the record straight so she emails Stacie. She did this in middle of the night and didn’t tell me until after she sent it. I could have told her what would happen but it was too late by the time I woke up.

So, Stacie gets this email and then forwards it to Deann who then forwards it to me with two words attached: “your friend???” I sent a message back to D telling her that I didn’t know why she was forwarding the message to me, because I had absolutely NOTHING to do with the situation or either of them and to quit forwarding me crap that doesn’t matter to me. She replies that she just thought I would like to know “for whatever reason”. What the fuck does that mean? Stupid… She also said it has everything to do with it all… like it has everything to do with me and Deann and everything….

Uh…. no, it doesn’t. And it pissed me off that she keeps acting like there are other forces involved in why we aren’t friends. So I got pissed and told her she was clueless and delusional if she thought that…. Um… yeah… that didn’t go over well. Hey! It’s not like I called her a selfish fucking bitch! Mirror?

So she gets upset and goes off on me about calling her clueless and delusional. I just sent one sentence back that said, “I meant that you have no idea why we aren’t friends anymore.” That was it. She said ok and then 20 minutes later says, “why aren’t we friends anymore?” I didn’t get the 2nd part until a couple of hours later because I went up to Joanne’s because she was upset that she had given in to her weakness for acceptance and felt like a fool for believing that everyone has some good in them and that Stacie would be a good person and want to make nice and talk about the rumor/situation/catty comments. Yes, it IS that bitch that totally trashed me several months ago! (I know what you are saying…)

So I didn’t answer Deann right away… 2 hours later, I get back to Andy’s and she has deleted and blocked me so now I couldn’t respond even if I wanted to. I don’t even know if I would have responded but that pretty much made it final right there. Then Gatlin deleted and blocked me. And, now, a few days later, Aly deleted and blocked me. They also did this to Andy who had nothing to do with anything. I’m not really upset about it…. well… I am a bit sad about Aly but there is nothing I can do…. Gatlin already unblocked me because he probably couldn’t stand not seeing something… that’s just his nosiness coming out.

I do know that Gatlin told Joanne’s son that Joann “stole” me from Deann. That right there just shows the level of delusional thinking going on there and what they are telling the kids happened. She really has no idea WHY we aren’t friends! You all have seen the nitty gritty here in my blogs. You tell me…. why aren’t we friends anymore? To me, it is VERY clear and I had told her repeatedly WHY but she continues to just make up reasons out of thin air! It’s very frustrating and yet highly laughable all at the same time!

Joanne is still dealing with it a bit because they have kids that go to school with their kids. I feel bad for her because she is not the person that D and Stacie are making her out to be. It’s kind of sad because I always thought me and Deann had about the same kind of character judgements but she is WAY off with Joanne. She acts like Jo is this malicious, conniving, catty person who is manipulative…. She’s not. She really just isn’t. She is bipolar. She hasn’t told me the stage but she used to have hallucinations and takes heavy meds to keep those at bay so that’s stage 1, right? She takes her meds regularly and is normal. Her thing is she is a little naive because she always wants to believe in the good of every person and she always wants to be accepted and approved of. She also tends to overreact and be impulsive in most situations, which is why she sent that email without telling anyone first….

So I guess that is now truly, truly it. Deann has now cut me out of her life entirely and we have no ties together anymore. She even has the kids blocking me now, which was our only real connection left anyway, and obviously does not want me to be any part of their lives ever again. That is the saddest part. But that is obviously what she wants and I am convinced by her actions that I should just leave it as is.

If I were to try to salvage anything, it would be at the cost of my own integrity and character at this point and I am no longer willing to waste that away on people who think I am a piece of shit. Period. If she were to come to me, with no one else tagging along, to sincerely apologize like a real woman, I might consider burying the hatchet. But she will NEVER do that. She never apologizes and she never admits guilt and she never backs down. That’s who she is. I accept that.

So that was the drama last week. It was a really shitty way to end the year, but now it’s done and over with for good. I will not have to worry about it at all for the new year. And this year is going to be AMAZING! I won’t be letting this extreme loss of family and friendship pull me down. I’m sure she would love it if I was in extreme misery over it, but I refuse to do that. My life is going too damn good. I have so much to look forward to this year! I feel bad that she will not be a part of it, but that was her choice all the way…

  1. Sarah & Al says:

    I’m just catching up on this drama in your life. I read the original blog with the messages just today. Someone has anger management issues it seems to me but maybe it’s just an emotional time for her? I don’t know her but I do know you and I have never known you to be all about yourself. At EP, you are always helping everyone else. I know you as “the motivator”. šŸ˜† You are the one who tells everyone what their true potential is and builds up egos. I am really surprised at how she thinks you are selfish but her whole message was about herself. 2011 is a new year. Just do you and don’t be friends with people who don’t care for you any longer. Life is too short! Keep your head up!

    Sarah & Al

  2. Hilary says:

    W.T.F. is her problem? She doesn’t know why you aren’t friends STILL? I know why. It’s because she called you names and told you to fuck off and told you that you were a bad friend. That seems pretty easy to figure out. Maybe she needs to go back and look at what she wrote to you compared to what you wrote to her! I don’t get people like that.

  3. Brenda says:

    Oh dear. This again? Why does this woman keep pulling you into such messes? If she thinks you are such a bad person, why is she continually contacting you? Well, I suppose it does not matter anymore. She deleted and blocked you, right? Well, thank goodness because that means she can’t contact you via Facebook any longer. Does she have your email? Maybe you should block her from contacting you that way. You do not need to be involved in this any more.

    I agree with you whole heartedly that you should not be friends with people who think badly of you. Who would want that? You have plenty of people who love you just as you are, even the neurotic parts. šŸ˜‰

    And that Stacie woman is just toxic. I agree – how old is this woman? Who says they are going to kick someone’s ass over the age of 25? I have many many friends IRL in all age groups and I can think of none of them who would ever say this. She sounds a little backwoods to me. I know you live in the sticks so maybe that is it?

    The best part of your post was the next to last paragraph about preserving your integrity and character. You are correct in this assessment. Don’t settle this at a cost to who you are. She will not be apologizing to you, like you said. I don’t know her but from everything you have told us about her, even in the good times, she is not an apologetic person. That is her loss – not just in this instance, but in life.

    I have known you for a while now and I have met you IRL. I have talked you through some tough times as you have done for me. I like to think I know you better than a mere acquaintance. I would be honest with you if I thought you were wrong and I have told you in the past when you are wrong. This is not one of those times, Renee. Your stance on this situation is very reasonable.

    And, for the record šŸ˜‰ , you are not friends with her because she said you were not a good person. You told her that repeatedly in your messages to her. Yes, it was very clear to me.

    We love you. Surround yourself with positive people and you will be happier.


  4. Nate says:

    I’m late to the party I see but I already knew most of this. šŸ˜›

    MOOOOVE ONNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why would you even respond to anything she sent to you? She clearly doesn’t like you at all!!!! STTTOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Seriously —- I know she was your best friend for 20+ years. I have only been your friend for 3 years. I do consider you one of my besties, tho, and I feel I do know you better than most. I have never known you to be the person she thinks you are. Yea, you can be gratingly honest sometimes. I love that more than anything about you and appreciate it for what it is I guess. Yea, you can be whiney at times. I don’t take that for selfishness, tho. Everyone is whiney sometimes and in freindship that is called give and take. Sometimes I’m whiney and you tolerate it and sometimes you are whiney and I tolerate it. GIVE and take!!! She wasn’t willing to give anymore. Her loss!!!!!!!

    She sounds jealous to me and she should be. You have been an incredible friend to me in the last 3 years and I know you truly care about me and have my best interests at heart. Even when I hate what you are saying to me. šŸ˜› I know you are genuine and sincere. That is rare. She should be jealous. And sad. She lost a great loyal friend. And those are sooooooooo hard to come by, girlfriend! I am sooooooo glad I have you in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    She didn’t appreciate you in the end. You have many who do. Start this year drama freeeeeeee!!!!!

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