Hump Day….

Posted: January 12, 2011 in Life In General

Is this week over yet? Ugh! I am just not feeling this week….

First of all, I am starting to really hate my job… I mean, I love my job… I love the clients. I love helping people. I love solving problems… big life changing problems…. but I hate the corporate enviroment. I HATE IT! My manager keeps answering my questions with non-answers. It’s ridiculous. I am frustrated beyond belief. I need to make sure I play the lotto this week. I am praying for a miracle obviously….

Andy seems to keep glazing over whenever I talk about general things in my life and its a concern for me. I’m not really sure quite what to say to him about it. I love him very much. The bubble we live in together is very isolated from my “other” life at my house. At his house, its me and him… alone… hibernating away from the world…

But I have this other life going on. I have two kids. Yes, they are grown ass adults, but young adults today are not like young adults back in our day. They don’t just go out into the world and take care of themselves anymore…. well… most don’t anyway…. They need things. They have lives that still involve you as a parent. They still depend on you and mooch off you and run up all your utilities…. They don’t just disappear into their own adult lives anymore….

When I talk about them and my struggles with them, I know that Andy can’t relate. I’m sure that is hard for him. That’s not his fault. It’s just the way it is. His life as an adult has been very different from mine and certainly less family oriented than mine. I am a family oriented woman. Period. That is who I am. I used to think Andy could use a little of that… but he kind of has to want that too, huh?


It’s only been 4 months. January 24th will be 4 months. There has been alot going on with the holidays and my vacation and everything…. I am probably expecting too much too soon. Maybe he isn’t thinking of this relationship as a long term thing. What the hell do I know, right? I can’t tell what he is thinking in that regard. He never says anything. It’s only been 4 months. I need to ride this out.

It’s not like this is a deal breaker or anything. My kids are GROWN, after all. It would just be nice to be able to have a conversation about them without his eyes glazing over and him acting so disinterested. I guess I could be reading his reactions wrong. I have done that in the past, as you all well know…. but sometimes I think maybe he should be worrying about MY reaction instead of me trying to read his…. 🙄

I got my Jo-Carroll bill yesterday and it is $110 more than my bill last year. I am starting to freak out a little. I haven’t been selling online, so I obviously need to do that. That is what saves my ass. I don’t get child support anymore so I have to sell online to be financially independent and I just put that all by the wayside because I started this relationship with Andrew. I had to do that, though. Selling online requires ALOT of commitment of my time and I can’t develop a relationship doing it. I think I could get away with selling less than I normally do, though. But I still need to sell something. And I have such a massive inventory amount left to work with. I need to quit being so damn lazy and just do it.

(Side note: Nate! I have ALLIGATOR PURSES from the 50’s and 60’s that I will be putting on Etsy soon! Keep your eyes open for them! You will love them!)

I can’t remember who said it but someone said I should do more of those grindhouse collages and sell those so I may try that on a small scale and see how that goes. There are a few little niches that I could maybe capitalize on as well – the horror industry, comics, some youth related character type art…. I’m going to do a couple of projects and then list them online and see how it goes. I have nothing to lose at this point since I already have all of the materials. I will probably ask for your guys’ input once I get them listed on Etsy…. if they don’t work out or aren’t popular then I will just ditch the idea….

This week is DRAGGING by….. at least it’s halfway done now…. but UGH! I am so not feeling like my usual positive upbeat self this week at all! I hope I can pull myself out of this rut… 😦

  1. Nate says:

    ALLIGATOR PURSES????? SQQUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! I get first rights to purchase, right?

    Quit having a PITY PARTAY! Pull up your big girls panties, love! Its just a bad week. That’s all. You will get thru it. You always do. Quit stressing over the family thing too. It has only been 4 mos. Don’t stress! If he loves the same Renee I do then he loves the fact that you treat everyone like family and you have that comfy family feeling. Everyone sees that. The boy ain’t blind!

    Are you gonna be whiney alllllllllllllll daaaayyyyy????????? STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Renee says:

      I can be whiney all day if I want to! 😛 And I will consider letting you have first dibs on the purses…. if you quit being a bitch first…. 😛 is that “comfy family feeling” enough for ya? LMAO!

      • Nate says:

        Why, yes, coming from you, yes it is. Luvs you!!!!!!!!!!!! (and I do get first DIBS – whatever that is. 😛 Whiner.

  2. Hilary says:

    i am hating my job this week too renee! lol! i hope to end the week strong tho. when you get your inventory uploaded on etsy, let me know and i will try to include it in one of my treasuries! oh how i love a good treasury 😉 chin up buttercup!

  3. Brenda says:

    Don’t you just love the winter utility bills? Mine wasn’t too bad but this month’s still has yet to arrive. You are scaring me! 😆

    It has only been four months, dear. Give him some time. He doesn’t have the same background as you. Give him some time to acclimate. I am sure that if he knows you well enough, then he knows that you are a family centered type of person and will try to accomodate you. Just don’t expect him to jump right in. He isn’t used to it, as you said, and since it isn’t a deal breaker, then you do not want to make it seem more important than it needs to be.

    That being said, family is important. I know it is very important to you as we have spoke often together regarding our families. My hope for you is that he does plan to be with you long term and does recognize your need for family and makes the effort, even in baby steps, to be a part of your life in that aspect. Family ties are very important in life but some people don’t always have very good families to learn that from. You know that better than most since you have taken in wayward children in the past.

    It will all work itself out. 🙂


    • Renee says:

      I hope so, Bren! I really do! I would like to think that he truly does love me enough and know me well enough to see me as I am…. but you know me… always waiting for the other shoe to drop…. never feeling quite good enough to be worthy…. but we will see eventually…. it has only been 4 months…. I can’t expect him to change his perception of family that he’s had his whole life just because I came into it…. or can I? I’m so inexperienced at this stuff! You are right. I am making this out to be more important than it needs to be right now….. *sigh* Thanks, Bren…. you always seem to know the right course of action….

  4. Sarah & Al says:

    I agree with Brenda. It will work out. He has surprised you in the past with his unorthodox reactions to things. Don’t take it personally. It’s too soon to take it personally. Enjoy today!

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