All about dogs…..

Posted: January 27, 2011 in Life In General

I am in one of those places right now where I am sitting right on the edge between insanely crying and breaking shit and I don’t even really understand why I am being such a nutcase…

Here’s the deal:

Andy has been looking for a second dog. I knew this. I knew it before we were “together”. Duh. I knew it BEFORE we were together.

I have really been missing Petey alot lately and had spoken of bringing Petey to Andy’s with me and seeing what could be worked out, even if it was just for the night, you know? I feel bad for him that he is home alone most nights and the boys are mean to him. He really is a sweet dog and he does mean the world to me. He spends every minute almost when I am home with ME, following me around…. sleeping near me… coming up to make sure he gets kisses before I leave for the day….

The problem with Petey is that he doesn’t like big dogs. Ever since James’ dog Ali attacked him, Petey has been on the offensive ever since. Now, I think this only applies to dogs bigger than him and male. Chelsea brought her slightly larger girl dog over and Petey was fine. Deann’s dog came over but it is smaller and male and Petey was fine. The 2 massive male Rottweilers that some asshole walks past my house regularly…. not fine. Petey will attack them viciously.

So I have been reluctant to bring him to Andy’s because I am scared he will be an asshole to sweet Kiana. Plus, he doesn’t “walk” on a leash…. he just pulls…. and he has NEVER pooped or peed in front of anyone (to his knowledge anyway) so getting him to do so on a pulling walk would be a challenge…. but, hey, I thought I could maybe retrain him or that I could bring him to Andy’s just for the overnight hours and he would be fine, especially since Kiana is a submissive girl.

Well, scratch that….. Andy is currently on his way to get his new 3 year old German Shepherd. Now, to Andy’s credit, he did ask me if it was okay with me. He told me he had been looking a while and he had always wanted a German Shepherd since he was a kid. But he wouldn’t get one if I was opposed. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO THAT????????????????

I mean, really…. First of all, I love him. I don’t want to say no. Second of all, “since he was a kid”???? Here…. I will definitely tell you how much I want to crush your childhood dreams πŸ™„ πŸ™„ πŸ™„ …… WTF???? Thirdly, I guess a future with me and MY dog was never a consideration. 😦

I don’t know what the fuck I am doing right now. I really feel like this shouldn’t be this big of a deal AT ALL and yet in my heart I am screaming! I don’t know if it’s because it just seems like he is never really considering any type of future with me at all. (Probably it….) I mean, he never even gave my dog any consideration for the position.

LMFAO! That last sentence was ridiculous.

Listen to me? ARGH! I am so fucking upset about this and I and being a fucking psycho about it! I need to pull my fat ass together here….

I love dogs. I do. I wish Petey got along with all dogs, but thanks to James’ dog, he doesn’t… well, he does…. as long as they aren’t male and they aren’t big.

*sigh*

So he’s on his way here. With the dog. And he has to go to work. So I have to keep an eye on a new dog and make sure Kiana is okay all night. And I have to leave them alone together for at least an hour in the morning. Which scares me for Kiana. And we don’t know if he’s housebroken. *sigh* I hope that goes well. I do. But I’m still freaking out.

And, if I’m being honest with myself, I guess my ego is a little bruised that he doesn’t even think about a longer term future with me. It’s the sting of knowing where I stand…. which is nowhere…. fuck.me.running.

Now… being the QUEEN of turn arounds and positive thinking, here’s what I am going to tell myself right now: at least I know where I stand. I know now. No more guessing. Right?

I know this seems like such a stupid thing. I mean, it’s only about dogs…. but to me… and probably more so for Andy…. our dogs are our CHILDREN. They are SIGNIFICANT factors in our lives. And it’s kind of sort of like he adopted a new kid with complete disregard as to how my kid would feel about it because he never imagined being close enough to me to need to welcome my kid in… get it? fuck!

I am a crazy person right now. I am being such an idiot. I need to get over myself right now. This is completely stupid. I am completely stupid. In a few days, I am going to be laughing over this post…. talking about how I was just a PMSing freak of nature today. Yeah. That’s it. PMS. That’s what it is…..

It will be okay. It will be okay. It will be okay.

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Comments
  1. Hilary says:

    Breathe! Just breathe! And quit freaking out! I don’t think you are being unreasonable in your thoughts, but you are rationalizing it unreasonably. Here’s the thing — boys are stooopid! They do not think nearly as deep as you are thinking he is! You are the one who originally told me that!!! You need a good night’s rest and you will feel much better about this. Hugs!

    • Renee says:

      You are right, Hil. Thanks for reminding me of my own right mind….lmao! I am a bit calmer now. He’s not back yet, but I think I’m calming down now… it will be okay. Tomorrow is a brand new freaking day and it’s Friday at least…

  2. Nate says:

    You are just stressed because you had a shitty day to begin with and then this! Call me. You need intervention. You are being a crazy stupid bitch. And I love you, so call me.

    • Renee says:

      No kidding! I can’t believe what an incredibly crappy day this has been! I’m taking Hilary’s advice as soon as possible. I need to start over! But I will call you when I go to bed, dbag. I’m so glad someone loves the really neurotic me……. and I love you, too…..

  3. Brenda says:

    Oh dear. I wish I had checked in last night. 😦

    Well, I will say that I agree with Hilary. Most men do not think as deeply as we women like to believe they do. I’m sure he wasn’t trying to sabotage a future with you. Maybe it was just that he saw the glorious childhood dream doggie in the window and all rational thought went out the door?

    Andy was quite brave to take on a full grown shepherd. They are very strong and agile and can be stubborn. I won’t say anymore until I read the update. I saw in my email that you had an update to the situation but I came to this post first. Off I go —

    Bren

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