Just give it to me straight.

Posted: February 4, 2011 in Life In General

Okay, okay, okay…..

I get that I am one of the most inexperienced women when it comes to relationships. I married a man I knew since I was 14 years old and then stayed married to the cheating asshole until 40 was breathing down my neck, all the while completely being a blind as a bat weakling. Then I started my only other adult relationship with a total narcissistic, passive aggressive nutjob whose penis slowly retracted into some nether region and was never seen again. Then I sat around pining away for Andrew like one of those creepy “secret” admirer/stalkers for 4 damn months and would probably STILL be doing that had he not made a move otherwise! ๐Ÿ™„

I am pathetic. I get that. I need help deciphering the male psyche. I am so confused!

So we were snowed in basically for a few days. I stayed at Andy’s during that time. We had a great time just sleeping and watching movies and cooking and talking non-stop. He couldn’t seem to get enough of me. He was sweet and loving and affectionate. He was very expressive. He seemed to have no inhibitions telling me exactly how he felt about me on Thursday when I had to return to work. It was a beautiful thing, I’m telling you! ๐Ÿ˜€

When I arrived back on Thursday night, he seemed a little more distant. Ok. I figured, hey… he is probably feeling a little crowded and maybe even a little sick of me. Hell, I get sick of myself sometimes! It’s possible! So, ok… I get that. I am sympathetic to that feeling… so I don’t take it personally and back off and let him take the lead for whatever… that’s fine.

Well, I get here tonight and he’s even MORE distant! Ugh! I cooked and we ate together and then he retreated to his office and then went to bed. I told him when he went that I might join him just for a nap. He seemed a teeny bit annoyed by it but said ok. I waited an hour and went in. I tried not to wake him at all but apparently I did…

So he gets up and holes himself up in his office. I get up after about an hour and make coffee and start working on a few art projects. He came and sat down with me for a bit and then retreated once again to his office. I was a little fed up at ths point so I started watching Dexter on Netflix. He got ready for work and left…. He did give me a nice kiss when he left…

WTF? Do all men have this kind of PMS/schizophreic style behavior? What is their excuse for being able to act that way? Women have a damn good excuse… what do men say? Is this normal? I have no one normal to compare this to… I only have bipolar ex-husband or narcissist ex-boyfriend… not really good healthy examples….

I hate being unsure. I am one of the most confident people I know… the ONLY place I am NOT really confident in is in relationships, because I have sucked at them thus far and I am so scared of screwing this one up…. I HATE HATE HATE being insecure! This is a god awful feeling! *sigh*

Anyway, I’m looking for SOMEONE to tell me that his behavior is normal. Please. Just tell me. If it’s not normal, please do as I would do for you… and you know what that means if you know me…

Thank you in advance.

  1. Nate says:

    Well, I’m not the one who can tell you anything “straight” ๐Ÿ˜†

    So I’m guessing entirely here but I think he was acting normal and you are acting like a crazy ass mexorean again. He probably doesn’t have any clue that he was doing anything different. I see how you would think that but he doesn’t.

    Quit acting like a big huge girl. You are being stupid. ๐Ÿ˜›

  2. Hilary says:

    i’m prolly not the best person to answer this since i am single and can’t keep a guy but i’ll give it a shot i guess. haha! i think guys just don’t get what they are supposed to do. they expect women to act like men. they don’t understand that most women have insecurities and need to know they are wanted and loved all the time. guys lay it on thick when they realize this but they have such short attention spans that they forget like the next day! and then they wonder why you are upset. i don’t need a guy to lay it on thick. i need a guy that’s consistent. so i feel ya, girl. i feel ya.

  3. Brenda says:

    Yes, dear. This is normal. I actually agree with Hilary on this one. Men just don’t seem to “get it” and they will even forget after you’ve told them. Don’t make yourself insane over this. Every single woman goes through this. It’s your reaction to it that makes or breaks the situation.

    My husband does this all the time and it doesn’t matter how many times I tell him not to do it. He will inevitably fall back to old habits and start all over again. It’s an ongoing process, training my hubby! LOL!

    So don’t let this get you down, Renee. You aren’t crazy. He is definitely doing that if he is a normal man. Don’t take it personally. It’s a chromosone defect I think.

    There is probably nothing you can do except to point out that he is doing it but that doesn’t help either. Just come to terms with the fact that sometimes men can be insensitive to our needs, just as we can sometimes do the same to them. You aren’t doing anything wrong! It’s NORMAL!

    Love, Bren

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