Catastrophe. :(

Posted: February 14, 2011 in Life In General

Fuck. Me.

I am seriously like hyperventilating right now. Today has been a complete disaster. WTF. I feel like I can’t do anything right. FUCK!!!!!

Andy shows up at my house this morning. He came bearing gifts… a dozen red roses and a box of candy. Very sweet. But I looked like hell had froze over me. I had no make up on, I hadn’t brushed my hair AT ALL yet, I was wearing black capri sweatpants and a white dog hair encrusted brown zip up hoody with my black snow boots. Yes, and it gets better… when I looked in the mirror after he left, I realized that I had a brown icing stain on my left cheek from a cookie I ate at Joanne’s this morning. Super. Just super.

Andy hadn’t been home yet, so he left here and went home. He gets there and Kiana had knocked over a small glass I had put Hershey kisses in and ate them all…. foil and all for the most part. There were only like 8-10 kisses in the glass but…. ARGH!

So yeah. I poisoned his dog. What the mother loving fuck?! God obviously does not want me to have a boyfriend. 😦

So Andy had to pour hydrogen peroxide down Kiana’s throat to induce vomiting and she has the shits and she has to eat chicken or beef broth for the next 2 days. There was broken glass everywhere that he had to clean up. *sigh*

I am so distraught about this. Andy started his initial message telling me of this with “I just want to reassure you that I am not mad or upset…” Um. Yeah. You know that means that at first he was mad and upset. I have made such a mess of all of this! I feel like such a piece of shit!

I should have thought about it. If it had been Petey, I would have thought about it because he steals food all the time. He loves candy for some reason. He doesn’t really eat it, though, he just plays with it and licks it because he can’t get it out of the package. It never occured once to me to keep this out of Kiana’s reach, though. She is such a good dog. I have never seen her scavenge for food or anything like that. I just didn’t think. How could I be so stupid?

I don’t even want to go home tonight. I feel so horrible about this. I just want to curl up in bed and feel sorry for myself. 😦 Instead, I am eating the box of Ferrero Roche chocolates Andy brought me and crying while I am trying to type and wiping up chocolate off my keyboard.

I blew this today. I suck at life. 😦

  1. Sarah & Al says:

    (((((RENEE)))))) I’m so sorry that happened to you (and Kiana)! Please don’t let this ruin your day!

    My little yorkie ate a whole Milky Way bar one evening while Al and I were out to supper. She had diahrea for maybe a day and she was fine. And she is a itty bitty dog. I called my vet in a panic. He just told me to keep an eye on her and feed her soft food for a day or two, ut she was fine. It happens more often than you think.

    Don’t be so down, Renee. It will be fine. I know you were hoping for a romantic, loving day today. The day is not over. I’m sure Andy isn’t mad about it. He told you he wasn’t so believe him. I’m sure he knows your heart was in the right place and that you weren’t trying to poison his dog.

    Chin up, buttercup! 😉

    Sarah & Al

  2. Brenda says:

    Oh dear. I’m so sorry that happened to Kiana! It’s not your fault, Renee. Dogs are like kids. Sometimes they do very stupid things. I own (right now) 7 boxers. They are notorious for doing dumb things and live up to that every day. Don’t blame yourself, honey!

    First of all, I can tell you that if the kisses were just regular Hershey kisses then you didn’t poison Kiana at all. American milk chocolate is used in those and the cocoa content is so small. It’s the cocoa that is deadly for dogs. She will be fine. I saw the small glass you had from the previous posting and my dogs have ate way more than that of chocolate and they were fine. She will be fine, Renee.

    You are not a piece of s***. Everyone makes mistakes. It was just a little mistake. Don’t beat yourself up!

    Hugs to you!


  3. Nate says:

    You don’t suck at life. I love you to death!!!!!! And I don’t love losers. So you don’t suck. And you aren’t cursed or anything. It was just a bad day, girlie. I’m calling you RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Answer dammit!!!!!!!!

    P.S. Did he like any of the pictures?

  4. rick says:

    holy shit, woman. that really sucks! I hope you aren’t still upset and letting this ruin your day. It’s not like you did it maliciously.

  5. Hilary says:

    OH NO! I don’t even know what to say! I am in shock! Please don’t be so hard on yourself, girl! It was an honest mistake and you didn’t know! YOU DON’T SUCK AT LIFE! You are way better at it than me! I walked into work in front of you-know-who and thought he was checking out my ass today. Then I went to the bathroom and realized he was looking at my ass because I had a french fry smooshed onto the curve at the bottom of my ass. Not good. So embarrassed. Feel better now?

  6. Renee says:

    STATUS UPDATE: Came home reluctantly. Andy was sleeping. Kiana was alive and acting very normal. Took her for a long walk and she did all the normal things. She seems fine to me. Andy woke up at 10:15 but didn’t wake me until almost 11pm. He left by 11:10pm without saying ANYTHING about the artwork at all. FML. I just feel like such a failure today.

    (He did opt to take some lasagna to work but was just kinda like “gee thanks” when I told him I made it for him…. that lasagna was expensive and time consuming to make! I was hoping for a little more than the gee thanks deal…. *sigh*)

    Team meeting in Chicago burbs all day tomorrow so I won’t see him at all. Maybe that’s a good thing right now… because I just feel so…. blech about ME right now… 😦

    • Nate says:

      would you puh-leese SNAP THE FUCK OUT OF IT!!!!??????? This was NOT that big of a deal today. DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The dog got sick because it was bad and ate things it shouldn’t have! NOT your fault per se! The artwork you did was FABULOUSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I APPRECIATE YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND EFFORT IN MAKING THEM even tho they aren’t even mine! QUIT FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!! SO QUIT BEING A MORON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. nate says:

    aaaannnndddd she is BACK!!!!!!!!!

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