It Must Be Nice….

Posted: March 9, 2011 in Life In General

If I hear one more person say “It must be nice to work from home….”, I am going to punch them in the throat. Because when someone says to you: “It must be nice to work from home…”, it REALLY means:

~ that’s why you’re fat…
or
~ you must have a cushy job
or
~ how lazy is THAT?
or
~ BITCH!
or
~ she probably only works an hour a day, during commercial breaks of soap operas….

I mean, that’s what *I* used to think when I was commuting to Rockford for 3 hours a day for 9 years, so hey… I know, I know, so now I am the pot calling the kettle black. Pshhhh…. whatever….

There are alot of pros to working at home, sure. But there are alot of cons as well. When I orginally started working from home, it was not by choice. My company closed down the office that I worked in to save a measly $4000 a year. I was a valued employee (meaning my numbers were good) so they “graciously” offered me an at home position. It was either that or move to another office and commute over 200 miles a day, in rush hour suburban Chicago traffic. Um. No, thank you.

I decided today that since I was acting like such a bitch about this annoying comment that I should make up a list for MYSELF so that I would feel all superior whenever anyone mentioned it to me. You know… to avoid the whole throat punching/assault/cop calling interaction…. 🙄

PROS:

I can work totally naked. I save on that $4 a gallon gas. I avoid running people off the road in fits of rage. I have more time to be with my family. I don’t have to deal with those bitches from the law firm next door anymore. I’m always home to sign for packages. I am internet connected 24 hours a day so I can keep up with every single Facebook post and “like” stuff all damn day. I can take a shower during my lunch break. I never have to leave the house, EVER. I get to speak to people from all over the country and of all nationalities. Less stress since I know my boss thinks I’m kick ass.

CONS:

The people who live with me don’t appreciate my nakedness. My utilities went up thus cancelling out my gas savings. I have fits of rage while my phone is muted. I am always available for my family and I don’t really like them THAT much. I don’t get to say catty, sarcastic insults to those bitches in the law firm now 75 miles away. My freaking dog barks during my phone calls whenever anyone knocks on the door. I have a newfound and poorly developed addiction to midget porn on youtube. I never shower because I don’t have to. I am in danger of becoming the crazy cat lady, only without the cats. I cannot understand WTF my clients are saying! More stress because I have to kick ass to remain worthy of my overpaid employment.

SHIT….. I think it’s a wash. Hmmm…. Well, that sucks. This kind of self reasoning never seems to work out for me. I think I need to stop reasoning with myself and just remain neurotic and addicted.

Oh! Hey! Maybe if I do the whole non-shower thing for real, these idiots won’t even think of saying anything at all. Maybe they will just run if I lift my arms a little as they approach? Somehow, I think my amazing boyfriend is going to boycott this idea…. *sigh*

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Comments
  1. Nate says:

    First off, shower or please unfriend me NOW.

    Here’s what I think of when someone tells me they work from home: puh-leese, that bitch is just eating bon bons and watching Maury and trying to act like she’s doing something special. Tsk! And I have seen her house! Why is it always such a pigsty and her laundry is all over the damn place? (I then proceed to do an investigative tour through her home and medicine cabinet.) Aha! I knew it! That crazy bitch is so stressed that she has hemerhoids (sic) and needs Prep-H. Ha! Now I know the truth about how much your little home job life sucks.

    I tell the ladies in my building that I am a SAHD. They love me.

  2. Hilary says:

    I applaud your efforts to maintain a clean criminal record. Bravo!

    Anytime you can go to work naked with no warnings or anything means you win at life. BOOM! Game over bitches!

  3. rick says:

    karma’s a bitch honey but why do you even care to justify yourself to people who have no business judging you anyways?

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