I hate Mondays. I know ya’ll know that already…. but screw it…. I’m saying it again. I HATE MONDAYS!

I was already cranky when I started the day so I guess I have no one to blame but myself. Oh… wait… I *DO* have someone else to blame… my supposed “right hand man” who actually is two left thumbs. She’s there to make my life and the lives of my clients easier and yet CLEARLY does not understand this. 13 emails today. 13! From just this ONE person! She’s trying to kill me. I swear to God. She is trying to kill me!!!

But… (insert evil laugh here)… I have got news for her. I found out super secret spy stuff from my old and super humanoid prior “right hand man” and I am going to win this race. She thinks she has me down on the ground and begging for mercy. Little does she know… I am actually the tortoise. Patience is the key here. And what is so brilliant is that this girl is going to cut her own throat. CAN’T WAIT!

I know relishing in someone else’s quota demise is very evil, but SHE STARTED IT! So now it’s GAME ON! I’m sorry, but you know how in grade school you had that kid who always was kissing up to the teacher and doing everything exactly the right way for the teacher and no one else? Yeah. Sometimes doing what’s right for one person but not right for the whole can come back and bite you in the ass.

Okay, enough cryptic, death-to-coworker talk… I’m just really STRESSED!

So I ditched out of work early and I am skipping EP chats tonight. I came home to Andy’s and even though he is asleep in bed, I am going to veg out on the couch and watch brainless movies all night. If I have to think anymore today, my head is going to explode. And that will be messy. And Andy will be pissed if he has to clean that up. Yech!

My weekend went okay. Andy took a Unisom and ended up sleeping most of the weekend away. I also slept way too much but still less than him. Watched a few movies but nothing that really knocked my socks off. Oh. Other than the bluray of Psycho, which I highly recommend. It looks so crisp and clean on bluray! I was amazed! The last time I watched it was on like USA or TNT a few years ago and it didn’t look this good…

I didn’t catch up on TV shows so I am not going to comment much. I know Karen got cut from Idol, which was fine by me. Krista left for Redemption Island. Fine. Tiffany finally got booted off Top Chef. Great. Still haven’t watched this week’s continuation episode of Amazing Race. Maybe I’ll do that tonight…

This is like the most boring blog post EVER! I’m so not feeling it. Let’s see what I have in my old filofax… do they even have those anymore? what were they anyway? Oh. Who cares? My fancy filofax is actually a bunch of crumpled yellow post it notes in the bottom of my purse… Let’s see…

Aha! Here’s a quickie winner! I found this inspirational Glamour Magazine photo shot a couple of years ago that was inspired by REAL women in average American woman sizes and what they truly look like. I love this photo!

Beautiful at every size

All of you know I have been trying to lose weight. I do it every year. It’s always 30 pounds. I always eventually meet my goal but usually spend 6 months hemming and hawing about it all. Lately, I have struggled because my body hates me and it loves the current weight apparently. Me? Not a fan. Not a fan at all. Anyway, I am not losing weight to become a skinny bitch. Really. I’m not even losing weight to be skinny. Ha!

I am not a big fan of the emaciated, Ethiopian, Kate Moss-y, string bean, boyish body type. I really really *REALLY* like my boobs and my hips, thank you very much. I don’t even mind my belly too much… you know… if I’m lying down. 🙄 I could totally love myself just fine in a Botticelli body. To me, that’s sexy in a totally non-gay way… not that being gay is bad… it’s just not me… I love men… but it’s okay if you don’t! Totally! Eh… WTF ever… I’m just saying, to me, a woman with substance to her body is WAY WAY WAY sexier to me than the skinny bitches so I would rather be sexy than skinny.

My real goal is to be truly voluptuous in a arty Renaissance era way. When I see the artwork of so many famous artists who were inspired by women of real size and how beautiful the resulting art is… *sigh*… it’s one of the rare moments where I can truly appreciate art. Usually, I have no eye for art at all. I’m not quite refined enough… but I get the beauty of a real woman’s body. Yeah, I know… but really, ladies, I’m not gay… but I do aspire to be your muse. 😉

Here is just a small sampling of the REAL women who inspired REAL art:

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Comments
  1. Nate says:

    HUNEY, YOU ARE ALREADY A VOLUPTUOUS GODDESS!!!!! LOVE THIS POST AND SHARING IT!!! Everyone should love their bodies. EVERYONE!!!!

    Didn’t you start a self portrait project like a year or so ago? The “Love Yourself” project? What happened to that? I think you should consider starting it again.

    I am sooooooo glad I no longer have to work a corporate job! All that catty, back stabbing business is STRESSFUL!!!!!! I COULDN’T KEEP IT UP!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! 😆

    • Renee says:

      Thanks Naters! 🙂 I forgot all about the “Love Yourself” project! It’s really hard to take self portraits with my camera so I kind of gave up on it. Maybe I’ll consider trying to start it again this weekend. Andy is working all weekend so I will have lots of time to myself to maybe do some of it again. I’m not his traditional body type so I’m not about to ask him to help me. 😆 I’m glad you reminded me now!

  2. Hilary says:

    co-worker blues. I get it. I’m doing it too. Mondays are always the worst! It sucks! Just as Scotty still being on AI sucks. What’s up with that? I am so sick of him! 😡 I love the artwork you have collected. I’m in the same boat with you. I don’t want to be supermodel thin. I just want to be f’ing HAWT! 😉

  3. Ashleigh says:

    ahhh! Love the Renaissance era! My favorite is Renoir!

  4. Thomas says:

    so agree that you should never be one of the skinny bitches. hell, you look just fine right now to me. 😉

  5. Brenda says:

    Lovely post this morning, Renee! It’s always a good morning when you can drink your coffee and look at truly great art.

    I missed the EP chats as well. One of the dogs had a late afternoon vert visit and we ended up eating supper late and I had alot of homework to help with. I’m sure no one missed us. Those chats have been getting so popular lately.

    I love the Glamour magazine photo. I wish they would always use real women’s bodies in fashion magazines. I stopped buying Cosmo and Glamour specifically because I could no longer relate to their fashion sensibilities. High fashion does not look good on my size 14 body. 😦

    I wish my body had curves, though. I am built like an English Farm Maiden – strong as an ox but a little boxy 😆

    Hope your week gets better, dear!

    Bren

    • Renee says:

      I totally feel you on the magazines and the models they use. One of my favorite shows is Project Runway. I love some of the outfits and I am always on the lookout for higher end items that make curves look amazing. You gotta enhance what the Good Lord gave you, ya know?

      (And you are NOT BOXY! LMAO!)

  6. QuietlyOutspoken says:

    “My real goal is to be truly voluptuous in a arty Renaissance era way.”

    Fabulous line, and fabulous goal! 🙂

    • Renee says:

      Thank you! I should really make that my Dieting Mission statement, I believe. Plus, it makes me sound waaay smarter and artsy fartsy than I really am, so I LOVE IT! 😀

  7. Sarah & Al says:

    Al here. You know that the Renaissance era was embraced the most by the French right? LOL. I know you have a thing against Frenchies, Renee. LOL!

    Myself? I love a woman with meat on her bones. My ex was weight obsessed and a size 3. Bony hips. Ribs showing. Meh. The love of my life is a gorgeous size 16 and not a bone showing! LOL! She’s beautiful.

    Al

    • Renee says:

      What? I don’t have a thing against French people! THEY HAVE A THING AGAINST ME! lmao!

      And who told you that you could hijack my blog to suck up to your wife? What did you do now, Al? 😆

      (Side note: Al’s wife is absolutely stunning….. can I borrow $200 now?)

  8. Unless I’m starving myself silly, I’ve always got a zaftig body. I am what I am and I’m OK with that.

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