So I had to block a 16 year old on Facebook last night…

Yeah… Really…

It was my former best friend’s kid. He was coming at me with these really nasty, vile messages regarding my friend, Joanne, which really had absolutely nothing to do with me. I asked him several times to not message me negative stuff… that I liked hearing about him personally and how he was doing and everything but I didn’t want to hear negative crap… and he kept coming at me with all sorts of really repulsive, crude, classless smack talk about my friend as well as about me. Then, when I half assed tried to fight back, he got all offended and really started attacking me…

Really…

I have tried hard to leave all the kids out of this mess. I love them. I have loved them all since they were born. They meant the world to me. Everyone who reads my blogs regularly knows how I feel about all of them. I have told my own kids to stay out of it. That the fight between Deann and I has absolutely nothing to do with them and they have complied. This kid just can’t help himself. He was obviously not objective at all. He was obviously going to take his mom’s side. I get that. But…

What has happened between Deann and I is between Deann and I, no one else. They all like to blame Joanne for all this. I think they think if Joanne wasn’t in the picture then I would have caved by now and begged for forgiveness. What they completely don’t get, despite being told repeatedly, is that this has absolutely NOTHING to do with Joanne. And to be quite honest, all of you regulars at EP had WAY more input about what happened than Joanne ever did.

But, they are choosing to believe what they want to believe. They aren’t listening to me at all. They are just believing their own ignorance. It’s so sad. I feel pity for them that they can’t even listen to what I have so truthfully tried to tell them. Their arguments against me then seem so ridiculous and not worthy of me giving my time to, ya know?

I went back and reread the messages from Deann when all that went down in December and I also went back and read my blog posts on the matter. I still feel the same. I fully admit to maybe saying some things I shouldn’t have said. However, I did not say anything like what Deann said to me. What she said to me was horrible… stuff you don’t ever say to your true friends…

I stand firm in my decisions on the matter. I will not be friends with someone who is just tolerating me and thinks I am a piece of shit. If she would like to change her opinion of me and SINCERELY apologize WITHOUT telling me everything *I* did wrong, she knows where I am at. The days of me always coming to her and smoothing things over are long gone. Once she told me to fuck off and spent 2 days trashing me, I was done. THAT is what made my decision for me. Her words! nd her inability to apologize for them. Not Joanne. Not anyone else. It was completely and 1000% her words that did it. And ONLY her words will mend it. She will never do that so that’s what makes us not friends anymore… or ever again…

Geez… the shit that happens when you finally respect yourself enough, eh?

And to top off last night, today I went to Walmart to get a new curling iron because mine crapped out on me last night as I was trying to set up shots for stage 2 of the “Love Yourself” project… I wore a sweatsuit and a teeshirt, had my hair up since I couldn’t curl it, had very little make up on, and my hands were full of stuff because I refused to get a shopping cart… and who do I run into? My ex-husband, Tim. Oh joy.

You always run into people you don’t want to see when you look your worst, right? I hate when that happens! For what it’s worth, he didn’t look that great himself. I figured since he chose to open his Kirby business back up, he would have cleaned himself up again. That’s when he always looked his best… in a white collar world…

I saw a picture online somewhere of him last week. He was with my ex-traitor-brother-in-law. They were both wearing cowboy hats and hilarious western shirts. Tim’s had a horse picture trim on it. They were at some benefit or something. Tim always told me that I had horrible taste and would never let me pick out his ties or anything. But that shirt… wooohooo… that shirt was just screaming TACKY! πŸ˜†

But it wasn’t the shirt that struck me badly. What struck me and almost felt like a punch in the stomach was how big he looked, and unhealthy, and I’m thinking… who in the hell is letting him get this way? Who is feeding him crap? Who is not watching what he eats? Who is not on his ass about the smoking? The man has a heart condition. He NEEDS to eat healthy. He needs to quit smoking. He needs to keep his weight down. WTF??? 😑

When I saw him today, I said “HI” initially and restrained myself from going over to him to hug him and see how he was. I wish I had that kind of relationship with him. I really do. I was with him for 25 years pretty much. It’s not that I don’t care or even love him. I do. Just not in that wifey way. I would love to be able to hear how things are going in his life and congratulate him and encourage his endeavors. We were always such a good team and good friends. But I hurt him. I get that. And to him, that is irreversible damage. I wish it wasn’t but it is. I wish him well and I pray that SOMEONE loves him enough to kick his ass and get his shit under control. πŸ™„

I had a much better blog post for today… I may still post it later… but all this negativity and DRAMA invaded my life just last night and today so I just needed to get it out of my brain… aaaaannnnddddd RELEASE! Ahhhh… πŸ˜€

Hope your Sunday is better than mine! Love you all!

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Comments
  1. Nate says:

    You know what I have to say! STAY AWAY FROM THEM!!!!!! THEY ARE TOXIC TO YOUR INNER BEING!!!!! RUN SISTER RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    They don’t deserve you in their lives. And I’m not just saying that because now you are my BFF! πŸ˜† I really believe that they are batshit crazy and that you shine so much brighter without the soap opera!!!

    The ex? Hey, you tried to be friends. He chose not to be so his loss! In fact, its very much his loss becuz he doesn’t seem to have anyone telling him to quit KILLING HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!! He must need someone to tell him that. So sorry, girl!!!! It ain’t gonna be you!!!!

  2. Tracey says:

    yikes! thats a hole lot of drama! i swear that 16 year old boys can be just as bad as 13 year old girls. maybe he was pmsing? my ex-fiance was a marine. when i knew him, he was very muscular and tan and beautiful. he dumped me for a younger model. he is now 100 pounds heavier with a beer gut and no hair. hes unemployed and living off that younger models stripper income. lmao! I’m just glad I didn’t get stuck with him!

  3. Brenda says:

    Oh no! Not this again! I know you don’t want to hear it, hon, but you may need to block that entire family. It all just sounds like bad news! I can see how children are always going to side with their parents. I find it sad, like you, that they are not even getting the story right to begin with. That is just something you will have to let go.

    Do NOT unblock him, Renee! I know you feel bad about having to do that but don’t. You need to keep them out of your life. I think the damage done is much too deep and can never really be forgotten. Forgiven? Possibly, and moreso for yourself than anything, but not forgotten.

    Sometimes, words hurt beyond the normal hurt. As you suggested, what she said to you was beyond what normal fighting friends would say to each other. It’s hard to sincerely take back words that piercing.

    As for the ex-husband, he is no longer your concern to worry about. I know thats hard for you to understand. However, he has been pretty clear that he wants nothing from you anymore. And that includes your worry.

    Just be happy, Renee. Don’t stress over people who have moved on without you. Good or bad, they do seem to have moved on. You did as well and you are thriving!

    Bren

    • Renee says:

      Yes. I have moved on, Bren, and I am thriving and happy for once in my life. I just wish these other people would “get it” but I know they never will. You are right. As always.

  4. Sarah & Al says:

    Sorry you were having a bad day, Renee! I hope this day is better!

  5. Hilary says:

    Awe Holy Hell, Renee! What a big old pile of crap you have had to trudge thru! I’m just going to shoot it to you straight since I am headed to bed.

    FUCK THEM ALL!!!!!!!

    know what I mean?

  6. rick says:

    i cannot believe you are still messing with this business. i know you guys think im a dick but here me out. sometimes it pays to detach yourself from stupid shit like this. other than the first year after you seperated, these people have done nothing but take from you. yea. i know they helped you alot mentally and you were friends a long time ad you love her kids but thats done and dead. i saw you give and give and now everytime they contact you its to attack you. detach and drop darlin’. no one deserves to be attacked for such petty reasons. get over them and get the fuck away. delete block whatever you need to do. do it.

  7. Ashleigh says:

    Wow! I thought my life wuz complicated! lol!

  8. Rachael says:

    Too much drama! The drama hurts my head.

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