I am finally well. Not 100% but well enough to be able to think straight and not want to kill myself… Others? They may not be so safe… just sayin’…

So I was sick and laying around for days, pretty much comatose… I did a symptom check at WebMD because my face was killing even ME (ha ha!) and it basically said I had a hematoma. I don’t know what that is but it sounded serious so I started franticly looking for my stupid Will Maker software. I couldn’t find it and then REALLY started freaking out because I do NOT want to be rewarding anyone with my death who doesn’t deserve it… and that pretty much means I need to rewrite it like yesterday so I can give all my stuff to Habitat for Humanity like all the other weirdos out here in the real world…

I survived, though. I’m pretty sure that I am a medical miracle because hematoma sounds life threatening. I didn’t read about it but it has one of those types of names that you often hear whispered amongst the elderly women at Church. Know what I mean? 😉

Anyway, so while I was laid up and trying not to speak or even move my head, several things became very fucking annoying so I am just going to lay it all out there right now!

1. One of my son’s ex-girlfriends on Facebook is IN LOVE with Scotty on American Idol. Are you freaking kidding me???? I admit he did pretty damn decent this week but mostly because he’s hilarious… and of course he sang a country infused song by Elvis during Rock week. What a pussy! If you want to show me your balls, Scotty, try singing something NON-country… no country songs, no country twangs… and sing it acapella, bitch! 😡

2. Oh, and the Steven Tyler love on Facebook is disgustingly GROSS!!! I have a few of my very own friends who post love messages to Steven Tyler every damn week. Like he’s a sex god to them. ((shudder)) ICK! First of all, his face is not normal. NO ONE is supposed to look like he does at age 63 after spending half his life drinking and drugging. He’s a freak of nature! He is all creepy touchy feely. He never gives very constructive criticism. He says the weirdest shit ever and everything sounds like it has sexual undertones, which really grosses me out when he’s talking to Lauren or Haley. I almost needed to take a shower after watching this week’s show to wipe the pedophilia vibe off me… YUCKY!

3. Jacob Lusk: Buy a dress and a wig already. You know you’re queen… get on with it already!

4. James vs. Chelsea: This will probably get a seperate post at a later date because the level of ridiculousness that is James is getting beyond my level of patience. He has taken the 2 year old stance of never ever forgiving his sister ever until she apologizes to him for not giving him the last 4 digits of MY social security number. He won’t accept her friend requests and he says he’s never talking to her again. HOW FUCKING OLD ARE YOU? WHOSE CHILD ARE YOU? I am so done dealing with such irrational behavior… 🙄

5. GAS PRICES! 😦 WTF? I drove past the gas station this morning and 8 hours later the cost goes up 20 cents a gallon? Really? What happened to the days of 1 or 2 cent increases? I am so thankful I work from home but I find it insanity that I still have to put $30 in my tank weekly just to make the 16 miles round trip to see my boyfriend daily. At this point, I don’t care who the special forces have to kill to make this shit go down… I don’t care what trade agreement or world peace treaty we have to break… just kill the asshole already. Hell, I would kill him myself at this point. Just set his ass in front of my ECONOMY CAR. It will be worth the $4-$8 needed to get the job done.

6. I cancelled my cable this week. My bill is normally $88 for TV and internet. I was coming off promotion so my bill would have went up to $140 mo. They offered me a deal to keep both for $110 a month. I declined. So because I don’t bundle anymore, they added $35 on to the cost of internet only service. So my new bills for INTERNET ONLY will be $78. That’s only $10 less than my previous plan with cable TV. WTF? 😡 That’s stupid. But I don’t want to pay $20 more for TV so I guess I will have to do it… but if someone else offers me a better deal elsewhere? I am so freaking cutting off Mediacom’s balls. If James ever moves out, I will cancel altogether and use the one work pays for because this is just highway robbery…

7. Dear JCPEnney.com: Your shopping website blows. Your catalog policy blows. Your online payment system sucks ass. Your brick and mortar stores are stocked in such a completely ridiculous way. I hate you. 😡

8. Dear JoCarroll Energy: If the meter reader read my meter on the 25th, WHY can’t you post the damn bill sooner? I have money. I WANT to pay you for your services! POST THE FUCKING BILL! I don’t understand what the delay is! Your little meter reader person can actually move faster than your billing clerk’s fingers? That’s sad. She should be fired if that’s really the case. I can see that the meter was read already… enter the damn numbers already! Maybe you aren’t used to having someone who has their shit together and is able to pay you immediately but I AM! TAKE MY MONEY! PLEASE!!!!!

Okay… that’s it… I just exhausted myself bitching about shit I have absolutely no control over… because that’s how I roll… 🙄 Andy works all weekend so you know what that means ;)… definitely will post a blog and will be up for chat and possible late night pogo… be there or be square! 😛

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Comments
  1. Nate says:

    I SOOOOO don’t get the Steven Tyler love either!!!!! He is so gross!!!! And I LIKE OLDER MEN!!!!! I know he’s a rock icon and all but he gives me the heebie geebies!!!!

    Were you ever able to get your shoe order in at JCP? I finally got mine to go through that night but it took FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is what happens when you farm your programming out to the Phillipines, damn it!!!!

    Hey, lets plan a Spades tournament late night Saturday night! I’ll post a thread at EP. You in? We’ll set a start time of like midnight. Let me know!!!!!!!!

  2. Hilary says:

    Ha ha! I thought the EXACT.SAME.THING about Jacob Lusk! The ending close up shot of his face could have been a young Aretha Franklin, I swear! He really should be proud. He has GREAT skin!!!! 😉

    Gas at my corner gas station is $4.59 a gallon so quit your bitchin’! 😆

  3. K'nesha says:

    I think Jacob should be a gospel singer and minister. One of those cryin’ and healin’ ministers that travels around. He would be great at that!
    I heard that Pia got cut this week. I haven’t seen the show yet since I don’t have cable anymore either but I bet the judges wish they hadn’t wasted their save on Casey now.
    It’s funny how you want your bill from your energy company and I wish mine would just forget who I am at all. lmao

  4. Brenda says:

    Oh dear. James and Chelsea are at war I take it? Well, I know you have been patient yet frustrated for quite some time with him. Is he still taking his meds? All this irrationality makes me think he is not. Just stay calm, Renee. THIS TOO SHALL PASS. lol! (I just had to throw it in there somewhere… 😉 )

    I just can’t decide on a favorite this year on Idol. They are all so good! I think the judging panel is way too soft, thogh. You are right that Steven just tries to act very fatherly and offers no real criticisms to anyone. It’s somewhat disappointing.

    Bren

    PS: So happy you are feeling better! 🙂

  5. rick says:

    Glad to see your sassy ass is feeling better anyway. I would post more but I gotta get to work so I don’t have to take a second mortgage on my house to put fuel in my truck. Have a good weekend!

  6. Hi, I noticed you swung by my blog today – thanks for that!

    I love this post! I thought a hematoma was a ball game played in a stadium but you have completely put me straight about it being an illness.

    • Renee says:

      I know! Thank God for WebMD! I would never know anything without that nifty Symptom Checker thingie! It’s smarter than my doctor!

  7. P.S. You make a fabulous mouser serial killer! I don’t suppose you can work your magic round at my house could you?!

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