So I had a pretty freaking fabulous weekend. πŸ˜€

Andy was off Saturday night so he didn’t have to go to bed right away when he got home Saturday morning. I think he thought he was tired around noon and we went in to sleep and ended up talking for several hours. Before we knew it, it was 5:30pm! I *LOVE* THAT! πŸ˜‰

Oh! And I finally asked him about Whatsherface. He brought it up, not me! We were talking about all his failed relationships (lmao) and he brought her up (with minimal prodding on my part… πŸ˜‰ ). She was actually quite a scumbag when it comes right down to it. As we were talking, I kind of decided for myself that if he ever even entertained dumping me to get back with her then he was too stupid to even be worthy of dating me. πŸ˜›

Anyway, so he’s telling me what a douche this chick was to him. I asked him if her name was Shonda Whatsherface and he was like yeah… (open door…) So I told him she was showing up in my friend suggestions and I had noticed that she recently friended him and I was concerned. He said he didn’t tell me because I previously acted kind of weird about her. I wasn’t acting weird… I was concerned…

You all know me… I’m ALWAYS waiting for the other shoe to drop. Nothing good ever happens to me and I feel that when things are going well for me there is some kind of GOTCHA waiting around the corner. If it seems too good to be true, it is. And if something can go wrong, it will always go wrong for me… πŸ™„

In general, I am an extremely positive person… for everyone BUT myself. I have just had so many shitty things happen to me, especially when it comes to boys and men. So I tend to think something can go horrifically wrong at any moment because good things don’t happen to me with love. I know that’s stupid. I rationalize it because of my history… it becomes FACT if you use my history as a map for my success…

So, yeah… I was concerned… I know there are certain parts of me that are NOT what Andy was looking for… so that makes me insecure… πŸ™„

So I told him that I was worried that he was hiding it from me and that if there was nothing to hide then he would have said something… *crickets* He didn’t respond to that. I think he just saw not telling me as a way to avoid conflict. He’s a conflict avoider. I would rather if he was just up front with me from the get go on everything even if it causes a conflict, but he’s not that way. Luckily, we talk about EVERYTHING eventually and it opens doors for me to express my feelings EVENTUALLY.

And I did. And he said it was nothing… that he wasn’t hiding anything. And like I said, after hearing the story AGAIN on what a douchebag this chick was, I know without a doubt that I am better than her by FAR and if he ever thought about renewing anything with her then he would be an even bigger douchebag than she is. I am still concerned if he is still hiding his relationship status from everyone on his friends list but me but I don’t know for sure about that yet. If he is, I am definitely going to confront him about that because that’s just wrong… πŸ˜†

So, aaaaanywayyy… Saturday was a great day. Today, I woke up and spent a little time with him and then went and met Chelsea for breakfast in Savanna. Andy was tired so he didn’t go. I stopped in and visited with Joanne and then went back to Andy’s. We cleaned up the house together a little so that was VERY nice and almost a first for me! And he vacuumed the entire house while I sat on the couch! Then, he started copying some of my VHS home movies to DVDs for me.

This is how I know he is THE ONE for me… he sat there with me and watched a good portion of the first one hour tape. It showed Christmas of 1994. There were lots of shots of Tim in there. He didn’t even flinch ONCE. My ex-boyfriend would have been PISSED and never would have sat through that. Andy didn’t seem to care one bit. I LOVE THAT ABOUT HIM! He totally gets that I had an entire seperate life previously with Tim. He’s not jealous or avoiding it. He knows that the real story behind all those supposedly “happy” moments was pretty dark and dreary.

My mom was on that tape. I filmed a whole conversation she had with James about Power Rangers. It was so sweet! I was really fighting the urge to just bust out in tears during that… I miss her so much… and she looked so amazing in the video…

So after the first tape, we tried to do the second one… I have 5 or 6 tapes… and what do you think happened? Hmmm? Yep. My tape broke his VCR. It’s stuck in there. No matter what, I am always cursed… I always end up breaking something of his or ruining something… ALWAYS. πŸ™„ I am hoping he can free it without too much damage to the tape AND the VCR.

I think I still have a VCR in my attic to replace his. Those things are a dime a dozen. I can easily get one for $10 or less any day. But hopefully the one in my attic still works fine… and I hope I can recover the tape because it was for all of 1993. Chelsea would have only been a year old and James would have been 4. And Halloween is on that! YAY! πŸ˜‰

So after I broke the VCR and our VHS to DVD transfer session got cut short, he casually says that he is going to work on some videos for a while and that I should watch a movie or something. See? That’s the proper way to handle that situation! He’s learning, folks! πŸ˜€ I guess after that last “fight” (or whatever the hell it was) that we had over that whole “ignoring me” thing, he thought it over long enough to FINALLY understand how I think on that… And I was completely okay with that. He told me what he was going to do and I understood and amused myself!

I told you it was a good freaking weekend! πŸ˜€ Smilies EVERYWHERE!

So, now, it’s the end of the weekend and he is going back to work tonight. 😦 I am hoping this week goes faster than last week went… I am NOT looking forward to it… I can’t wait to get through this week and get to NEXT weekend… It is so great to always be so excited to spend time doing absolutely NOTHING with Andrew…

I know, I know… I’m making myself sick with all this sappiness… πŸ˜†

Don’t hate. πŸ˜›

  1. Nate says:

    Oh, and just FTR, I LUV YOU!!!!! You know I do. I just think you let a really important thing slip by with all your googly eyedness. I wouldn’t be a friend if I didn’t point out something that was very glaringly wrong. I don’t want you to beat me down later for not saying anything about it.

    • Renee says:

      I understand what you are saying, Nate. I do. But I am going to just play this by ear. I find that what we think and what Andy is thinking in the situation are usually 2 very different things. So I’m not going to sweat it. He loves me. I can see that. I’m sure he doesn’t mean anything malicious by it if he’s even really doing it. He just doesn’t get how things “look”…. or rather, he probably just doesn’t care how it looks… idk…. it will be okay… I don’t think he’s hiding anything deliberately… I know I have been wrong about this kind of stuff before but I don’t think I am this time. Besides, his current profile picture is of US so I doubt very much that it is because he is ashamed of me or anything… He has his own reasonings in his mind…

      • rick says:

        Listen up. You won’t hear me say this often. Men are stupid about women’s feelings. They just don’t think. I’m talkin heterosexual men. They don’t get how some things can hurt the women they love. They can’t help it. It’s the stupidity clause. Trust your gut, Renee. If it doesn’t seem like anything, it probably isn’t. He’s just not used to all this woman stuff is all. Like you said, he loves you and you know that. That’s all that matters. And don’t listen to the drag queen. πŸ˜›

  2. Hilary says:

    I had a great weekend too! Cable guy is sooooooo working OUT! Thanks for making me go out with him! LMAO! I never would have thought it. He’s not my type at all and yet I strangely wanted to rip his clothes off right there in the Denny’s we ate at! LMAO! New lover AND summer weather? O say it ain’t so! πŸ˜†

  3. Sarah & Al says:

    Sounds like a great lazy weekend for you! I am glad you enjoyed it!

    Al and I went to a very weird event on Rush Street Saturday night. I’ll tell you and everyone about it during chat in a few hours at EP. It was a Twilight Zone night. 😯

  4. Brenda says:

    What a wonderful weekend for you! I spent mine digging out old mulch from my walkway. 😦 Chad was not a happy camper especially since it rained for most of the weekend! We had to get it done, though. They are pouring the new sidewalks this week!

    I am happy to hear that you got the ex-girlfriend issue out of the way. Another thing to abolish from your worry list! πŸ˜‰ I completely understand the whole “waiting for the other shoe to drop”. I also did that for about 5 years after my first marriage ended.

    I think it has alot to do with what Lydia was talking about last week. You can’t end a marriage and live unscarred especially with emotional trauma. When you’ve been taken advantage of emotionally by someone who was supposed to love you and who you trusted with your life, it shakes the very core of your being and it can take years to rebuild that level of trust in others. So, you just tend to be on the look out for years and years for anything that could harm yourself.

    I thank God every day for bringing Chad in my life. He was very patient and understanding and went out of his way for the first 5 years of our relationship to make me feel special and loved unconditionally. Such a long journey! πŸ˜‰

    You’ll get there, dear. I think you have already come to realize that you deserve to have a good relationship again. Now, you just need to learn that you can actually trust Andy to take care of your heart. He seems to be stepping up to the plate for that. He just seems to be taking the long way around sometimes. Training helps! πŸ˜‰


    • Renee says:

      Thanks, Bren. It is so hard to learn to trust someone again. I often wonder if I ever will again… but I am trying to open myself up to it… but I still wonder… the scarring is pretty deep over here on this girl… 😦

  5. Ashleigh says:

    My mom transferred all our home videos to DVD, too. My dad was in them and it was so sad to see him but I am so happy we have those to remember him by. I hope you tape comes out of that darn VCR okay!

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