News and sex advice… what more do you need?

Posted: April 20, 2011 in Blogging to Blog, I got NOTHING!, Unwanted Advice, Useful Shit, Useless Shit, WTF is WRONG with you people!

I don’t have cable anymore so I don’t get to listen to regular news. I have to read all my news on the internet. And since I am a freak, I tend to be drawn to less traditional news sources, which can be amusing and scary all at once.

I see news headlines and stories from my untraditional news sources that scare the bejesus out of me! Others just make me laugh. Alot of times I read a headline but don’t read the story because some headlines tell the whole story anyway. For example:

Your Desk Job Is Probably Giving You Bowel Cancer – I freaking KNEW it!

Oil Prices Climb – No shit, Sherlock!

CEOs earn 343 times more than typical workers – They act like this is new news. 🙄

Is Sugar Toxic? – Of course it is! DUH! Don’t you know that everything that tastes good is BAD?

Hungover Surgeons Make More Mistakes: Study – Um… yeah… they needed a study to prove this…

America’s Toughest Sheriff lets you rate mugshots online – This is the most fun EVER!

Cheating husband froze to death in car after meeting lover for a secret tryst during snowstorm – Karma.

3 People Hospitalized in N.Y. After Smoking Incense – WHO smokes INCENSE?

Kara DioGuardi Reveals Date-Rape, Molestation Horror in New Memoir – As a victim of all this myself, I’m not trying to minimize her pain, but really… who the hell wants to read Kara’s memoir? She obviously is not liking being OUT of the spotlight…

I also have stopped buying magazines when I realized I could get all my relationship and make up tips COMPLETELY online!

15 Signs You’re Meant To Be – Got all but one! Yay! Loved this: “And if she’s not a classic beauty or your usual “type”? Even more reason to think she’s the one.” I’m so IN!

6 Surprising Things You Never Knew About Divorce – So true!

Top 10 Most Underrated Sex Acts – because this is a need to know… and just to be fair, we also have…

Top 10 Most Overrated Sex Acts – because we women need to know this stuff!

Simple Math: Friendship + Lust = Love – Awwww…

Phone Sex For Beginners – Always good to know…

Why Guys Hate Needy Women – Basically saying, “Renee, you are screwed!”

I find I tend to get distracted and on some kind of weird news path instead of the standard world peace and budget deficit type news. I am a self-confessed news junkie so… Thank God for the internet, eh? How would I be able to function? But it is definitely “different” when you have to find all your own news online. 😉

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Comments
  1. Nate says:

    94% get bowel cancer? Get outta town!!!!!!!!!!

    That can’t be right. If it was, people would be crapping all over the place and the adult diaper aisle at the drugstore would be WAAAAAYYY bigger!!!!!

    What’s the ONE sign you don’t have????? CURIOUS.

  2. Ashleigh says:

    Dude, I think that’s my brother on the mugshot website!

  3. Thomas says:

    I’m getting ready to cancel my cable. Is this what I will be stuck with? I’m getting depressed now. lol.

    • Renee says:

      Don’t be depressed, Tommy! When you finally take the plunge, email me or message me and I will send you my list of life saver websites! And you can usually find streaming morning show programs online. I wish Headline News streamed their broadcast 24 hours a day. Then, I would be good!

  4. Brenda says:

    I read most of my news online now and I, too, notice that they tend to sensationalize the headline wording they use. I guess that is to provoke you to click on their article as opposed to their competitor’s article. It works!

    I am also sick of hearing about celebrity bad childhoods. I can sympathize with their plights but it seems everyone had bad childhoods. It’s not a unique thing. The journey to recovery has been covered every which way. I have no desire to read about another celebrity getting over that. Lots of people go through that turmoil. I don’t need a celebrity “relating” with me over it.

    You probably shouldn’t get your relationship advice from the same online magazine that also tells you “Very Naughty Things to Do With Candy”. I think we do a much better job at giving you advice and all I ever do with candy is eat it. Doing something naughty with it sounds unsafe and wrought with germs.

    Bren

    • Renee says:

      You’re right. You guys give much better advice! I find the relationship advice online to be hilarious, though. (Like the candy article… 😆 )

      And the celebrity thing… don’t even get me started! 😆 I find that their way of handling such incredibly painful shit is so LAME! They always take the Zen approach. I think its all a sham because if they really went through all that stuff like I did, they would admit to being fucking pissed off for YEARS before finally telling yourself to quit feeling sorry for yourself and MAN UP! Makes my blood boil! 😡

  5. Hilary says:

    Have you read that Stacy Morrison book? My sister had it so I read it in the bathroom there (lmao!) and it’s a pretty good read!

    Now, I’m out of here! I am going to read “phone Sex for Beginners” since that may come in handy in the future. 🙂

    • Renee says:

      Be careful with the phone sex. I *HEARD* it can be addicting… I don’t know that for sure… I just *HEARD* that… 🙄 😆

  6. rick says:

    medical advice and phone sex for beginners in one blog? fuck yeah!

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