I’m Fat because I am Super Duper Efficient and Now I have Proof!

Posted: May 7, 2011 in Blogging to Blog, FLUFFY CHICKS ROCK!, Insanity is my Defense, So Happy that I'm Annoying Myself... STOP!, Useful Shit, You owe me big time!

Hell yes. I knew it! This ARTICLE on Yahoo Health just proves why I am fat. Why hadn’t I thought of this before?

I was multi-tasking when I did the crappy writing on this picture, too!

I am a massive, chronic multi-tasker. I am constantly doing more than one thing at a time. CONSTANTLY. Like right now, I am writing this blog, checking my etsy shop, and chatting on Facebook with Nate. And that’s an *easy* day! Most days, like during the week, I am fielding emails, doing artwork or crafting, figuring out my checkbook, catching up on American Idol, rearranging my bedroom, and trying to reconfigure someone’s budget, all while I am painting my toe nails. *THAT’S* a typical day for me. πŸ™„

Apparently, this is why I am so fat… and now, I have an article citing SEVERAL studies (not just one… SEVERAL…) that are backing this claim up. I am running with this!

This excuse is actually a very viable excuse for so many fuck ups in life, not just your fatness… I mean, who is going to get mad at you for working TOO HARD? Most employers welcome multi-taskers into their workplaces. And, look at that crappy picture I pulled off in 2 minutes while I wrote this blog, chatted with Nate, and checked the stats on my Etsy shop? I can explain away the crappiness because I was MULTI-TASKING!!! It couldn’t possibly be because I am just crappy at editing and it’s really hard to “write” on a picture with an imaginary marker controlled by your 2×3″ trackpad on your laptop. No. It was definitely because of multi-tasking… πŸ˜‰

I am a super awesome multi-tasker so therefore that is the reason for my plumpness and pretty much any other screw up I am doing or did or has yet to be done, thank you very much. Now, get off my fat ass about this! πŸ˜†

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Comments
  1. Nate says:

    That explains my skinniness. I like doing one thing at a time. πŸ˜›

  2. Sarah & Al says:

    I am stealing this article! Could be a life changer for me. πŸ˜‰ I, too, am a consumate multi-tasker. We should start a club! lol!

  3. Hilary says:

    I am going to print this out and give it to my boss. She will appreciate this validation! Whenever I tell her I am dieting, she always tells me that she doesn’t have time to diet! πŸ˜†

    • Renee says:

      Please. Spread the word. I am sure this is super secret spy shit that the government doesn’t want us to know… πŸ˜†

  4. rick says:

    shit. don’t believe this for a second. 1. Your ass doesn’t look fat to me and 2. what is my excuse? because I’m not a multi anything. I take things slow and easssss-ay.

  5. Brenda says:

    Ha! Well, as a obsessive compulsive person, I do tend to do too much at once.

    The way I maintain my weight is by making exercise one of the components for multi-tasking. For example, this morning I jumped on my elliptical while I read the newspaper. Later this afternoon, I will be walking my dog while I listen to my audio book. So that might be a cure for this affliction! Of course, I almost fell off the elliptical when I tried to turn the page in the newspaper, but there is risk to be had in everything you do! πŸ˜‰

    Bren

    • Renee says:

      See? And if you had fallen, you would have incurred medical costs and lost time and pain. Exercise seems too risky. πŸ˜›

  6. QuietlyOutspoken says:

    My life makes complete sense now! Thanks! :-}

  7. QuietlyOutspoken says:

    I posted this blog on my Enchanted Zaftig Facebook page. Hope you don’t mind!

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