How much aspartame can I drink without killing myself? Really.

Posted: May 18, 2011 in Are you TRYING to kill me?, Boys Suck!, Crack is Whack, I Suck at Life, Insanity is my Defense, Life In General, Stabbing People is Wrong.

First of all, anything posted in this particular blog I cannot be held responsible for because:

1. I have no cigarettes
2. I have no caffeine
3. I am overly tired
4. I am so bloated that I make Willy look gooood.

So this is a FREE PASS posting, people! Keep that in mind!

My mind has been a little jumbled and overwhelmed this past week. I have spent very little time online. I have been trying to semi-plan for Italy but still have not one thing packed. I can’t seem to concentrate. This must be what ADHD feels like… without the H. 🙄

Anyway, my first priority, and it is so obvious that of ALL the things on my to do list THIS is a PRIORITY!, is that I have spent 2 years buying all sorts of pink nailpolish and I cannot for the life of me find the perfect one for me! It’s very frustrating! I have about 15 bottles of pink nail polish. I went to test them today and realized that 5 of them were duplicates! 😯

So I want to take a light and a dark nail polish to Italy with me. The darks look pretty good but I always considered myself a light girl. (LMAO!) That’s the reason for my pink quest. Here are my choices below. This is driving me mad. Can SOMEONE please produce a perfect pink for an olive skinned Latino looking woman? PLEASE?

Sickness of buying Pinks (and the alternates)

This morning, Andy and I woke up at 3am after going to bed at 9:30pm (like we’re senior citizens). We just sat around drinking icky decaf coffee and making breakfast and talking. While we were talking, I told him he was my favorite person. Sweet, right? Well, I thought so, haters. 😛 So I said this but he didn’t say it back to me.

At the time, it really didn’t bother me. He doesn’t HAVE to say stupid corny stuff like that back. I don’t need validation or anything. Or do I? 😆 I mean, what if I’m not his favorite person? And if I’m not, who is? Do I even want to know? What if it’s Chuck Norris? Or the creepy little mute kid in Mad Max? He did just “like” the kid’s FB page after all…

Am I lame because my boyfriend is my favorite person? (Don’t answer that.) Maybe I should pick a less emotionally involved person as my favorite person. Like Guy Fieri. He’s my favorite Food Network host. He could be my favorite person. Except he’s kinda hyper. And he has that weird hair. And he doesn’t know I exist. And he pronounces his last name with a TEE in it and there is no TEE to be found! WTF? I need a nap.

Andy informed me last night, right after I poured myself a big glass of Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi, that I should stop drinking items with Aspartame in them. WTMLF???? I’m already at no caffeine and no cigarettes. I am ready to go on a murderous rampage, starting with the people at Caseys who prominently display ads for their “Caseydilla” yet I have never seen one there yet. Hel-lo???

If I can’t drink diet soda or tea with sweetener, I am dead. Water does nothing for me… It tastes like nothing. I don’t want to hear crap about how “refreshing” it is. It tastes like nothing! Are those little Crystal Light add ins made with aspartame? Maybe it would be easier to ask what ISN’T made with aspartame? I am going to die without aspartame. 😦

This is stressing me OUT! I need a CIGARETTE! 😡

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Comments
  1. Nate says:

    First off — CUTICLES????? They look ICKY!!!!!!!!! Nothing is looking good on those nails with THOSE cuticles!!! If I have to choose with the ugly cuticles, I’ll say sheer strawberry for light and sugar sugar for dark. GEEZUS!!!!!!!!!

    AND WTF?????????? I AM YOUR FAVORITE PERSON!!!! Say it now or I won’t be your friend anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😦 😦 😦

    • Renee says:

      I’m not saying your my favorite person after you clearly INSULTED my cuticles! APOLOGIZE TO MY CUTICLES! 😛

  2. Hilary says:

    Don’t you just love getting your nails did? 😀

    I like the Champagne. Actually, I like the OPI but it’s too dark to be considered “light”. For the dark, I would go with the Sugar Sugar or the Siren. Do one extreme to the other!

    I am so proud of you! Quitting smoking AND caffeine? I can’t live without my coffee!!! You are a brave woman because I know how much you love your coffee! How is it going? I haven’t gotten any collect calls to bail you out of jail yet, so it must be somewhat okay. 😉

  3. rick says:

    All your symptoms point to Shingles. That’s what my mom said so you’d better take her word for it.

  4. Thomas says:

    agreed! i go to caseys every day and wonder where the fuck that caseydilla is! fuckers! lol!

  5. Brenda says:

    Good job, Renee! You will feel so much better in a week or two, I promise! Have you looked into going all organic like we discussed on the phone? I’m going to send you some stuff on making the switch.

    Bloating doesn’t sound good. Have you tried any water pills? Or maybe some light jogging? That is what I do when that comes around and it just disappears!

    I haven’t worn nail polish in years so I have no idea what to tell you there. 😆 My best advice would be to go wth whatever makes you “feel” good.

    Some sodas are now made with Splenda. I’m not sure about the Crystal Light packets but I buy a generic version of those and it uses Splenda as well. Can you use Splenda instead of aspartame? I know it’s more expensive but it tastes alot better and is less chemically processed than the other artificial sweeteners.

    Bren

    • Renee says:

      I went to the store tonight. How is it that food grown WITHOUT all the fancy schmancy chemicals are 2x-3x MORE than the ones WITH? I don’t think I can afford to eat organic… It’s almost summer, though, so thankfully, I can at least get the chemically sprayed fresh veggies and fruits for cheaper.

      I did pick up some Splenda tonight as well. I haven’t done any research yet. I just haven’t had the energy. But I will get to it this weekend, hopefully.

      Unfortunately, with the bloating, I can’t take anything for it. I just need to ride it out. Exercising too much can actually be hazardous for my health issue so I can’t do that. The pain caused by the gas and bloat is very painful at some times.

      God, I’m so old. 😦

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