Okay… so I lied. I haven’t been on anymore than before and I haven’t approved comments and I haven’t returned messages or emails. DOH!

Well, my intention was there… I should get some points for that, eh? I fully intended to be online more. My body just seems to have a mind of its own of late and is NOT being cooperative!

I have just been chilling and taking it very easy since being home. Hell, it took me a week to upload my last pictures from the Italy trip! So I’m not just depriving my friends and family, but I also am depriving myself of all the fun, hobbyish things I do! I think the chillaxing has been very good for me, though. After spending two weeks of hell with my family, enjoying my stress free life seems so much more necessary now and way more fulfilling! I think I was taking my life for granted prior to my trip to Italy. So see? Something good did come from that trip! 😉

It took a little bit of new anguish to really see how special my life has become after so many years of pure nonsense and hell. I didn’t really fully realize it before, but I am happy. And not just ho hum regular happy… no… I am like freaking Hugh Hefner happy… like I could totally just lounge around in my silk smoking jacket and slippers all day long with a cheesy ass grin on my face and no worries.

I absolutely adore my life with Andrew right now. Everything seems so “Zen” compared to the usual chaos going on. We have spent alot of quiet time together lately, which I so very desperately needed. There’s no rush to get through whatever we are doing together… everything we do is always on a slow Southern style strolling timeclock… and I love that!

Many of you locals have known me for many years, so you know how my previous life a few years ago was… pure chaos, things happening constantly, 3 hour commuting days, various community activities and committees, a husband that only had two speeds – lazy or 100 mph, never enough time in a day. I remember being regularly told how great I seemed to handle all the stress of a busy schedule. lmao! Yeah… I handled that well… I freaked out and divorced my entire life! That hardly seems logical. 😆

But it was necessary… and I knew what I wanted, given the chance to start over again… and I have definitely found that in Andrew. I’m not trying to be all gushy or anything. It’s just a fact. Everything I thought I needed after my split with my ex-husband – all my essentials – I have found. I have a very quiet, unassuming life. I have a very low key partner in life… not someone who commands being the life of the party. I have someone who is really a manly man and proud to be that way and believes in being that way. My stress level is *zen* when I am with Andrew, which I *love*. I feel safe and secure and grounded when I am with him.

I guess I have just realized this past week how far I have come and I am kind of amazed. It is incredible that with all my mistakes and all my repressed anger from past wrongs done to me that I am now at a place of complete peace and happiness. My previous bitterness and hurt is completely gone. This may have been the journey I had to take to get to where I am now emotionally so now it all seems okay.

This is my new reality. This is my new life. I feel like I won the lottery. I totally stumbled into this… Actually… I tripped and stumbled and fell down a giant hill or two and then stubbed my toe three times… and then this found ME! I am so very grateful it found me, though! Thank God it found me! Because I really could not be more happy than I am right now in this very moment.

Life is good.

Life is really, really good. 🙂

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