My name is Renee and I am a Salad Bar binger…

Posted: July 1, 2011 in All-You-Can-Eat THIS!, Diabetes can fuck off, I Suck at Life, Insanity is my Defense, Lame excuses, My body hates me, Useful Shit, Wasted Efforts

Oh.My.Dear.Lord. and I’m not taking His name in vain… I’m really praying that my stomach doesn’t explode. 😕 Ugh!

I just about 2 hours ago ate a ton of healthy food… the most ever in one sitting in my life I think. I was in Clinton after yet another doctor office visit and was just aimlessly wandering around. I didn’t want to go home because Andy was sleeping and I was afraid I would do the same if I sat there long enough. So, I stayed in Clinton…

I went to the thrift shop. $1 Clothing! Hells yeah! Except I bought mostly for my Etsy shop 🙄 , which has more than enough unlisted inventory… don’t really need MORE… *sigh* Then I went to Kohls and looked around. They had nothing good. So I bought jewelry and a solar light for Andy’s porch because you know… they had nothing good. 😆 I was feeling a little nauseous and weak so I decided I probably needed to eat.

Hyvee has an all you can eat salad bar. In fact, they have all you can eat pizza, chinese, hot cafeteria food, AND salad bar! I figured I would eat there so I could eat healthy… right? 🙄 UGH!

I have never eaten so much salad and fruit in my freaking LIFE! WTF did I do to myself? I am going to be shitting green for a week! I am such a dumbass. WTH. Seriously. I had 1 plate of just taco salad. Another plate with cottage cheese, a regular salad, a piece of fish, and macaroni salad. And a THIRD plate of just fruit! I would have gotten a FOURTH plate with just Nachos if I hadn’t broke the nacho cheese machine, which was probably God’s little way of saying, “Reel it in, FATASS!!!” 😉

I think it was just a weird response I had due to me running into my nephew… I mean, my ex-nephew I guess 😦 … there at the big old Hyvee. (At least this is what I am going to use as my excuse.) I don’t know what it is about just randomly running into ex-family members. I always freeze up! I don’t know what to say or how to react. I’m always taking their lead and I try to keep myself at arm’s length. It’s really ridiculous because I still love everyone in my ex-family dearly, even if they don’t love me anymore. 😦 I should just be me…

I guess my fear is that some of these people don’t know me… not this me. They know the old me. The unhappy me. The me that had so much pent up frustration and anger that I became a robot zombie person and totally destroyed my own life so I could rebuild it again. 🙄 I finally (FINALLY!) have gotten rid of that bitch. Good riddance to her!

What I wish I could do when I see every ex-family member is to run up and hug them and find out everything that’s going on with them and all their family and how is life treating them and are they happy and… well, you get the idea… THAT is me, at least to the people I know and that truly know me and love me now. That is who I am NOW

This really overly cautious, unaffectionate, unnosy person isn’t me at all! I’m totally nosy! And I am touchy feely! 😆 (This is going to prompt Nate’s Stephen story about me now… 🙄 ) And I tend to throw caution to the wind!

But everytime I see an ex-family member, I freeze. I act like a guy. I’m all like, (lower voice 3 octaves) “Hey, man. Hows it hanging? Cool. Tell the family I said hi. Bye.” And I bolt… 😦

………(crickets chirping here)…………..

Uh… yeah. Pretty suave, huh? *sigh* FML

So the blood sugar thing is going pretty well. I think that 3 hour glucose test is a bunch of bullshit. I have been testing exactly like the doctor said: First thing in the morning and 2 hours after everytime I eat… and all my scores are normal for the last 2 days. I even tried to make it go off the charts by eating 4 chocolate chip cookies, tested 2 hrs later, score was 101. I think I just have to be under 140 after eating. My morning fasting number tends to be over the max of 100 but it’s minimal. This morning my fasting was 107.

I’m glad I didn’t start taking the blood sugar reducing meds that she prescribed. That could have made my blood sugars go way too low! Of course, it would have given me free license to do some crazy shit. 😈 I could possibly have murdered someone and gotten away with it… hmmmmmmm…

Thank goodness my new doctor has been *ON THIS* even though I haven’t even seen her yet! I’m already pretty freaking happy with her! 😀 She ordered some other blood test (so another trip to Freeport tomorrow. Yay!) that will give them an idea of how my blood sugar has averaged for the last 3 months. Well, duh! Why didn’t I get that one first! 😆

I’m not sweating the new eating plan, though, and even if I am cleared of the diabetic charges against me (your honor), I think I will still keep up the new eating plan. I also plan to start walking more again. hell, I did at least 10 miles a day in Italy. I think I can handle a 2-3 mile stroll a day… as long as I can find the time. 🙄

And, despite my insane salad bar binge tonight, I have been keeping things pretty reasonable at meal times. Snacks are what’s killing me but I’ll figure it out. I need to keep this up because even if the testing was wrong about me having diabetes, I am not stupid. I have so many risk factors for diabetes that it will be a miracle if I don’t ever develop it in some way. And diet and moderate exercise may be my miracle. 😉

So I need to get up way early for this test tomorrow so I can be done when Andy gets off work… so I need to quit blogging and get sleeping! 😛

Love to all of you! Hope you guys have a super awesome weekend planned for the Fourth of July! EPers don’t forget video chat Sunday night!

PEACE!!!

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Comments
  1. PUT DOWN THE FORK, FATTIE!!!!!! 😛

    I once ate a 5 pound watermelon ALONE and I puked for like 3 days!!!!!!!!! It DID have vodka in it tho so maybe that was why I was sick. LMAO!

    Since you called me out on it, I am purposely not going to tell the story about when you molested Stephen the VERY FIRST NIGHT you met him. Nope. I am NOT telling that one!!!!!!!!!!! Ho.

    Why would you EVER be someone you aren’t? What is WRONG with you? SNAP OUT OF IT!!!! Who cares what your ex-family thinks of you? Just do you, honey!!!!!!!! You are way too fab-u-lous to be hiding YOU!!!!!!!!!! 🙂

    LUVS U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Renee says:

      I didn’t molest him, ass. And we drank way too much wine that night. 😛 Besides, if *anyone* was going to “turn” Stephen, it would have been me. Think of it as me just making sure that he was really gay and committed to you! 😆

      Love you, Naters. 🙂

  2. Hilary says:

    😆 😆 😆

    Well it coulda been worse, Renee. Pigging out on salad and fruit isn’t such a bad thing. It tends to go right threw you!

    Did you enter all that in Fitday? Bwhahahahahahaha! 😆

    • Renee says:

      No kidding it goes right through you! And YES. I did try to enter it all into Fitday. What a mess my account there is… 😆

  3. sarah & al says:

    Looks like you are feeling a little better. Glad to see the glucose readings are showing norms. That test you are getting is an A1C test and it will definitely give you more insight. Hope it goes well. Good Luck!

    • Renee says:

      Hi, Sarah! Hope you and Al had a great 4th of July! My A1C came back at 5.1% which the doc said was normal! 😀 But she’s still making me go see a diabetic counselor 😦 because the chances of that changing are pretty high in the future… *sigh*

  4. Brenda says:

    I know how you feel about ex-family, dear. It is always an awkward situation to be in, especially when you don’t really know how they feel about you. But you can’t dwell on those things. You should just be true to yourself. You will never be a perfect person but you can be true to yourself. It’s all about being able to wake up, look in the mirror, and be happy with the person looking back at you. That’s all you can do.

    I am happy to see you are taking a proactive approach to the diabetes diagnosis. Even if they are wrong, I think it is always good to be proactively pursuing good health for the future. As you stated, you have some risk factors going into this. Maybe this false alarm was your wake up call!

    It sounds like the new doctor has definitely been on the ball with this. A good doctor can make all the difference in the world! I don’t know what I would do without mine!

    We are having the whole family over for the fourth so I’m not sure if I will be up for the video chat tomorrow night, but I will stop in if I have any energy left after cleaning the house! 😉

    Hope your holiday is wonderful, Renee!

    Bren

    • Renee says:

      Sorry we missed you on Sunday chat but I know how that goes… preparing for big family functions… I used to do that almost every Sunday night! 🙄 craziness.

      I do want to take a proactive approach. Definitely. I went low carb for years! I just am having a real hard time doing it NOW. I am trying though… Hoping to get some energy back in the next few weeks so I can start walking. That will probably help the high fasting numbers. Fingers crossed!

      You always know just what to say, Bren. Love you!

  5. rick says:

    Lowering your voice 3 octaves is kinda sexy. Maybe that’s just me.

  6. K'nesha says:

    U dint eat no chinese on the buffet? U are stronger than me, girl! 😀

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