Let’s jump right in, shall we?

It’s been a difficult week for me. Lots and lots of stress. And that’s bad. 😦

One thing about being married to Tim, especially those last 10 years, is that I learned very well (too well?) how to shut the fuck up when I’m pissed and let my emotions have time to settle down and evaluate situations rationally. I’m not saying I have ALWAYS done that, especially in the last 3 years, but it is something I excel at even though I lose my sanity from time to time…

Last night, Andrew and I went to the movies. He asked me last week if I wanted to go. He paid. He knew I was broke until this next payday. He messaged me on FB while I was at work about what time the movie started. I asked him if he wanted to eat at home or in Clinton after the movie. He said he just ate so we could eat in Clinton. Cool.

We went to the movie. Crazy Stupid Love. Ryan Gosling is still hot as hell and it was a cute movie despite the she-man Julianne Moore being in it. We had a great time and I think Andrew enjoyed the movie even though it is totally NOT his kind of movie.

Before we left for the movie, around 5:30pm, I was starving so I ate a little sandwich. Less than 200 calories so it was a snack. Just to hold me over through the movie. I had spoke to my Diabetes educator earlier in the day and she was wanting me to start nighttime insulin injections. I talked her out of that but I agreed to eat nothing after 10pm. That was a reasonable compromise. It’s only a little hard since I stay up until midnight at least most days.

So, anyway, I figured the movie would get out by 9pm and I would totally be able to eat by 10pm… right? No. Because after months of absence, Mr. Inconsiderate shows up all of a sudden. 😡

I ask Andrew after the movie where he is driving to… He says, “well… I thought we would just go home…” 😯 WTF? I am freaking STARVING! I sat through a whole movie NOT eating but having to smell my favorite food in the world MOVIE THEATER POPCORN! Ok. Fine.

But what pissed me off beyond belief… he says, “well, it’s 9:30. Do you want me to go through a drive through for you? I mean, I don’t have hardly any cash left…” 😐 😯 Seriously?

First of all, I never asked for you to pay for me. I was fully prepared to pay for BOTH of us to eat. That’s what we do, he pays for the movie. I pay to eat. Second of all, I know I’m fat (and yesterday I was feeling like a humungous cow and he already knew that) but I wasn’t planning on eating a smorgasbord of food. A nice salad at Village Inn would have been fine by me. AND I WOULD HAVE PAID FOR IT!

But, no. Instead, we went home and I had to cook myself a meal. I finally ate at 10:34pm and then I had to stay awake for another hour to test my blood sugar. All because he was not only inconsiderate but he was also RUDE! And on top of all that, this man whom I love dearly but really hurt my feelings ate 3 burritos in front of me when I ate!!! AND… AAANNNDDD… I know he ate even more burritos at 4am along with donuts! WTF???


Now, I didn’t say all this to him. My hormones are all wacky and he’s really lucky I didn’t reach into his chest cavity and rip his heart out and then cut him up in little pieces and distribute him all over Northern Illinois. I mean, I’m pregnant so I think I could get away with that on a justified basis. Pregnant girls, even fat ones like me, have to EAT! Instead, I sat quietly all the way home, crying to myself. He barely looked at me so he couldn’t tell I was crying or he was just ignoring the fact that I was crying. He never asked me if I was…

I thought I might flip on him when we got home. I’m sure he knew he did something but I’m also sure he is completely clueless as to what he did and how he implied something. He was being awfully lovey dovey when we got home but I was still so livid and still crying and trying to keep my shit together that I didn’t want anything to do with it. As I cooked, I talked myself down a bit and made a decision to just stfu and sleep on it. 🙄

So I woke up this morning and I felt better. Not alot better but better. I still haven’t said anything to him. I don’t know if I will. I think maybe my feelings are getting too easily hurt and I feel a little stupid for being so hurt by his comment. I mean, maybe this is just pregnancy insanity and I am overreacting. And it’s done now. 😦

In other news:

I have my last appointment with my current OB doctor today. Yep. You read that right. I am changing doctors again! So the current doc doesn’t need a second chance. I have done research on the THIRD doctor I will have and I feel pretty confident in the choice. The OB nurses at the hospital that Andrew spoke with all recommended him as well. I am hoping he will be a little more sympathetic to my fatness and give me a little more credit for my intelligence than this current doc.

Sara sent me a great book on Plus Size Pregnancies and it really has opened my eyes to things. I have been stressing because I feel like I’m not showing a baby bump but just getting fatter even though the scale hasn’t moved. The book kind of explained that I am not imagining things. I am showing but it’s a softer show since I do have fat on top of it. My organs have migrated upwards along with the fat that was around those to make room for my uterus which is why my upper abdomen is pooching out. The book didn’t say it like that. It was more scientific than that. But it made me feel better anyway. 🙂

Work has been KILLER this last week. I had to do all this special training for a new federal housing program. I always get picked for these special projects somehow. I’m not sure who decides these things… but I keep getting picked! And it always involves this intensive training, which is hard to concentrate on since I have been pregnant! 🙄

James started his new job this week and he seems to be okay with it, so that’s good. But Chelsea… she failed to tell me she needed all this stuff to get her financial aid and now she is in limbo on school, which doesn’t bother her one bit. I am fed up with her and she knows it so she is avoiding me. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want to go back to school. She would rather work full time and not worry about school. I’m not going to beg her. I understand that she makes damn good money at her job. It’s too tempting for her. She would much rather have money than the education. So I am in a holding pattern with her on that…

I am also in a holding pattern on the nursery. We need to get rid of the current bed in there and have Grandpa finish the electrical. I am going to look for curtains this weekend. Once I get curtains, I will pick the paint color and we should be able to start the basics. If Andrew peeps one time about money on this remodel, I am going to explode. It isn’t going to cost that much really and I am selling off inventory to finance it. So he should just shut it. 😆 Especially since I will ultimately be financing TWO nurseries… one at his house and one at mine…

So that’s about it for now. Just trying to keep my emotions in check and manage my ever disappearing waistline. Wish me luck on my appointment today! Or maybe you should be wishing my doctor luck… because I am in a no bullshit mood today! 😆


  1. OMG!!!!!!!!! STFU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Get a grip of yourself, lady! He’s a boy and boys suck. You knooooooooow that! 🙄

    Call me. But don’t call me until your testosterone kicks in pls.

  2. sarah & al says:

    FANTASTIC! So glad you received the book and have started reading it! I am so happy it is being read and appreciated. My sister loved that book and it really helps ease your mind, I’m sure! Yay! 😀

  3. Tom says:

    you went to the movies and didn’t eat popcorn? F-A-I-L!

  4. rick says:

    fuck him come marry me

  5. Ashleigh says:

    I hate when guys act all stupid when you know they aren’t. DUH! 😡

  6. Brenda says:

    I think the new doctor switch will be a good thing for you, dear. Maybe then you can stop all the confusion!

    You should know by now that men are really clueless sometimes. I don’t think Andy was purposely being inconsiderate. He was just being Mr. Practical. Unfortunately for him, pregnancy does not bode well for practicality. 😐 He’ll learn sooner or later. He did seem to realize that he did something wrong so that would be a good sign. 😉

    So sorry to hear about Chelsea but just as happy to hear about James. Young adults think they know everything so you may just need to let her figure things out on her own. You should just thank your lucky stars she is employed and she likes to work. Look how long it took for James to find work! 😆

    Go take a hot bath and just veg out from the stress for a few days. You need an emotion break.


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