Revelation #1: I don’t *have* to be fully naked to give birth. 🙄

I can hear you laughing now. But really. I see all these women on TV that give birth naked, and I admit that when I gave birth the first two times, I was completely naked at the end of it all other than that flimsy gown. I was talking to IRL bestie Jo about this and I have decided. I will NOT be fully naked during this birth.

First of all, Andrew works with all these people and I don’t want everyone seeing ALLLL the goods, know what I mean? To me, it’s bad enough that they all get to look at my vajayjay and my fat rolls… they aren’t seeing the twins. Second, is there some REASON for taking off your bra? Your boobs aren’t giving birth. And they are probably going to leak everywhere, right? I don’t remember if that happens exactly but I am imagining projectile milk. Blech!

Someone had better give me a good freaking scientific reason for taking off my bra or I won’t be doing it. Period.

Revelation #2: Let It Be.

After having to defend my ex-friend last week, I had a wave of nostalgia hit me, and I was going through a hormone swing at the same time. 🙄 Nate called me and we talked for a couple of hours and he finally snapped me out of that pathetic thinking. The problem when you are nostalgic is you only remember the good and not the bad. And Nate reminded me. And I’m thankful.

Because then I started analyzing (or over-analyzing… whatever…) my true feelings NOW about that whole mess. I think I had been hoping it was a temporary break and she would come to her senses about what went down. But then I realized that what’s done is done. It’s over. That chapter is closed. No need for tears or laughter. No need for any regrets. It is what it is. It is a bygone part of my life.

I wasn’t important enough to fight FOR, just AGAINST. And that’s okay now. I used to be hurt by that, but now I realize that that is who that person is. And that’s okay. It doesn’t really hurt me anymore. It just is what it is and who she is. I think I got a little weepy about it because I’m pregnant and we had discussed that alot together and I remembered that and kind of wished I could share this with her.

But what Nate made me realize is that, like I said, it’s done. We don’t need each other’s friendship or we wouldn’t have destroyed it, right? (I say “we” but Nate will argue with me on this… 😆 )So now I am just going to Let It Be.

It really makes me feel so much freer to just not carry that hurt or animosity or resentfulness or pain any longer. It’s a ton of bricks lifted off my heart. And it has made me much less stressed out and happier to have decided that in my heart now.


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Revelation #3: My Health Insurance is going to fuck me… twice.

So, I have to pay a $500 deductible for this year, and even though I will have this kid within 4 weeks of the new year, I will have to pay ANOTHER $500 deductible for next year! That just doesn’t seem fair!

PLUS, I will have to pay another $500 deductible for the baby. And 10% of all charges after that, which I know my 10% for the doctor alone will be $460… that’s if everything goes okay. So are ya doin’ the math???

That will be AT LEAST $1960 out of pocket and that’s before the hospital gets their 10% and does not count the test strips, needles, syringes, and insulin I will have to take before that time.

Oh… and my insurance will probably change December 1st, which will probably screw me even MORE! because, you know, it can’t be better… I’m sure it will be worse. Ridiculous! Fucking health insurance companies.

Andrew is very against Obamacare, but will that pay for all this??? Hmmm….

Revelation #4: Be Grateful for EVERYTHING, even the bad stuff.

I could lose my job at any moment. It’s a real possibility between industry changes and my ex-husband not taking care of his business as usual. I was very stressed about that this week. Then, I stood back and looked at the situation.

I absolutely love and adore my job. I may not like all the politics or corporate bullshit but I love what I do and i am very good at it. I am grateful that I have it. I have great pride in it. I help alot of people. Every day.

If I lost my job, I would be financially devastated. There would be no recovery without several miracles happening and we all know that isn’t how life works. So after I freaked out for 24 hours straight, I started to turn my frown upside down. 😛 😆

Losing my job would just mean that I could get rid of everything. EVERYTHING. And I would start fresh and new and without so many responsibilities or burdens. It wouldn’t be the end of the world. I have always worked and probably always will.

So job or no job, I will be grateful. Money isn’t everything. I have family who loves me and a man who really truly loves and cares for me. I have some amazing friends that cheer me on constantly. That is really all I need.

I am thankful for all of you. You have shaped the person that I am today. Not my job. It’s the relationships you have (and don’t have) that you should be thankful and grateful for, not your house or your car. Those could be gone tomorrow…


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So those were my random revelations for the day. Since work is so slow right now, I have way too much time on my hands to think! I had another one involving a skunk but I will save that for another post since I am tired and still irritated by that whole “situation”. 😆 Nate was NOT helpful on that one, let me tell you… and that’s why I am the MAN in our relationship. 😉

PEACE!!!

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Comments
  1. OMFG!!!! You have to be NAKED to give birth???? These are precisely the reasons why I did not become a medical tech like my family wanted me to. I don’t want to see hairy asses or shrivelled penises or saggy tits!!!!! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

    I LUUUVVVVVVVVVVV it when you say I’M RIGHT! 😀 😀 😀 Bbbbut, CORRECTION: You did NOT destroy that relationship, gurl! SHE DID! She yelled at you, swore at you, threw you under the bus with her husband, then blocked and deleted you!!!!! SHE DID IT! not you. So shut the hell up about that. And quit trying to take the blame. And quit being all “nostalgic”. HER LOSS, BABE!!!! You are gonna have a SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPEALIDOCIOUS baby and she doesn’t get to be a part of it. HER CHOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!! HER LOSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😡

  2. Hilary says:

    LOL! I’m not even touching #1! 😯

    Nate is a good guy when he wants to stop being that catty bitch! LOL! He seems to have given you great advice. Sometimes it is best to just let things go and stop looking back, ya know?

    I’m in the same sitch with my job. My industry seems to be lagging still. We keep getting these memos about cutting back costs. It’s scary! I am happy everytime I get paid. My brother has been out of work for 16 months. No fun. I am glad I have a job. I just wish the threat of possible job loss would disappear!

  3. Tom says:

    Money doesn’t buy happiness but it sure as hell helps! 😉

  4. sarah & al says:

    Super outlook, Renee! Looks like your hormones are working in your favor this week! 😉

  5. Brenda says:

    You had some good revelations this week!

    I also was fully naked for the birth of my children. If I remember correctly, I was so bloody hot that I couldn’t stand the clingy cotton hospital gowns they put me in and I ripped them off during labour. Your argument sounds rational to me. Hindsight. 😉

    I am very glad Nate was able to talk some sense into you. Must have been that night you tried to conference call me. He is right, tho. The past is the past. People leave your life for a reason. Your new chapters are being written and they are quite lovely! Let It Be, Indeed!

    My husband also rants on and on about the Obamacare nonsense. I don’t keep up with that since he is our financial manager here and we are all in relatively good health these days. I am very grateful that he has always worked for companies that provided us with excellent health care coverage. You should really speak with Andy about helping you with those medical bills, dear. You really can’t bear the cost of that all by yourself. I know you are reluctant to do that, but it may be necessary.

    I do not think your last “revelation” is really a revelation. You have always been a very grateful and gracious person. At least to me and to all of us at EP you have been. You always apologize well and compliment well! 😆 No, I believe you already knew that last one in your heart. It’s one of the things I love most about you. You are always very quick to be thankful for even the small things.

    Good thoughts! I hope you have a wonderful weekend! 😀

    Bren

  6. Sharon says:

    Great post! I agree with all of it!

    Life is too short!

  7. K'nesha says:

    R, I no whatcha sayin bout them doctor billz! I still owe the hospital for Sherica and she 3! Jus set up pymt plans. Docs r gud bout settin that up. An I let all sorts of shit be an it jus keep comin at me! I need a bat! LMFAO!

  8. Brandon says:

    WHOA! Chicks get naked to give birth? I am going into the medical field PRONTO!

  9. rick says:

    you are too smart. i hate smart chicks. i like the dumb ones who cant think deeply. stop it. jk jk

  10. Wanda says:

    Good post today!

    I think as we get older and wiser, we tend to realize what is important and what is not. It is called maturity. Some people get it and some don’t so feel lucky that you get it. 😉

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