okay… so I am a little irritable tonight…

I probably shouldn’t be posting anything, actually… Irritability makes me swear more. 🙄

I hate Mondays. They suck. Ass. Every idiot known to man comes out and about on Mondays… all the smart people just stay in bed. I’m convinced…

Oh… and I’m fucking pregnant… and I’m HUGE!


There’s that, too. Awesome.


Okay, so I work my ass off all day talking to people about really important SCHTUFF in their lives and I am stressed to the max when I get off. A friend offers to meet me for coffee tonight and pay for supper. I decline because my baby daddy said he was making me tacos. I was already running late, too. So I declined…

I get to said baby daddy’s house… and he is sleeping… and he has obviously ditched his plans to feed the big HUMUNGOUS pregnant woman carrying his HUNGRY unborn child!!! 😡

Seriously? You couldn’t send one 5 second message to me when you put the meat in the freezer? Really. Fucking Rude. That’s all I’m saying… it was rude… 😦


The new boss’s boss is coming in town soon and I was told today that I could drive in to meet her… that meeting would probably be like 1 hour… and then my boss wants me to work in whatever office I travel to that day… because apparently driving for 6-7 hours is ME time… 🙄


I hardly ever eat cereal… just too much sugar and nothingness for me… but lately, I have been craving Captain Crunch… so I bought a box and some fat free milk. Fine. Except I forgot how it tears the shit out of the top of your mouth while you are devouring it like you haven’t ate in 3 years. (Uh… Maybe that’s just me…) 😯

Anywhoooo… so I eat the sugar filled golden nuggets of glass and they tear up the roof of my mouth and my gums.

Did you know that when you are pregnant you produce ALOT more blood? And alot of it goes in your facial region? (Hence, the pregnancy “glow”) And that if you are stupid frigging idiot like me and brush your teeth after this foray into Children’s Cereal World your mouth will bleed like someone actually fed you glass and made you eat it like in Hobo with a Shotgun? Yeah. That’s what happens. Sick, huh?

Also, when you are pregnant, your precious unborn child gets to choose ANYWHERE he/she wants to go in your body pretty much and stake a claim and kick you like Pele in a championship soccer game when you do ANYTHING wrong. Wrong means 1. sleep on the “wrong side”, which changes regularly… or 2. retaining urine, which is a no-no… not even a teeny bit… or the little land czar will kick that right out of you!… or 3. not feed the glutton (but still precious…lol) fatty every hour on the hour! WTF?

This whole “plan” to only gain like 15 pounds is going to be OUT the window. And I’m not even enjoying it. In fact, I am kind of sick of eating… and having to prep food… and worrying about making my bladder completely empty every 15 minutes… and sleeping in the right position. SICK.OF.IT! Jesus… I have 12 weeks left… how am I going to do all this?


So I went to Pamida on Sunday. I was irritable then, too, because I am kind of tired… ALL THE TIME! I have stuff I need to get done! But I take one 5 minute walk through a store and I am exhausted and need a NAP! 🙄

Anyway…. so I go to Pamida… I generally don’t pay attention to other people when I shop or drive. I just don’t. I’m focused… BUT… on Sunday, I noticed that people were staring at me. Shit… the ones who casually knew me but don’t ever really speak to me actually looked TWICE! You know… one of those knee jerk second looks like “WTF??!!! She’s gained alot of weig… ooohhhh… WTF? Is that a BABY?”

Dude, I can SEE you face when you react like that… 🙄


Revelation of the week: Thank God John was a fucking rebound fling. Thank GOD! Thank God so many people have shown me their true colors since Tim and I split up. The last 3 years I think I have learned more about myself and others and loyalty and friendship and love that in the prior 38 years of my life. WTF was I thinking? Someone is looking out for me… someone loves me and is definitely looking out for me… 😀

Andy may piss me off about the little things from time to time… but he is the rock that always brings me back down to earth at the end of some pretty ferocious days. And he believes in being a real man all the time (hence the irrational mindless fuck ups…) and I can appreciate that after seeing that the alternative was a big pussy moocher loser. So there is something POSITIVE to look at, huh?

Let me bring you down a notch then… because it’s Monday… and if I ain’t happy, then none of you are leaving here happy either! Dammit! 😉

I essentially kicked James out on Friday. I have no idea where he is. He woke up bitching about having to go to work and not being able to pass the breathalyzer test because he partied all night. 🙄 THAT is all apparently someone else’s fault… not his… so he got pissy. And I said something smart ass, which he hates… but I’ve been doing it for 20+ years… whatever…

I am not accommodating his ass. So i told him to leave. He proceeded to act like a 6 year old. Like literally. calling me names, telling me he hates me, stomping around the house, pouting, complaining about how HIS feelings were hurt… I’m sorry… but my “Give A Damn” is completely freaking shattered. You are 22 years old. Not 6. I’m done dealing with it.

So I text my wonderful ex-husband Tim… who once again does not text me back (it’s been 3 fucking years, asshole… get over yourself 🙄 )… and tell him to get this kid out of my house… and James left and didn’t return.

I should probably be sad about this. I’m not. I am relieved. It’s time for Tim to take on the dad role for a while. I am too broken down to deal with it anymore. James will try to say it’s because I have a new family and he doesn’t matter anymore… but that is so far from true… Really. And Chelsea doesn’t see it that way and she’s the sane one… Sorry… but that’s just the truth of it.

I have given and given to that ungrateful little brat. Time for him to grow the fuck up. I love him but I can’t be around him if he is just going to feel sorry for his damn self all the time….

You all know my pet peeves… and that is one of them… 😐


Oh yeah… so I get this restricted call on my cell this week. I answer it because… well… because I have no one to hide from, I guess! 😆 So some chick says this: “This is the OB-GYN Department and we just wanted to know if you would like to get a flu shot.”


Uh… whuuuuut????

First of all, I have been to now 4 different OB-GYNs in the last 7 months. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? EXACTLY?

And, why is someone asking me this by phone randomly? I am a high risk fat old hag that is almost 7 months pregnant. Shouldn’t my doctor be asking me this? Shouldn’t my doctor be the one advising me on this? I don’t KNOW if I want a flu shot! Is that safe for ME in particular, given all my supposed health issues? What happens if I have a bad reaction to this damn shot? What then? What is the risk?

I was on the other line with a client and the woman from this mystery OB-GYN Department was so nonchalant and random… I just acted like I had no idea what she was talking about and then said NO… I do not want a flu shot. I left it at that and hung up.

But that really irks me that they call you randomly like that and don’t explain anything to you. Then, when you act like you are surprised and weirded out, they still act clueless and don’t offer up any other info… 🙄

No. No, I don’t believe I want that flu shot. Because if clueless bitches like you are going to give those shots to me, I am pretty sure I could possibly die from that shot… and if that’s impossible, then maybe you should have said that FIRST! 🙄

Some people…

Ha! 😆

It just occurred to me that “some people” could be ME! 😯 (to other people…)

Whatever. I’m awesome even when I’m irritable and crabby and enormously pregnant so…. Suck it!



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