I KNOW it’s been over a week.. I KNOW!!!

I have just been so busy doing… nothing… I feel like my days and nights and weekends and weekdays just seem to blur together! It’s all going by in a blur! And before I knew it, almost 2 weeks since my last posting passed! Sheesh! 🙄

The thing is… I have several posts that I have written… but none of them are complete! So I start writing a post and then become distracted by such inane things like feeding my infant son and pumping liquid gold from my breasts or bathing myself… stupid stuff like THAT! So then I abandon my writing and don’t get back to it because now I have ANOTHER idea for ANOTHER post that is never going to get finished either!

It’s a cycle! I *need* to break the cycle!!! 😕

So, like I said… I feel like I have been busy… days seem to just pass me by without me realizing it, though… I hate that I lose track of time like that. Andrew went back to work after almost 3 weeks off. I have been trying to get back on a routine of sorts but the nights have really screwed me up…

I am still maintaining my breast pumping for breast feeding but my pump is not strong enough to keep up. It’s very frustrating. Baby Sean eats more than I produce lately. I tried to replace one feeding with formula in middle of the night so I could try to get him to sleep longer… The result was him throwing up all day the next day…

Wtf! 😯

This is the same formula they fed him in the hospital so I don’t get why he had such a bad reaction to it… I bought some special formula yesterday for sensitive stomachs… I’ll have to try that and see if it works any better…

As for the breast pump issue, i am reluctant to make too big a deal about it because I know Andrew paid what he believes to be alot for the pump I have, but the bottom line is that the pump is shit and does not have enough suction. It takes me at least an hour to empty my breasts and even then I don’t think they are fully empty. This can result in lost production…

Andy double checks everything I say with every woman at the hospital (that’s a whole ‘nother issue right there! 🙄 ) so he has been questioning me about only pumping every 4-5 hours instead of every 3 hours, saying I am losing production because of that. I call bullshit though because I see women online who pump in the same intervals that get more production than me…

It’s the pump. I know this because I’m smart like that. 😉

I do feel kind of isolated and lonely right now… My one best friend Jo moved to the country so I haven’t seen her as much… I have to plan out my visits with her since I am on a pumping/breast feeding schedule. It’s too inconvenient to do it at her house… I went and visited my other best friend but she works and has so many visitors all the time. I hate to expose sean to too many people this early in the game…

My older kids are being horrible BRATS most of the time. James keeps making bad decisions but now he has decided to not tell me what he is doing about anything so I won’t “judge” him. The reality on that is that I’m not “judging” him, I’m TELLING him… that’s a wrong choice, buddy, and you know it! He hates being wrong and told what to do is all… The problem I have with that is that if he is going to make all these bad decisions without consulting me at all then I am not going to bail his ass out or fix anything for him in the future… I’m just not. He will have to live with any and all ramifications of his choices…

Chelsea is back in school but bitching every damn day of her life about it. 🙄 She cut her schedule at work and now her checks are too short to cover her expenses… but you know, Robert her loser boyfriend is still unemployed… 🙄 and not contributing anything to the household… She gets behind on school work and then has to do these marathon study sessions to catch up on time. She should be thanking God she has 2 online classes that even allow her to get past due like that… but, hey… you can’t complain about something that YOU cause… if you stay up until 4am every day playing farmville and stupid shit like that, then it’s your own damn fault! But, yeah… I’m just being judgmental by saying that… 🙄

I guess what this post is coming down to is that people are irritating the fuck out of me. 😡

I know. Revelation, huh? 😆

I only have 3 or so weeks left on my maternity leave. 😦 I really wish I would win the lotto so I didn’t have to work anymore. I love being home with Sean all the time… and I remember how hard it was to adjust when I started working again when I had James and Chelsea… Andrew may blow a gasket when that happens 🙄 … he’s been a bit selfish lately on how that is possibly going to go down… *sigh*

Petey is being taken care of at the house still but every few weeks Zach (my current housesitter) decides he is going to get a job far away and move. That’s when I hit panic mode looking for an alternative house/dog sitter. And then Zach will change his mind a week later. 🙄

And I *still* have problems finding someone to live in my house for free! WTF? I really just don’t get people… fuckers. So now I have decided that I can’t stay on this roller coaster with Zach. I need to find someone for the long term to stay in the house and take care of my dog.

I know you all are like, JUST GIVE THE DAMN DOG AWAY! But I love that dog. He’s my family. I don’t want to give him up and it’s my prerogative to pay for a house just to house my dog if I choose to… I wouldn’t even have to do this if Kiana hadn’t been such a bitch to him… And why do I have to give MY dog up? And my house? And everything? Andy doesn’t have to give up anything. And what would he have said if the tables were turned? He would have maintained his house NO MATTER WHAT for Kiana. That’s all I am doing with Petey…

I know it seems irrational to most people… but I assume those people don’t have pets… and hate their mothers… and have daddy issues… Just sayin’!

Okay, I’m just rambling now… 😛

I will look through all my unfinished posts and see what I *can* finish and try posting those this week. Hope everyone else is okay… I haven’t heard from Nate lately so if anyone sees him around, please tell him I am looking for him! Have a good week! 🙂


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