Well, I feel a little better today… barely… I’m not raging ass ghetto crazy mad at least… for now…

*sigh*

Maybe it’s my PMS coming back. šŸ˜†

(Don’t say it… I know I am the first one to cry foul when guys say this about gals like me and now here I am pawning it off as an excuse for my insanity… šŸ™„ I see the irony. I do.)

Aaaannnnnyway…

I have been keeping my cool. I did say something to Andrew the other night. Unfortunately, he played his “I’m speechless” routine. He uses that and then I feel bad like I blindsided him with my anger. But now that I have thought about it, that is such a bullshit deal…

First of all, he is just as smart, if not smarter than me. He can think on his feet, even if I was blindsiding him, which I wasn’t because he knew exactly what he was doing when he walked away the other night. He knew I was pissed. He’s not stupid. Duh.

Secondly, I think he uses that as a cop out because he just doesn’t know how to deal with emotions. I was crying when I told him I would rather if he just told me he disagreed with me instead of leaving me holding the bag. That probably made him uncomfortable so he used the speechless routine to not have to say anything. Still, I don’t know if he realizes that communication in a relationship is a necessity, not an option…

*sigh*

Oh well. At least I said something, right? šŸ™„

I’m still a little edgy though so it won’t take much for me to get back on the edge if something happens this week… Today he was complaining that his electric bill doubled and tried to say it was because we were running two computers. šŸ™„ Yeah. My laptop costs $60 a month to run… I think not… but I am sure that it doesn’t help that someone is here 24/7 now and we now run the washer and dryer almost every day.

That’s not my fault… he’s a clothes washing fool is all. He’ll wash tiny ass loads of clothes every day. I would rather wait til the end of the week and run like 2 or 3 large loads. But I’m not the one doing laundry… šŸ˜‰

Still, I understand his underlying point that I believe he was trying to subtly make. I live with him and I contribute nothing monetarily to run this household. I get that. All I do is buy the majority of the groceries. BUT… I am also the one who is paying $3307.95 in medical bills. Divide that by like 12 months and I look at it like I’m contributing $275.66 a month plus groceries so that should count for something… And I do have another whole household I am still paying for until I can get all my stuff out of it, which he hasn’t helped me do and hasn’t offered to move into that… so… šŸ˜›

I talked to the hospital today and yeah… I finally figured out all the medical bills and I owe between me and Sean are a total of $3307.95. I asked for a payment plan of $100 a month on the biggest portion… the hospital bill of almost $2000… and the chick was like, “I need $150.” And I was like, “I need perky boobs and the ability to eat whatever I want without weight gain… but I ain’t gonna get it…” So now she’s making me apply for financial aid. Lame.

I’m willing to pay the whole thing but it will be for a slightly longer time frame than they would like. How many people don’t make any payment arrangements at all? Alot. I know. That’s how I have a job because people don’t pay their bills and medical is a big one in this area. šŸ™„

I also did the kids’ FAFSA forms. My son who is having a baby irresponsibly will have his entire schooling paid for if he would just actually go to school and maintain a 2.8 GPA. My extremely responsible daughter will have nothing paid for because she worked her ass off at her job and did not have a baby at a young age. How screwed up is that?

Oh, and just when i was about to give up on my job, light at the end of the tunnel came shining down on me. I finally feel like I can salvage my career choice and stay employed. It’s been a rough road in my industry and I’m sure there are still tough times ahead but as long as I can keep my dedication to my clients in the forefront, I think I can make it work. I tell you what… I was really down about it… so not like me…

It’s tough when you are being beat down like a dog by people who you are supposed to be making look good. Thankfully, I now know my value exceeds the hater in my group. All I got to say is what comes around goes around… I am truly blessed to be employed in a job I absolutely love. The hater will get their due soon enough. I will not be helping that person ever again.

Okay, so that’s where I am at today. I have a blog post in the can on weird news stories recently that i will post in the next day or two. Unless, of course, I piss Andy off again and he leaves me stranded to fend for myself again… then it’s ON… again. šŸ˜†

Thanks for all the comments you all leave on both EP and wordpress. You don’t know how much value I put on the advice you all give me. And, to Rick: I do believe that was the sweetest compliment I have received in a long ass time. You are way to good to me, sir. šŸ˜‰

PEACE!!!

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