I was totally going to have a very awesome blog post tonight until *THIS* happened:

 

 

What the FRAK???

*Someone* (Andy) let this crabby butt sleep all day so now he is WIDE AWAKE! 😯

So now I can’t tell you all my fabulouso wedding plans… that I totally haven’t run by Andy yet… so I’m probably pipe dreaming it all anyways…

Oh… and I went to see my new grandbaby but we didn’t get to hold him. 😦

 

He’s still in that plexi box incubator thingy. But I hope to get down there next week and hopefully get to hold him then! Yay! 😀

There was another baby born on the same day as Paxton to one of James’ friends. The poor baby girl has a heart defect and will have to have a few surgeries to correct it. I feel bad for the baby girl. She’s a beautiful baby…

All these young kids having babies, though… *sigh*

Oh, don’t get me wrong… I shake my head at the fact that my own flesh and blood was stupid enough to get himself into this as well… In fact, I can pretty accurately now say that I am ashamed that he got himself into this and continues to make wrong choices for himself daily. Maybe he is my karma for being such a horrific teenager for my parents. 🙄

I think I am finally coming to the realization that I need to cut myself off from babying my first born son any more. There are only so many times you can tell someone how to get their shit together and be a stand up guy and they completely ignore you… At some point, I have to realize that he is going to do whatever he wants and he has no respect for me or even himself to do the right thing. And people like that need to be let go to go learn on their own.

I want to protect him. I want to guide him to the best life that I raised him to have. 😦

But he has to want that, too, and he obviously doesn’t. If he did, he would listen and he would TRY. Right?

This is a very solemn realization for me so it has been a very sad week for me.

And to top it all off, I had to start my revised work schedule this week and I had to relive Monday TWICE! 😯

And I have to start working weekends.

That blows.

 

 

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