Well, it’s all over. 😦 All the excitement and the adrenaline and the romance and the stress and the urge to rip people into teeny tiny shards… it’s all gone now…


I shouldn’t say the romance is gone. It’s still there. Surprisingly. 😉

Since I am old as dirt and since we have been together for 2 years AND because he has seen me in the same yoga pants and tee shirt for 3 days in a row with no make up on and no hairbrush in sight and overly bloated and being a raging lunatic, I never thought we would really be or act like “newlyweds”. But we do… it’s kind of strange and yet so enthralling all at the same time. Who knew?

I figured after the wedding, it was all downhill from there. But it really hasn’t been. I feel more in love than I ever have been. And I’m 42 years old. And I’m 50+ pounds overweight. And my hair is going grey. And my post-pregnancy pouch is ginormous… 😆 Yet everytime I see him, I melt. It also helps if he’s just in his underwear… or not… but you get what I’m saying…

So there was all sorts of drama surrounding the wedding. It all seems trivial now but I know if I would have posted during that time I would have gone off the deep end. I did post over at EP briefly before Nate reeled me in and told me to quit acting like an insane freak. WORD, sista. 🙂

So now I am calmer and can retell the catastrophes in a more sane way I believe…

I don’t think anyone should go into planning a wedding not expecting something to go wrong. I mean, really… it’s not realistic. And everyone KNOWS I’m a realist. I get stuff like that. 🙄

So here’s the shortlist of what went wrong:

1. My shitty ass unprofessional photographer AMBER KERKOVE of KERKOVE PHOTOGRAPHY ditched out of my wedding 6 days prior to the wedding. No I did not have a formal contract with her so forget all the emails telling me to sue her ass. She tried to make amends by asking her assistant to fill in. I love her assistant. I have no issues with her assistant personally. I know her and her family. However, it was the principal of the thing… so I had no professional photographer for my wedding… 😡

2. I had 89 RSVPs… 89 people that were supposed to have their asses in chairs and eating the food I bought them. 49 people showed I believe and I am probably being generous. I bought food for 100 people. WTF? So fucking rude… and it absolutely pissed me off to no end.

3. It was like a freaking tornado out when I walked down the aisle. And all that hair that everyone loves and admires and lusts after? Yeah, it was just flying all over the damn place… ugh! 😡

4. Deann couldn’t show up on time AGAIN so I had no one to greet my guests when they arrived for the ceremony. I told the woman 4PM! I mean, come on! I told her an hour prior and she still was late!

5. My father shows up at my wedding wearing jeans and a black tee shirt. 😯 Are you fucking kidding me? I’m your DAUGHTER! Do you not even know who I am as a person???? Must not because all of my friends know… you show up at my wedding in jeans, I will say something to you and it won’t necessarily be pleasant… and I did to everyone… including my dad…

6. I was very excited that some of my mother’s family from Oklahome RSVP’d to be there. I couldn’t wait to see them! They didn’t show. Hell, no one from her family even sent a card or gift! It was not only hurtful, but incredibly rude. I’m done with them.

7. I only listened to the music I planned to walk down the aisle to like 3 times before the ceremony. We did not have a dress rehearsal. It showed. 😐 I ended up walking down too soon and way too fast (because I was fending off the pending turbine winds…) so then we had to wait for 90 seconds of music to play while we all stood there looking around and I apologized profusely to the Pastor… Damn it!

8. 6 days before my wedding, Deann and I determined after a one hour session at her house laying on beds and using power tools, that the zipper on my dress was NOT going to go up. Ever.

9. The shoes I loved and so carefully researched for comfort were too big that day (foot shrinkage?) and hurt like a mother fucker! I used to run races in heels… what happened to me???

Ummm… I think that’s all… 😆

So let’s flip the switch, yo!

1. We have amazing family and friends who took so many wonderful and touching pictures of the wedding so we got all the most important shots.

2. The food was so freaking good that I had virtually NO leftovers. I was happy for that and proud that I made a good call on all the food from amazing vendors and friends.

3. The pictures were able to be editted so I could make my hair look halfway decent in the shots that meant the most to me so it’s all gooood. 😀

4. Deann showed up late but she was also the one who waited on my corn casserole to finish cooking at home and brought it to the Inn. Everyone loved that corn casserole!

5. My son walked me down the aisle and looked great and all my children and foster children dressed appropriately for the event, so my dad was the only one who looked like an ass and I could explain that to others by hinting at dementia… 😯 works for me!

6. I was disappointed in my mother’s family, but as I look back, I realize I got to spend very little time with anyone really and the most memorable parts of my wedding involved really only me and Andrew. It could have been just me and him and I would have been happy. 🙂

7. I fucked up the ceremony music… okay… but Andrew came through 1000% on the reception music. Our first dance song was perfect and it is my most memorable and precious event of the night… even if we do dance incredibly bad together…

8. Only in small town can you ask someone who knows someone’s brother in the next town whose wife does alterations if she can put a new zipper in a super important gown in one day and it happens without a hitch. It’s the only nice thing Deann’s mom has ever done for me, giving me that woman’s number… 😆

9. I’m still sad about the shoes. They looked so freaking HOT! *sigh* 😦

Overall, I feel like the wedding was beautiful. It was us 100% and no one else. The whole thing, screw ups and all, makes me feel happy giddy in my memory. I loved everything about it. It makes me teary eyed to remember it now, which is a good thing.

I never felt that way about my first wedding. Ever. That was more about everyone else. What everyone else wanted. And what was cheap. And what was proper. And what was expected since I was pregnant. It wasn’t about me or my fiance at the time. It wasn’t about our super romantic love for each other. Hell, I had just caught him in a major relationship/affair 2 months prior for Pete’s freaking sake!

Anyway, this wasn’t about any of that at all. And I really feel like even if no one showed – of course I would have been super hurt and pissed if that happened but “hypothetically”…- if no one had showed, I still would have had an amazing magical night just with Andrew and it all still would have been perfect.

Because I really feel now like the absolute only thing that mattered that night was me and him. Period.

As it should be….




Say what you mean, Mean what you say...

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