Something stupid I keep doing… Counting on ANYONE or ANYTHING — GAH! 😯

James called on Sunday and said he was coming up with Paxton. I waited all day. He never showed… 😦 Of course. He never does ANYTHING I really really want him to do. Ever. Whose kid is he? Really?

My car broke down on Saturday about 10 miles from my home. My new husband has no mechanical ability and we called his dad. His dad thought he fixed it but he didn’t and left so fast that we didn’t have a chance to tell him we were still stranded. Had to call someone else for a ride home AND pay $95 for a 10 mile tow. FML.

It took me 2 hours to check all the fluids in Big Red to be able to drive her this week. I tried calling my mechanic who wouldn’t answer his phone because his bipolar wife would then think he was fucking around on her. That’s why it took me 2 hours. I love Andrew but I wish he was a mechanic. 😆

I have a new boss at work. I initially was so excited and thrilled and full of hope. That quickly was quashed when I realized that his first impression of me was implanted in his brain by someone who doesn’t know me even a little bit. And he prejudged me based on that. Which fucking sucks. I’m pissed but even more than that, I am disappointed beyond belief. I need to either find a new job or win the lotto. Period.

Somethinmg is wrong with me. I can feel it. I don’t like feeling this down and… bitter… I think I am in this prolonged state of disappointment in others and it is making me bitter. I need to figure this out because there is no way in hell I am letting bitterness get the best of me.

This actually really pisses me off. Not sure at who or what or why… but it infuriates me that I am not in control of my life. I feel like I am manipulated and weak and pushed around far too much in my life lately. And I don’t like how the slow smoldering bitterness feels in the depths of my bones.

👿 Deep huh? 👿

But I’m serious. I need OUT of this funk.




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