The “I” Factor

Posted: November 11, 2012 in Awkward, Sucking It Up, Wasted Efforts

So, today, I asked Andrew what he wants to do about Christmas for our baby. His idea is this:

That’s great. I’m all for that. So I ask him if we can discuss what we are getting him. My husband says:

“I” am getting him those 4 things.

Okay. 😐

Forgive me. Maybe I am stupid. I was thinking WE, as equal parents and now life partners, would make these decisions together. You know… because we are married now… Plus, I figured we should discuss this now to set the precedent for what we are going to establish for this child’s lifetime.

My children from my previous marriage had a different upbringing than what I imagine would be acceptable to Andrew. This is going to sound excessive but my budget was always $1000 and the kids always got an equal amount of comparable gifts. I never spent the whole $1000 because Chelsea’s items were always way cheaper than James’. But, inevitably, each kid had at least 15 wrapped gifts a piece plus a majorly full stocking. Only one gift was from Santa and it was usually a mid range gift. We were obviously overcompensating for our shitty childhoods… 🙄

When I was a kid, my Christmases sucked. I always got stuff I “needed”. Stocking stuffers were socks and underwear. I got one gift I wanted. Maybe. I only remember truly 2 gifts I ever got that I loved. Maybe I am just an ungrateful brat. 😐 Andrew’s Christmases were the same or worse and he experienced alot of disappointment. But, while he was actually pretty poor as a child, he says he never really felt cheated. Of course.

Anyway… I assume based on ALLLLLL of THAT that we would meet somewhere in the middle… TOGETHER. But no. Apparently I am a freaking idiot for thinking this. When I pointed out to Andrew that we are now married and joint parents and I just assumed that we would plan our gift giving to our child together, he got all defensive and then did a girl thing. 🙄 He turned it around on me and said I was making it more complicated than it needed to be.

🙄 Really? 🙄

Here I am trying to compromise and be, you know, MARRIED 😯 and… W.T.F.!?

I really wanted to do this as a couple. It kind of breaks my heart that he is still thinking in terms of separateness. He’ll do his thing and I’m supposed to do mine. I don’t like that idea. I think it sucks. But my input isn’t valued apparently. At. All.


I thought this wasn’t a big deal. I figured I would just go with it. You know… Ok, fine, Mr. Insensitive Prick, I will just do my thing and you do yours. But, if I’m being honest, I’m pretty upset about this. 😦


Say what you mean, Mean what you say...

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