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Yes. I am. I know it “seems” like I dropped off the face of the earth, right? Yeah. No such luck for you, fools. πŸ˜‰

I’m sorry for the absence. I swear that it couldn’t be helped. I had the holidays to deal with. I switched positions at work and went through a 4 week training course. My last week of training involved a harrowing and traumatic trip to Houston. Then, I came home and promptly infected the whole household with malaria or something like it which threw me off any sustainable schedule for another week. Then I had to entertain my adult children who are both currently acting like 13 year old junior high school mean girls to EACH OTHER. πŸ™„

I’m tired just thinking about all the bullshit I have endured for the last few weeks… sheesh!

So let’s just jump right into the middle of this chaotic mess, shall we?

The new position is pretty awesome so far but I have been in training F-O-R-E-V-E-R. And because I was ill the first week I was supposed to start full on doing the job, I haven’t done it much yet. I will be jumping in feet first tomorrow morning. Oh joy!

I do training all the time in my company. I have decided that the best job to have in my company is actually in the training or instructional design departments… because you can totally not know what to do and admit that and get away with it… and you can say you are “training” a class but make them do group assignments for 2-3 hours at a time and not really be doing any actual “training”.

I’m not saying that I didn’t get good training. I think the training was excellent! However, I am saying that it seemed to be a pretty cushy job compared to what I have to do. Trainers have to field questions from their trainees about job processes all the time, but it seems that it is acceptable for them to say “I don’t know” and never really get the right answer. If I tried that with my clients for questions that I should know the answer to, they would lose faith in anything I had to say real quick and they tend to let you know that. Real quick. 😐

It was a good training, though. I am definitely way smarter than I was before I started it. I am still super relieved to be given the opportunity to change into a different department with completely new management. It is a breath of fresh air.

I still feel really guilty about being so relieved and happy because I talk to my former teammates and they are all still being brow beaten and demotivated on a daily basis. It hurts my heart to see them that way. 😦

I had to go to Houston for the last week of my training… I’ll save that experience for a separate post. It deserves that much. It was rather traumatic for me as a woman. 😯

When I got home from Houston, I was very tired. The hotel had a great bed with these incredible pillows (Sugar Land Drury Inn rocks!) but I would still wake up every morning exhausted. Must’ve been the whole sleeping in a strange place thing…

Anyway…

So I get home and go to work one day and promptly get sick. I won’t go into all the gory details but I was definitely having to make hard choices about whether to sit or stand in the bathroom. (Oh. Was that TMI? Hmmm.) It came on gradually but was super bad for about 24 hours straight. Then I felt fine.

Well, then, the Husband got sick. Same drill with him. After 24 hours, he seemed to greatly improve. Then, the baby had a few hours of some nausea which resulted in a few hours of mild puking. Nothing serious but I was a little freaked out anyway. I stayed up with him all night and he was okay the next day but I didn’t want the sitter’s house to get infected so I had to keep him home.

The Husband woke up the next day and said he felt sick again. Now, this is my super hot Husband… the one who watches his weight, works out, and generally is extremely handsome almost all the time… He was sickest the longest. Go figure. πŸ™„

And THIS is why all those stupid “studies” about heart disease and cancer are stupid. Health nut freaks can get just as sick and alot of timesΒ  sicker than the body abusing hard drinking fatties like me. So SUCK IT, beautiful people! πŸ˜›

Of course, it wasn’t the fact that he is of the MALE gender… Nah… the fact that he was sick for longer and in a worse way couldn’t possibly be because of that… *sigh*

So, after being sick and then dealing with a sick baby and Husband, I finally get a teeny minute to breathe… and then Chelsea shows up because *poof*

IT’S MY BABY’S FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!

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Can you believe it? A year ago, I was bitching and complaining about being bloated and fat and having stupid doctors. Now I just bitch about the bloating and being fat. πŸ˜› πŸ˜†

Thank God, Chelsea showed up with a cake because I had NOTHING planned for this major baby milestone. 😯 I know. Bad mommy.

But, yeah… the little guy is a year old… getting into everything, just starting to walk, yelling at us incoherently every chance he gets… I would like to think he’s yelling sweet nothings to us or thanking us for not being so inept that he died in the last year… But more than likely, he is yelling profanities at us and calling us stupid for not figuring out that he is not going to go to bed if he doesn’t have the right freaking socks on his feet… stupid mommy. 😑

As I said at the beginning, my two oldest children, who are 20 years old or older this year, have decided they hate each other like junior high school girls. Today, I had to listen to irrational arguments from my son on why I should understand and condone his hatred of his sister because she has a shitty, no good boyfriend and because she has never done anything for him ever and never would.

All of you who frequent my blog or who personally know me, know this much about me: my one personal pet peeve in LIFE is PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT HONEST WITH THEMSELVES. That is my son. My first born son who I raised to be President of the United States (or at least some fledgling start up, for Pete’s Freaking Sakes!) cannot for the life of him be honest with HIMSELF.

My greatest fear with him is… um…. remember that weirdo shrink woman I went to for marriage counseling during my separation from my husband? Remember what she said to me? Let me refresh your memory… she was the one who told me that even though my ex-husband was clearly pathologically lying that it was okay because he truly believed his lies. 😯 Yeah. That bitch.

Anyway, my greatest fear with my first born son is THAT. That he is to the point that he is lying to himself to reinvent the past and he completely BELIEVES his own lies, which pretty much just rewrites history.

Don’t we all wish we could do that? Don’t we all wish we could just SAY that we NEVER have been wrong? That we NEVER were mean to anyone EVER? That we were NEVER a douchebag tool EVER?

It would be nice, eh? But, really… that kind of life to me sounds like you are a pretty boring ass person if that is true. I think it’s also hard to be truly grateful for all the good things in your life if you have never been wrong or douchey or embarrassed, or if you have never hurt someone intentionally or unintentionally.

I’m not saying that there aren’t people out there who aren’t really sweet, nice people who really try hard to never do anything wrong. I’m just saying that almost everyone has something they wish they could lie away in their past but most of us can’t/don’t/won’t do that.

My son does. And it’s irrational. And I feel bad for him… and for his sister, who really does love him even though he says he hates her… I think the clue to seeing it is when he uses the words NEVER and EVER. It’s pretty rare for NEVER to happen in anything, I think. For example, he likes to say that I have NEVER done anything for him. EVER. πŸ™„ See what I mean? 😑 Grrrr!

Okay, that’s the post for tonight. I want to post about New Year’s Resolutions (which I have yet to start 😐 — shut up) and my trip to Hell with 4 women… I’ll see what I can do to get those in the can. Until then…

PEACE!!!

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