I have a whirlwind of stuff I would like to talk about but I doubt I will hit it all. Here’s the short list… let’s see how many I hit:

  • My 42 year old dieting fat ass – new strategy
  • All the smack talk because of that stupid Yahoo! CEO bitch
  • Surviving 20 years. Meh.
  • My new tablet. Yessssss!
  • My new Bodyfit thingie. Yesssssssssssssss! Maybe.

Okay. Go.

So, I had been doing my usual diet strategy. And it was NOT working. At all. Period.

I don’t know what happened. Maybe it’s my age. Maybe it’s because I quit smoking (mostly). Maybe my hormones are holding me up. Maybe it’s bloat. Maybe I’m just being punished. Maybe it’s the fact that I had a baby at age 42 and totally should not have. Maybe it’s karma for calling someone else fat 30 years ago. Who the fuck knows!?

All I know is that my past strategy is kaput. I am ditching it. I hate that. Alot. It worked so well! For the newbies ’round these parts… my old strategy was to only eat when I was hungry and only until I was no longer hungry. But I could eat anything. I could have a couple of bites of a candy bar if I wanted. I could have ice cream if I wanted. But only if my stomach was growling. I had to be actually hungry.

And it worked! I lost 60 pounds on that. And it was easy! Like, seriously… easy peasey… so much so that I thought I had happened upon a true miracle diet! šŸ˜† My whole philosophy was that I could do the whole gastric bypass diet without getting the surgery. And I was right, just so you know… Anyone can do the same damn thing if you just wrap your mind around it and be completely honest with yourself all the time.

Maybe that’s my whole problem. Back then, I was going through a major philosophical life change so being brutally honest with myself was something I was practicing non-stop…. Eh…. fuck that…. I am still brutally honest with myself every day all day. šŸ™„ That’s not it.

So, anyway… I have decided to become super strict… which is so not me… and really fucking sucks… but I have to do something! This extra weight since the baby is killing me. I feel like a fat slob all the time. The extra weight around my belly is extremely freaking dry, so when I say I am “just itching” to get the extra weight off, I am so not kidding. I feel ugly and really old. My “arthritis” (because I am totally self diagnosing myself to avoid my new $1000 deductible) is literally KILLING me slowly and I am sure that the extra weight makes that even worse. UGH!

So, new rules for me… and I am completely making them up as I go. And, no, they probably won’t be sane or nutritionally balanced or anything too “move more, eat less”. Nope. I don’t do traditional generally. Well, I should rephrase… traditional doesn’t like me. So I spent my day cooking up some goodies:



For the first time ever, I am actually going to do calorie restriction. šŸ™„ I know, I know! I have always been dead set against this, but I feel like I am in such a rut that I am in an extreme situation so it calls for an extreme approach. I know millions of women calorie restrict daily. I have not. When I lost this 60 pounds four years ago, I did not count calories. Ever. I did log my food but it was not for calorie counts… it was to be sure I didn’t go apeshit crazy on carbs.

But here I am… actually saying this OUT LOUD… I will be food logging/calorie counting. I will also start exercising in small bits daily. I know I complain about these “arthritic” pains and ya’ll LAUGH AND LAUGH but… really… for real, dude… I actually have been waking up in middle of the night because the ache in my hands and arms and feet can be so overwhelming. This is an all day and night thing so exercising has been a challenge. I just figure that I haven’t exercised hardly ever so even if I start slow, it’s better than what I was doing before, right? šŸ˜‰

So, I just realized that WordPress did not save anything and it made me lose the last half of this post. Bastards. I’ll try to remember what I can but it’s late now…

To log all my exercise, I just ordered a Bodymedia FIT LINK Armband. I am super excited about getting it so I hope shipping doesn’t take forever. Considering how much shipping was, they could have sent it by US Mail just fine and I would have gotten it in 3 days… Anyway, this contraption is supposed to log all my activity all day… no way to cheat… just wear it and it does the rest.

I started out looking for heart rate monitors that did not have a chest strap… because I’m a big girl and how do I know the chest strap will even fit me? And if it doesn’t, I really don’t need that total wreckage of confidence. I know I’m fat… the rubber band around my chest would probably just create another roll. No, thank you.

So I did a web search for heart monitors for fat chicks… and I stumbled on the Bodymedia products. The Amazon.com reviews were pretty good overall. This will be great motivation to tell me daily to get off my super fat ass and MOVE! šŸ™‚

So I guess I am selling out and doing the whole Move More, Eat Less thing. Damn it! I’m turning into a drone as I speak! Shit! So much for my rebel rep… šŸ˜›

I guess I will save the rest of the list for later since WordPress lost half my post. I hope everyone has a wonderful week!



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