“Where the EFF are yooooouuuuuuu????”

Posted: August 13, 2013 in I am an Emotional Trainwreck., Lame excuses, Laying Low, Luh-OOO-sers!, Stabbing People is Wrong., Sucking It Up

…so said Nate…

I’m here! I’m still alive! I did not get hit by a bus… But I sure feel like it.

So, as you all know, my beloved home was completely trashed by my former renters. I have spent every second of free time fixing that place up. Like, literally. Every. Second.

My poor husband hasn’t seen me in two months. I’d probably feel more bad about that if he was handier. πŸ˜† Alas, he is not… But he does wash a mean load of laundry… And he is the most awesome father to my little one… So if he can’t hammer a nail, I’m okay with that…

(Plus… Have you ever seen my husband? Super hot… Just sayin’…)

So THAT is where the EFF I have been. Covered in paint, caulk, spider webs, and dirt. Fun times.

Despite the sarcasm, it actually has been a very emotionally trying time in my life. And I feel almost like when I went through my divorce. I feel like I’ve really learned some life changing lessons and I’m a little bit wiser now. I am a different person than I was two months ago as a result.

The number one lesson I have learned so far is that people are EXACTLY who they appear to be. Making excuses for other people’s shitty behavior or telling yourself someone didn’t mean to be a shitty person is wrong. You are wrong. When people show you that they suck, they suck. Period.

Lesson two: I’m not Jesus. I’m all for the Golden Rule… But I believe that there is somewhere in the Bible where it says that even if someone treats you badly time and time again you should still continue to treat them well. Yeah. I can’t do that.

Look, if you are my friend, I expect nothing more from you than I would do for you. And I can usually forgive an occasional fuck up. But… When I am having a break down and unable to pull myself up, I need your friendship more than ever. Like really. Ever. Like, come help me for two damn seconds! I fucking need you!

I would never abandon a friend who is going through a crisis. I may not be very helpful… But I would never abandon you. Period. And I was abandoned.

Someone told me they would help me. They couldn’t do it as scheduled. Rescheduled. Then just completely blew me off… No phone call, no text, no nothing… Then I did the whole benefit of a doubt thing and messaged this person to see if maybe we could touch bases and just forget all that mess and she said she was busy and never spoke to me again.

I’m sure she just thinks I was trying to take advantage of her and only wanted to use her for the help I needed. But, you know what? You can’t “use” real friends. Real friends recognize when you need help and give what they can. They don’t just disappear.

I would never disappear. If you ask me for help, I will help you. If I promise you that I will help you, I will be there to do it. If you are having a complete break down and acting like a crazy lunatic bitch, I will be there to slap the silly out of you and provide you with some emotional support and help build your ass back up.

That’s me. I learned it is not what other people do. And, to be honest, I am at a point in my life where I just don’t want to be “friends” with people like that. Someone who is my friend won’t do that… Just as I would never do that to them.

Third lesson was actually a very pleasant surprise: There are still absolutely good people in this world. For example, when I first started this challenge, I was freaking the hell out. Out of the blue, I received a message from an acquaintance of mine that offered to come help me clean up. This person didn’t have to offer her help… On her only day off… To someone she barely knew… But she did. And I don’t think I will ever forget it.

I’ve still been somewhat fighting with my dad and he’s caught up in his own little world. My kids have been pretty good about helping but they both have jobs and live out of town so they had limited time… And now they are sick of helping me. We already established that my husband is not handy in any way. So I have been doing everything completely and utterly alone.

It has been very depressing and lonely and devastating to me personally. But… I have had two people come to my rescue who have helped me and my emotional well being more than they will ever know… My husbands uncle and one of my ex-husbands best friends…

My husbands uncle helped advise me and showed me how to do new things without burning my house down. He even did some of the work for me when I really got in over my head. The new skills he taught me were an amazing gift to me and actually spurred my soul to claw its way slowly from the depths of hell I was wallowing in.

When my ex-husbands best friend contacted me on Facebook, I was really just starting to breakdown again after dealing with a bunch of unreliable contractors. I had been spending ALOT of time alone at the house and just generally feeling sorry for myself and pathetic.

I basically called this guy and BEGGED him to come spend a day with me. So pathetic. πŸ˜† I didn’t even care if he did anything. I just needed some company! Well, he walked in and took over! And I am so completely thankful! I’m tearing up just thinking about it… Such a sap… Or hot mess. Whatever.

When he came in the second weekend, I was sitting on the edge of my tub getting ready to freak out internally. He just walks in, says “are you OK?”, sees I’m not, and tells me to get out. He will take care if it. Then he completely demolished my bathroom floor. πŸ˜†

And when I was contemplating having to call my 5th plumber to find an elusive clog, he is the one who said he didn’t want me to spend the money and spent an entire day covered in black sludge finding and clearing a clog that a high priced plumber with fancy equipment could not find.

He saved my ass on that one but I think my best compliment for him is that he gives me balls to take on any project. I am so much more confident with him helping me. I cannot thank him and his extremely patient fiance enough. He is truly a great person and they are the type of people I want to have as friends.

Thanks to him, I am almost done with the house entirely! And yes, I will definitely share pictures when its done because I am super proud of all the work me, my children, my husbands uncle, and my ex-husbands best friend πŸ˜† have done. I love my house again and these people loved me enough to make it happen.

It has been very trying, very emotional, and super duper stressful. But now I am glad it happened. It showed me the truth about some people in my life and it still gave me hope and positivity for the new people brought into my life. I wouldn’t wish the journey on anyone else, though. πŸ˜‰

So, new pictures soon and I will also be updating my daddy drama and I have good news on my kids’ front… Lots of changes and growth going on… But its like 2am… So ttyl!

PEACE!

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