So I started low carbing again on February 2nd. It’s been two weeks. I told myself that I would give myself about one month to pull myself together to make any adjustments and whatnot.

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Using the basic principles of low carb, high fat, I have lost…

(Drum Roll, Please…)

13.8 pounds!

Not too shabby. I’m not overly excited. I lost 12 pounds the first week, which was probably a shit ton of water weight. I didn’t lose anything this week until I upped my fat intake and lowered my protein intake and now I am finally down the 1.8 pounds this week. I am hoping this week goes better than that.

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I’m not trying to lose weight super quick but who the hell doesn’t like to see two pounds a week gone? I mean, honestly… I wish I could do that all the time. But I know it just is not realistic for me so I am not planning on counting on it.

In past years, I would always aim for a 30 pound weight loss per year. I did that for 2 years in a row. Then I got all happy and snuggly and pregnant and married. I know, right? WTF was I thinking?

Well, it has just crept right the hell back up there… 😡 So, now I am back at it… and am overly anxious to just get to the point I was when I started dating my husband again. Which was still morbidly obese but better than where I am at now!

I will say that I was taken aback by the weight loss I have had. I don’t know how much your body stores of water or where it stores it at but I wear a Bodymedia armband and it fell off one morning when I got out of bed. When I put it back on, it fell right off again. I finally figured out that I had to tighten it because it was too big at the adjustment I had it at. That was a good feeling… 😀

Right now, my goal is just to get back to the dating weight. Then my goal will be to hit the mark that my driver’s license says. Then, my goal will be to get one pound under the weight I was as a high school senior. I was heavier than your average teenager but I was fucking HAWT back in the day… from there, I will have to make some decisions…

Look at those legs! Sex-ay!

I haven’t really said much to anyone in real life about doing this. My grandmother-in-law knows and tells me to eat fruits and vegetables please… And my husband knows but acts like he doesn’t and keeps eating all of my “diet” food…He’s going to be disappointed this week because I bought a bunch of salad stuff. 😆

I suddenly see I have a whole group of friends and acquaintances that are all undergoing bariatric surgery. That is so discouraging to me. My insurance company sucks and my maximum out of pocket costs are high. I can’t afford to take $5000 from my budget to pay for a surgery that would force me to eat low carb! *sigh*

Aaaanywaaayy…

The big news on the home front is that my daughter’s new boyfriend, who we thought was great, dumped her. 😦 Then, we found out he was basically controlling her and being manipulative, passive aggressive, and just plain nutso. She was so heart broken. And the asshole kept posting pictures of him and the girl he had dumped her for and saying how beautiful the girl was. And then his family members liked all the posts. How low class on all of their parts.

Chelsea did nothing wrong. She did whatever he asked. She changed anything she could about herself. She felt his family really liked her. They must have… they added her to their I-Pass account so she could visit anytime. In the process of all of this, she stopped talking to all her family and friends on a regular basis. She would clam up anytime anyone tried to find out anything about what was going on with her.

She was trying to be a perfect girlfriend… and he made her feel like she was always lacking. He never once posted a picture on his facebook of the two of them together. He was always cold and fake when around her family and friends. He was always cocky. He would always criticize Chelsea on the way she talked or her thought processes… things that we as her family loved about her…

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It has been a few days now and she has reconnected with friends. She is opening up more as she comes out of the fog and sees him for who he truly is. I am just hoping he stays away and gives her a chance to find someone better, someone normal, someone sane. She deserves that. He keeps trying to string her along… but I think she’s starting to realize he’s just a cowardly douchebag. Fingers crossed!

I spoke to my brother yesterday and found out he talks to my father once or twice a week. I haven’t heard from him since the last conversation I told you about… *sigh* It’s okay. I, like my daughter, am slowly coming out of the fog my mind created of the father figure I never had to really begin with. It will be okay.

I spent my Saturday trying to convert home VCR tapes that are 20 years old to DVD. They have to play while the DVD recorder records. So many happy, happy memories. I know some of them are somewhat tainted by the fact that my ex-husband was already cheating on me in some of them, but regardless, I still see happy, contented people in all the videos, including myself. 🙂 The kids were all so cute and innocent. There were videos of all my past and present family members and it made me remember how very much I loved that family. There was even one video taken before my mom ever got sick where she is joking around with me at my Grandmother’s in Oklahoma. I am so freaking grateful that we had that video camera!

Chelsea was here while I was watching the home videos. Andy stayed out of the room. I don’t think they make him uncomfortable but I’m sure seeing his wife’s former married life is not a number one priority for him. I am very blessed that he has never been crazy jealous about my past life. My prior boyfriend was and it is impossible to erase 20 years from your life so duh. (He was a freaking idiot.)

So, I am watching these with my daughter and she’s telling me about issues people have in advanced old age (CNA talk). Then she basically tells me that I need to be DNR (a “Do Not Resuscitate” order) if I am over 80… and that’s just how it is… I’m going to a home and it will be DNR if I have any health issues… because she is not going to allow me to be bed ridden with lesions and shitting myself. I don’t know whether to be grateful or pissed off.

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Chelsea can kiss my ass!

PEACE!

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