Archive for the ‘Blogging to Blog’ Category

Wow. Just wow. I can’t believe it has been over a year since my last post here! Can you believe it??? I mean, I was a pretty faithful poster!

Thank you to everyone who sent me messages wondering where the hell I have been and what the fuck have I been doing? (Nate mostly on the latter.) Well, what I have been doing is living PEACEFULLY. COURAGEOUSLY. GRACIOUSLY.

Yeah. That’s my answer.

Oooooohhhhh, you nosy people need details??? Hahahahahahaha!!!!

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But, really, I know you do. That’s why you are some of my favorite people on Earth… I’m nosy like that, too.

The biggest thing I have been doing these last almost 18 months is living HAPPY!!!! You know, I started my blog originally way back in like 2007 on the good ol’ Myspace, I believe. It was started out of a bad emotional place and just escalated from there, but it was my journey through my midlife crisis. All of everyone witnessed the trainwreck that was me! All of everyone also was able to see me come out of it… and flourish… and overcome my worst enemy of all: Myself.

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Around the time of my last post, I decided that it was time to stop worrying so damn much about every single thing. I never thought of myself as a worrier butย  I TOTALLY AMย ! That’s why everything everyone else said or did to me or near me (or not even near me) made me so pissed… or cryie (not a word, but you know what I mean)… or sentimental… or just crazy…

I also realized that not every topic in life requires my opinion. There are some things that I should just ignore, because geez louise, they are just emotion leechers not even worthy of being noticed. (Politics would be a good example of this for me.)

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(this is where my politics lie.)

Once I put all that on the table, I felt so freaking deliriously happy! I feel like so many things emotionally have improved for me! I no longer live in my past as (what I believed to be) that stupid wife who let her cheating husband degrade her soul for twenty years to the point that she went almost insane. I’ve never felt better about myself than I do now and I even feel pretty good about that cheating EX-husband. He doesn’t know that or care and I am even okay with that! Those of you who know me, know this is a huge accomplishment for me.

My current life with my (new) husband is amazing. We are closer than ever. We are the best of friends and truly partners now. It took some time to convince the perpetual bachelor that he was truly stuck with me but he is totally IN the game now! ๐Ÿ˜‰

My, now, 4 year old love child son is the absolute greatest thing that ever happened to me. It’s kind of dangerous because I have a grandma attitude due to my age and having been through the parenting gig once already. My husband has to keep me in check. I am the parent and need to act accordingly no matter how absolutely adorable and charming my son is. Ha!

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This will be me.

My grandson is doing great and has finally shed his babyfat. He’s super smart and gets spoiled everyday… not by me, but by his other family. I’m much more okay with that now. I used to be hurt by the distantness but it’s a baby momma thing and I literally have absolutely no control over that or her or anything. I’m just happy he is well loved and cared for always.

My daughter finally found someone to partner with. She’s only 23 so that could change anytime but I trust that she will weather through whatever roads she takes. She is still taking the absolute longest road to becoming a nurse that anyone has ever taken… and I have learned that there is absolutely nothing I can do about that so I will do nothing until she asks me for help. That’s super hard for me but I am doing it! Yay me!

My son still struggles with his illness, but once again, he is an adult and is making his own decisions that he must live with. There is nothing I can do about that so I have stopped worrying about it. I kind of have realized that he is probably going to struggle emotionally for the rest of his life but his choices are his own. My job is simply to be supportive and love him. I feel much better after realizing this and no longer offering advice to someone who just appeases me has really made my life so much less stressful!

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The month after my last post, I started a new business doing art and crafts for Christmas. I live in a small rural area but I was swamped with orders! That business has grown slowly but steadily. I decided that to offset the stress of being told every month that my job may not be there tomorrow I would start building a base for something that I could later grow into something more major. I have alot of competition in my area but my perfectionism makes my quality way better and I have more work ethic than all of my competitors combined! This gives me alot of stress but at the same time alot of incredible joy!

My husband’s grandmother died very recently. We had been dealing with her medical issues most of last year and into the early part of this year. Another strong female figure in my life was gone. I spent alot of time talking one on one with her in the last 4 months of her life. Even though her transition out of this life was a rocky, painful road, I have so much appreciation for knowing her and knowing how dearly I was loved by her. She didn’t have to love me so purely, but she did and I could feel it.

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My own family continues to do their own things. My brother got married without telling or inviting anyone. I was hurt at the time but then I just felt bad that he did not feel he was close enough to any of his family or friends to invite them. So… we have been spending more time together as families who love each other. My father and his new wife are still distant in my life and will remain that way. He calls once every two months or so, probably because his wife suggests it, but I’m okay with that. I am not responsible for how he thinks of me. New concept. LOL

My father-in-law is still a little distant but closer than he used to be, I guess. Family trauma will sometimes bring people a little closer. His sister was here for a couple of months when we were taking care of and saying good bye to his mother. She’s a strong woman who demands certain involvement so I think everyone is always closer when she’s around… she’ll kick your ass if you aren’t… literally. She’s my favorite woman! We have a standing phone date every Saturday afternoon.

So this is what I have been doing and where the hell I have been! Loving my family for who they want to be. Living each day with joy and having gratitude for my long journey that got me here. Making conscious decisions to suck it up and not worry about crap I cannot control. Working towards building a future… even as I hurtle towards being 50 years old… YIKES!

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For anyone wanting to check out my business (and buy some stuff), please visit my Facebook page at: http://www.facebook.com/kathryndesignsartdecormore

What’s next for me is I am thinking of starting a whole new blog… less emotional… more fun… much more joyfulness. I’ll post here if and when I decide to launch that. Sound boring? It’s not. You can jump on the happy train and quit judging me, you know?

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Don’t be this girl.

PEACE!!!

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I have been a bit stressed and busy lately so I haven’t had a chance to update my long time readers. Sorry about that, peeps! If you are just a casual reader here, then you may wish to skip this post… it has nothing to do with diet or weight loss or food in any way…

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So, today was Father’s Day… we didn’t do much here. Just sat around watching TV and doing cooking for the week. I had already sent a card to my father and son. I gave my husband a card and bought him some new uniforms online. Woo hoo! Exciting, eh?

There really isn’t very much going on in my personal life lately. I have become pretty boring. Considering the drama filled, emotional extravaganza I encountered on my trip to boringville, I won’t bitch about having a boring life right now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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My adult son did call me today. Freaking the hell out because the cell phone he insists on getting is $100 more than he thought it would be. Really. He was out of his mind crazy upset about it. And, no. He is not on his medication at the moment. But he’s an adult now. He needs to manage that shit on his own. I can’t do it for him. He obviously needs it…

My daughter has just entered a new relationship with a new guy. I haven’t met him yet but she says he’s okay. That remains to be seen… I am suspect after the last guy who looked perfect and turned out to be a narcissistic asshole. ๐Ÿ˜ She is almost done with her Associate’s degree. Finally. It has only taken her 4 years to complete community college. I love the girl, but really? ๐Ÿ˜†

My husband’s diabetic 85 year old grandmother has now returned from a trip to Tennessee. She is always telling me how she is on a no carb diet but is constantly eating fruit and having a “teeny bit” of cake or cookies. It frustrates me to no end. I don’t want to be mean to her but this is a life or death thing for her. I hate that she doesn’t listen when you tell her stuff.

She isn’t my grandmother and I don’t feel right bossing her around, but I feel like shaking some sense into her. Old habits die hard, I guess. I hope that I will not ever be NOT willing to listen and learn new things when I am 85 years old. She doesn’t seem to understand that if she needs low carbs and moderate protein, then all that’s left is fat. She’s lived a lifetime of the government telling her fat is bad so I guess I get it. I tell her about all the new research and she still doesn’t listen.

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Also, I pray to God that I am not worrying about my weight when I am 85 years old. Seriously. That is a major concern for her. She absolutely does not want to gain weight. Now… granted… gaining weight would not be advantageous to her health at all. BUT… her health is not really her concern. Her concern is gaining weight, period. UGH!

Work has been extra stressful with the departure of my old manager. My new manager is very much like that prior manager that went 6 months not speaking to me. (Or vice versa… whatever…) I do not have a good vibe about this at all.

I am now starting to think about what I should do in my next chapter of life… like what new career I should have. The thing is, I would love to be a stay at home mom full time, but I am so not a believer in women being dependent in any way on a man. Ever. So I need to figure out a new career.

I keep hoping I will have an epiphany of some sort that helps guide me but it’s just not happening. I have considered taking a CNA class since CNAs can always find work somewhere and I would be okay with wearing scrubs every day… ๐Ÿ˜† I have also considered trying to start a Virtual Assistant business but I hate selling myself. The long range of that seems to not be very stable… although I believe that the perfectionist in me would make me awesome at it.

I considered going back to college but what pisses me off about college is that I would have to take about a million of those 090 classes, which don’t even count towards college credit, to even bring myself up to speed. That pisses me off. I mean, I work with numbers every single day of my 40ish years of ย life and I have yet to use any algebra from 8th grade beyond the first week or two of that instruction. WHY do I need to take MORE?

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I have worked for 30 years straight this year. I’m so tired of working. I’m especially tired of “having” to work in order to survive. I know… I’m whining… fuck. I really just hate that I haven’t been able to CHOOSE to work, I guess. I would love the luxury.

My brother has found a great new girl and she came with two additional little girls. I knew he wouldn’t be single long. The good and stable guys never are. As much as I was sure he was going to end up being a carbon copy of my father, I am so proud that he has really grown over the last few years and is totally not. I was preparing to be basically family-less but he has really turned that around and we are closer than we ever have been. That’s real hard when you have a 12 year age difference!

My father is living well with his new wife. We have occasional brief and awkward phone calls where he is always trying too hard to get off the phone as quickly as possible and I’m trying to keep the conversation going. Oh well. I’m trying! :/

So, that’s the update on my life right now. All boring and bland but I had received a few messages asking me how things were going.

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SUM UP: Stagnant but I’m okay with that. Need new career ideas.

PEACE!!!

It’s just a regular day for me… nothing special… here I am on New Year’s Eve, sipping coffee, blogging, surfing the web, and contemplating my next Netflix movie choice…

FUN, FUN, FUN! ๐Ÿ˜€

Or… OLD, OLD, OLD! ๐Ÿ˜

Oh, well… I’m okay with it. I have to work tomorrow so it’s all good to me.

Speaking of which… I work in a government backed financial industry… like every bank in America and every government office is closed tomorrow, but I am working. WTF?! ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

I don’t have any super duper New Year’s resolutions… My current plan is just to focus on ME this year. I have taken a couple of years off from doing that. I look like shit. I feel like shit. I need to get off my fat ass and DOOOO something about it. (As Nate would say… ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

2014 Plan


Quit eating like there is no tomorrow.
Seriously… I’m so over food. Nothing tastes good anymore. Since I quit smoking entirely, they say your taste buds come alive… well, I think I killed mine off as nothing is particularly satisfying… it’s all just “meh” so now is a great time to quit stuffing my face.

Put make up on every day. It’s amazing how much of a difference this makes in a woman’s life. I need to do it again. I have started just making sure I have eye liner on… baby steps, people… baby steps! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Simplify my finances. Since my employer has all but said they would be laying us all off in 2014, I need to get my finances in order to prepare for upcoming apocalyptic fall from grace. I have pretty much resigned myself to knowing that I cannot control the employment gods. I only have control of me… so I need to pay off anyone who I actually love or like while I have money and a job. Once the job goes, it’s going to be a blood bath. ๐Ÿ˜†

Appreciate others. This is a continuation of my resolution from 2013. It went well but I got a little to caught up in my own pity party to focus well on it. I plan to stick a shitload of thank you note cards in my purse to try to give me more incentive to appreciate people on the fly… I am pretty sure that almost every person who is generous these days is not recognized for it and they deserve recognition. I know that when people do that for me it makes me feel special and I want to make others feel the same way.

Completely quit nicotine. ONCE AND FOR ALL!ย So, I kinda quit smoking in 2011/2012 when I had a baby and was breast feeding. I used to smoke 1 to 2 packs of cigarettes a day. I got down to one a day and then one every few days when i was breast feeding. Then, I slowly started smoking up to 3-4 a day. And THEN I spiralled out of control when my family home was trashed by renters and started smoking like a crazy woman again…

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Anyway… I tried an electronic cigarette on Thanksgiving Day. Not bad. On my drive home, I stopped and bought a disposable e-cigarette that i nursed for 2-3 days. On Black Friday, I found a great deal on the V2 Cigarette Starter Kit (comment if you want the discount code!) and that started my journey. I have not had a regular cigarette since December 6th.

E-cigarettes have nicotine in them but you have control over the amount. So I do still get nicotine regularly. However, I plan to wean down to 0% nicotine by the end of the year. Possibly sooner… I can’t even stand the taste of the tobacco flavors anymore and I am having a hard time finding the perfect flavor to vape/smoke daily so it could be sooner, I guess. We’ll see how it goes.

Smoking was a good, loyal friend for so, so many years and what made it so hard to quit was the routine of it all. I still smoke/vape when I take out the dog to poop, and after I eat, and when someone is screaming at me on the phone… but now, it’s completely fragrance free water vapor. I love not smelling like smoke anymore! ๐Ÿ™‚

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So those are my plans for the new year. 2013 kind of sucked donkey balls. I am not expecting 2014 to be much better. But, all I can do is do me better than I did me last year, so that’s the plan, Stan!

I hope everyone had an awesome Christmas with their family and friends! I wish nothing but the best for every single one of you in 2014!

PEACE!

 

I should really start doing video blogs because I am just so lazy these days.

Actually… I’m stressed. Andย tired… and lazy… ๐Ÿ˜†

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So here’s the 4-1-1 on moi:

1. Working like a DOG!

Seriously. I am working as efficiently as I can. And I am still failing by my company’s standards. I swear that they are setting me up to fail. I am super efficient. Super trained. Super multi-tasking. Super smart. And Super Worthy-Of-Any-Company’s-While… but the standards that my company wants me to meet are impossible. I absolutely love my job and I am a loyal, dedicated employee… but I have a sneaky suspicion that my company is plotting against me! Just when I am feeling super confident and getting into a groove, they find something else to pile on and kick me in the ribs! It’s so frustrating! I have already warned my children to be prepared… Mama maybe be unemployed soon. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

2. I have resigned myself to the family I’ve got.

I spent my Thanksgiving with the family membersย that mean the most to me and feel the same way about meย and that’s what counts. The other family members that chose to exclude themselves made that choice by themselves. They are grown ass adults. If they want to be alone in life, so be it. I’m going to quit wishing it were different. All I can do is show my son how real family is supposed to act, even when their own family doesn’t do the same. Because it’s not about that… you can only control yourself and what you do… and you only really have to live with yourself at the end of the day. I choose to live my life treating my family members in a caring way that shows them that I appreciate them, their company, and their input in my life.

3. Fuck Black Friday.

It’s dead. You know that, right? They fucking killed it! I used to love going out at the butt crack of dawn and standing in line, drinking hot cocoa, and chatting with all the other crazy ass parents in line at Toys R Us. I would shop all morning, and my girlfriends and Iย would finish up the day with an amazing lunch out, drinking margaritas! Loved that! Now? Well, now it all starts a week ahead of time! And, everyone is out to screw each other over. And, people will actually punch and bite to get what they want. And, my employer actually blacked out the possibility for employees to take that day off… just us peon employees… not the managers apparently… I did all my shopping online. My office currently is stacked with boxes EVERYWHERE! My husband is not a fan… because, although I call it MY office, it was actuallyย HIS office first… ๐Ÿ˜

4. Fuck Pre-Lit Trees!

Pre-Lit My Ass!

5. I quit smoking and turned into one of those tree hugger type people.

Okay, not quite… but I did finally stop smoking real cigarettes. Now I smoke the fake ones. On Black Friday, I was able to get a deal on a e-cigarette starter kit for like 40% off online. I figured I could try it. And it is working quite well!ย I never really quit smoking. I got down to maybe one every few days during my pregnancy and when I was breast feeding, but when the rental property exploded in my face this past summer, I became a full force smoking machine again. Well, my husband had a co-worker die from lung cancer and he has been telling me sad stories about it. He is not a sentimental or emotional attached person in any way so I knew he kept talking about it to make a point. His point was: “I know you are smoking, you sneaky little bitch! Stop it before you die on me and I have to raise our kid alone!” So… yeah. I got it. But now, I have to hang out in all the “vaping” (that’s the stupid word they use for the act of smoking a e-cigarette) forums just to research and find out stuff I want to know because I am geeky that way… and I don’t want to be inhaling new carcinogens so I hang out in the “organic” groups as well… with a-l-o-t of hippie environmentalists… like ALOT! They wouldn’t call themselves that… but they so are… I almost feel bohemian! Unfortunately, I am still way too commercially tainted to ever pass muster… I kinda feel like one of those loser creeps that hangs around people who don’t want him around. Oh well.

6. My kid is toy deprived.

So, all my kid’s toys fit in one of those 18 gallon Tupperware containers. Seriously. No joke. I think my husband has been throwing them out or something! I feel like the kid is lacking child related stimulation, and now, I feel bad! I hope he gets lots of toys for Christmas… My husband is very picky, though. For example, he doesn’t think the kid should have blocks because he will throw them or hit us with them. Uhhhhh…. whaaaaat? So I am totally getting him blocks. And not just little blocks but big huge freaking massive blocks he can build castles with! He’s too young to be rebellious so I’ve got to do it for him. Poor little guy!Always in trouble with Daddy!

7. Fatness is contagious.

So, my husband has caught my fatness… at least, that’s what he is acting like. Duh. He keeps getting on the scale and he’s like 196 pounds. With clothes on. At 6 foot tall. And he is aghast! And he’s being serious. Even though I’m laughing, which I am sure he does not appreciate. But, really? The man has more willpower than anyone I know. He will go on a tuna sandwich diet for two weeks and be 15 pounds lighter. I hate him for that! ๐Ÿ˜† And, he doesn’t SAY that it’s my fault but I feel like it is because I have been cooking on the weekends… but, really, it’s his own damn fault… He bought a whole package of Oreo Mint cookies and left my son ONE from the whole package, which means my husband ate the rest of the package BY.HIM.SELF! You can’t do that and then get on the scale three days later and act like you’re all pissed that you gained weight. I mean, COME ON!

8. New Year’s Resolutions…

Has everyone started planning? Nate has already made ten statements over at EP of things he will never be able to keep up with… like making nice with his brother… like THAT will happen… or not drinking martinis after 9pm… ummmm… sure… he should be easy to whoop in Canasta now… ๐Ÿ˜† I am setting myself up for another year of failure as well so I shouldn’t pick on Nate too bad… I do plan to really recommit to myself to just take care of myself. Quitting smoking is the first thing… but I also want to totally be nicotine free by the end of 2014. E-cigarettes have nicotine in them but no chemical soaked tobacco. You can wean down to no nicotine, though. I am alsoย going to try a new diet strategy since I am bored with the old one.ย My old ass body needs a kick in the ass, I believe. I also want to commit to putting on make up every damn day. It makes you feel better to do that, but when you work from home, it’s so easy to just skank yourself up for way too long. For example, I have worn these pajama pants I have on for three days straight now… ugh! Don’t judge… It is what it is…

9. I am already sick of snow. And cold. And I don’t like rain either.

Yeah. I’m whining. I just want to be somewhere where the weather is mild year round… no torrential downpours. No bitterly cold wind chills. No buckets of snow. No hurricanes, typhoons, tornados, or blizzards. WHERE IS THIS MYSTICAL PLACE?! Let me know… I need it. And I may be unemployed soon so I might have some free time on my hands… ๐Ÿ˜‰

10. Quit being stingy! GIVE!

One of the things I do every single day of my life is listen to other people’s problems. It makes me humble and feel blessed to have what little I do have and not want for too much because there is always someone else so much worse off. I know it has been a rough year for so many of us. And I suspect, since I was already informed of such at my job, that 2014 may be even worse… but I hope that everyone can take some time this Christmas to give back to someone in need. Commit a random act of kindness, donate your time, listen to a friend or neighbor, or… just cough up some cash. My absolutely favorite charity this year is modestneeds.org . This charity is to give to every day people who just need a small helping hand this season. All the hardships are verified by the organization and you can even donate small amounts and it can really be life changing for the recipients that are being helped. I hope you’ll consider giving to them and take some time to read some of the stories… these are exactly like the people I speak with every day… they could be your neighbor, your friend’s cousin, your mom’s elderly friend… you never know… everyone’s got problems, but sometimes a small token can help them push through the hard times. Go now.

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PEACE!

I just cried watching The Search for Santa Paws. Fucking PMS.

Well, I don’t really know what happened but I did so horrible this week on my diet… and I was freaking starving! I may need to tweak my strategy…

In the past, my strategy has been only to eat when I am absolutely hungry and then only eat until I am no longer hungry and then stop. When I eat, it is either vegetables or protein. Nothing more.

I think my body has changed quite a bit since the baby. I did everything I have done in the past and I only lost 2 pounds. I should have lost more than that for it being my first week of full commitment. So frustrating!

So new strategy this week will be to try to not eat late at night. My new schedule has me all screwed up. I don’t start working until 10am and I don’t get off until almost 7pm every night. Then I have to feed the baby and get him calmed down for bed time. Then I do whatever chores need to be done… usually dishes and picking up toys. By then it’s 10pm and I haven’t even had supper yet and I’m starving! So then I make something to eat. I eat by 11pm and go to bed an hour later.

I think this has caused my whole system to be “off”. Just what my genetically effed up metabolism needs, eh? ๐Ÿ™„

Oh well. I’m not a quitter. I have been fat since I had my son at age 18. So for 20 years… And I was so much heavier than this 5 years ago. I always knew it wouldn’t come off quickly and I knew I would have to take it slow….

I just didn’t really PLAN to have a baby again. And I didn’t forsee all the stress my job would cause. Hell, five years ago my job was the happiest thing in my life. I super loved my job. Now? The amount of stress is overwhelming and has caused fat from my ass to move to my stomach. Very annoying and much harder to eliminate.

I have been reading about cortisol and serotonin and possible options to reduce or inhibit my stomach fat easier. Dr. Oz has this whole thing about Garcinia Cambogia. He said it was cheap. It is not… but it may be worth a try if I can find it somewhere cheap. I’m not much of a pill taker but I’m game to try anything that might help that particular problem.

I hate it when my stomach goes out further than my boobs. ๐Ÿ˜›

In other news…

Okay, there is no other news right now. I have been working my ass off because I am trying to keep my job for as long as humanly possible and that means working like a slave. I’ve been going in early, staying late, working through lunch. It’s ridiculous really. But in today’s world, if you have a job, you had better be going the extra mile. People would line up to replace your ass. You ARE replaceable. I know this because my employer reminds me of this all.the.time. Good of them, huh? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Today I changed all the sheets in the house. This is when I discovered that because my husband does not know how to fold the sheets properly that he just crumples them up into a big ball and then shoves them into the shelf in my closet. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

Yeah, I know, right? WTF? ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

I haven’t really been keeping up with current TV shows. I am so far behind on Project Runway that they have started the new season and I haven’t even finished last season yet! ๐Ÿ˜ฏ I KNOW!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????

I finally finished LOST. I swear that I have no idea why people made such a big deal of it. It wasn’t THAT great. The first couple of seasons were the best… but isn’t that how it always goes with good shows like that? I remember when I watched HEROES. I loved it but each season the writing got suckier and suckier… That’s how I felt about LOST. But Matthew Fox was super hot in it most of the time. ๐Ÿ˜†

Now I am watching Shameless… the British version… the original. I hate it when American Television tries to rip off the British shows. They are never as good or clever. (Maybe I shouldn’t say “never” since I love The Office – the American version…) It usually takes me an episode or so to get used to the accents but generally I do and they are pretty funny… And the Brits all look like normal people to me… not like all those clones you see in those CW shows… UGH! B-O-R-I-N-G!

On the friend front, I have none really. It’s been so freaking cold out this winter that I literally have been holing myself up in the house. I don’t go see anyone and no one sees me. Joanne deleted my on facebook and started not talking to me… AGAIN… when I was on my Houston trip for training. I asked her why but she never responded and I just let it go because I am done dealing with crazy. I just don’t have the time to deal with people who only think about themselves and what is going on in their lives…

It does make me kinda sad. I know I have lots of friends online through EP and the other activities I have done over the last 15 years or so… BUT, it would be nice to have some true women friends in real life. And I would like for them to not be suffering any type of mental illness or stupidity. That would help me out sooooo much! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Okay, well, I am just generally rambling right now because I am tired and need to get to bed. I know this post was super boring. Sorry, guys! This is what happens to people when they don’t leave their homes ever… nothing fun ever happens to them! ๐Ÿ˜›

PEACE!!!

For the record, I still have shitty friends.

๐Ÿ˜

Just sayin’…

Soooo… I have turned into a lazy ass. That’s my excuse. My excuse for not posting. And it’s totally the truth…

I just really feel like doing N-O-T-H-I-N-G. Ever.

In reality, though, this is not good. I am not a naturally lazy person. So it kinda sucks balls to know that every day that I sit around doing absolutely nothing I am just WASTING time… time that I can never get back in my life. And let’s face it… I ain’t no spring chicken. Hel-lo! ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

I think it’s been such an action packed year… I moved out of my house and into Andy’s. I had a baby. I planned a wedding. I actually followed through and got married. ๐Ÿ˜† Now, I just feel exhausted. All the time.

*sigh*

I need to get off my ass. I have stuff to do! Like…

I need to decide to lose weight and just do it. I have pretty much just said “F it” for the last 10 months. Oh yeah. Sure. I gave a pretty piss poor attempt a couple of times… but I wasn’t sincere… it’s really not that hard to lose weight. But you have to actually want to do it for it to actually work. ๐Ÿ™„

I need to finish the baby’s room. I still have 2-3 projects that I never finished. I know. I suck. Gah!

I need to declutter the house. I am positively sure that I am slowly driving my new husband insane with all my “shit”. The dining room has craft supplies lining every wall. The closet in our office is just getting piled with random boxes of random schtuff I don’t want to look at anymore… so I shove it in the closet. ๐Ÿ™„ I know! Andy is all lovey dovey most of the time but I imagine that he is screaming profanities at me on the inside for being such a slob and messing up his 43 year old bachelor pad… eh, screw it. ๐Ÿ˜†

I need to sell my stupid truck. I don’t need it. I love it. But I don’t need it. And it truly is the last thing that connects me and my ex-boyfriend, who is now forever banished from my life for being a worthless piece of shit. Thank God. But, anyway, I need to sell my truck.

I need to sell stuff. Alot of stuff. Like alot alot. I have a whole storage facility full of stuff and I pay money to keep it there. I have also semi filled Andrew’s basement with even more stuff that needs to be sold. ๐Ÿ™„ Ugh. He’s growing to hate me. I just know it.

I need to start planning for the holidays. ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† yeah. no. Not happening. You know, it’s amazing to me that a mere 4 years ago and for the 19 years prior I started planning for the Christmas holidays in August. And I would spend 5 months of my life buying 57 “perfect” gifts for 22 people. Then I would stay up ALL night on Christmas Eve wrapping all the presents while my ex-husband watched TV and fell asleep on the couch. ๐Ÿ™„

Now, one of the biggest and most welcome changes in my life is a relaxing, stress-free holiday. I really really miss my ex-husband’s family. Alot. Too much. But I do NOT miss the insane planning and feeling like shit all day on Christmas. I know James will miss the old traditions but he has his own family now and he needs to make his own traditions. Chelsea on the other hand would rather work…

Miscellaneous news: Petey was adopted from Safe Haven in Elizabeth, Illinois. I hope he’s super happy at his new home. Baby Sean is 9 months old and is sporting teeny baby fangs! Halloween appropriate, eh?

My annual mammogram is scheduled for Friday after a 2 year hiatus due to being knocked up. I finally have a new manager at work. The jury is still out on whether he’s good for my team or not. Time will tell. Work is still super stressful, though. Since I got married, I have watched the first 8 seasons of The Office. Fu-un-ny!

Until next time…

PEACE!