Archive for the ‘FLUFFY CHICKS ROCK!’ Category

Are you on the edge of your seat? Just couldn’t wait for me to pop up somewhere new?

Yeah. I didn’t think so. 😀

Anyway. Bitches. LOL. Come on over to the new blog! I’m trying to clean up my act so don’t embarrass me over there!



So, I had a couple of people ask me about what sauces I use. Apparently, I referenced them in some post I recently did. Sorry for not disclosing at the time, guys!

When you try to eliminate carbs from your diet, you rely on alot more proteins. And, sometimes, those proteins get boring. Not everyone likes Googling recipes or pinning recipes on Pinterest for hours on end… (it’s an addiction)

Me? Well, I do both of those things… but at the end of the day, I am more of a dreamer. I wish I had the motivation and time to try all the awesome recipes I find but I just don’t. I’m fucking lazy. I like simple and quick. Sauces help to expand your options with minimal effort involved.

I have a shit ton of sauces. I keep 10-15 on hand at all times and I have a shelf of unopened new ones waiting in the wings. It’s almost an obsession.

I always, always, always have mayonnaise on hand… that should be a given… I buy it in the huge institutional size and eat it every single day without fail. That’s a no-brainer there… Here’s the others:




Like my super fancy “labels”? You would think I would be more ambitious… I mean, I have like a billion pins on my boards over at Pinterest. Surely one of those pins would teach me to be super crafty and make some super cute labels for my squeezy bottles, right? Yeah… screw that. 😆

So, the reason I have so many sauces is that it lends variety to average meats. I could cook up a whole 5 pound bag of chicken breasts to eat for the week and have new meals daily just by changing up the sauce. This makes things super quick, easy, convenient, and CHEAP!

And, I know ya’ll like CHEAP! 🙂

Hope this answers some of your questions…. keep them coming if you have them!


Well, it has now been 4 months since I started LCHF (Low Carb, High Fat) and I am feeling FABULOUS! I have now lost:


And that was with a full blown cheat day for my birthday where I gained 6 pounds overnight! I call that a WIN to have lost almost 8 pounds in a month. I mean, one whole week was just used working off my cheat day so the 8 pounds lost was really in 3 weeks.

I haven’t taken measurements yet, because I’m effing laaazzzyyy. (You all know this about me…) I hope to remember to do them first thing tomorrow morning.

From my prior post, I detailed out my planned cheat day and my recovery plan. It went very well and I lost all that I gained plus a few ounces. That’s fine with me. I really do feel like it was worth it. I had no ill side effects that so many others complain about other than just general fatigue… kind of like an extended carb crash. But it wasn’t awful or anything I would have complained about incessantly in the groups.

My recovery plan worked amazingly well. I had a full on chicken week. I precooked 3.75 pounds of chicken breasts. From that, I made several servings of several meals.


Most mornings I ate a spinach omelet because that is my go-to meal. The thing about these omelets is that you can add more fat or protein as needed. Plus they are creamy and yummy and hot, very much like my prior comfort foods that I loved…

This actually made for a very cheap eats week on LCHF. The chicken was on sale for $1.99 a pound last week. What pisses me off about chicken breast these days is that they add broth to them, because apparently, all the domestic chickens are flavorless. Plus, they are just trying to screw you over. You know it, I know it. So the 3.75 pounds of chicken breast only weighed like 2.5 pounds after it was cooked. So, whatever…

Anyway, for $7.44 for the chicken and a dozen large eggs at $1.49, I had all my protein for the week. I used 2 tablespoons of chopped fresh cilantro, a stalk of celery, a couple of tablespoons of mayo, and 2 small green onion stalks to make all of the above. I added one bag of steamable broccoli florets, a bag of spinach, a large head of romaine, one avocado, a bag of shredded cheddar, and sour cream. Even if you add in all the condiments I already had on hand, like soy sauce, sesame seeds, butter, salsa, sesame oil, and various snacks (usually 1-2 oz. nuts or sugar free candy/aldi’s bars), I spent maybe $30 for the week. That’s not bad…

So, for my recovery week, I tried my best to stay at 1400 calories or less. That was sometimes hard because I also was trying to keep my fat macro about 70%. That is super hard. But I accomplished this most days and I easily lost the 6 pounds I had gained from my super gluttonous cheat day (well, it was more like a 1.25 day).

Oh, and apparently, the menus are popular so here was the menu from my frig this last week:

Cheap LCHF Chicken Week Menu

You will notice that snacks aren’t listed here. I have gotten into this habit… well, it’s an old bad habit that is now adapted for this new way of living… but I basically buy cheap snacks when I see them. I actually am not a sweets eater. I got fat eating lowfat carbs like whole wheat bread, pasta, and rice and deep fried carbs like french fries, onion rings (yum!), and beer battered fish or hard shell tacos. I have no idea why I buy all these low carb sweets.

Basically, I horde snack foods “just in case”. Like, I am horrified at the thought that if I am desperate to eat — and there are days where I am working so hard that this does happen– I want the ability to snack on something and not feel incredibly bad about it. I have bags of various nuts, sugar free toffee squares and chocolate truffles, the new Aldi’s low carb bars, Quest bars, one serving packets of Justin’s almond or peanut butter, pork rinds, etc. in a shelf area in my office desk.

The thing is… I keep buying this shit and I rarely eat any of it. Or, when I do eat something, it is less than one serving of it. So the shelf is actually becoming a little full. I guess I need to stop that… Maybe. Kinda. I’ll try. 😛



When I started my new way of living/eating, I decided that I would have three designated cheat days a year: My birthday, my anniversary, and Christmas Day. I know people get crazy righteous about cheat days in online communities so I keep this shit to myself…

cheat meals 1

So, this weekend was one of those cheat days. If you want to see what I ate, feel free to go to my Myfitnesspal page and take a looksie. Yes. I documented it. The whole ugly day… fair warning — it’s a horrific carb filled nightmare. 😛


No regrets here. I don’t feel one bit bad. 🙂

Look… we are all human. Cake is good. Carbs taste fucking amazing. Let’s be real here. Life would be very sad without polenta or spaghetti or Popeye’s Spicy Fried Chicken or (insert your favorite carb here). I think it is entirely unrealistic to tell yourself you will NEVER have a certain something or another of pure bliss unless you will die from it.

I have a “foster” son who is highly lactose intolerant. He also has MS. 😦  He doesn’t need any help feeling like crap and he generally tries to eat healthy for his own well being. But he loves ice cream. He doesn’t eat it often but he does occasionally do it. For him, the risk is worth the pleasure.

That’s how I view cheat days. The risk is worth the pleasure. Sooo… How much weight gain did this pleasure cost me? 6 pounds.


I know. It seems like alot. But if you check out my food log, you will see that I ate about 3500 calories for the whole cheat day. To gain 6 pounds of actual fat, I would have had to eat at least 21,000 calories. So it’s most likely water weight. (I hope…)


Anyway, people on Facebook and in the online groups would be freaking the hell out if this happened to them. I’m just kinda like “meh”… no biggie. I planned to do it. I knew what I wanted. I had a plan for the following week. I’m not curled up into the fetal position on my floor in deep throes of regret contemplating suicide. I’m good!

I think that the people who lose their willpower and unexpectedly fall off the wagon are the ones who freak out. Planning is key. I have known about this from the beginning. I did contemplate not doing it because I was actually within 5 pounds of my first goal (pre-happiness weight) but decided to just do it. I felt like if I didn’t stick with my plan now then I would talk myself into going off for a day later when it wasn’t as well planned out. THEN, freak out.

crackhead skinny

So I stuck to the plan. I don’t regret it. I’m doing pretty good. I don’t really get all the extreme symptoms that people speak of when they cheat like feeling horrible from all the carbs in their system or feeling like they have the flu. What’s that about?

I suppose everyone is different… but I had no ill side effects of eating carbs. I felt fine. I feel fine. My only side effect it seems is that I am extremely tired today. Like first trimester type fatigue where I probably could have slept all day if I didn’t have a terrible two toddler running my life right now. Other than that, no issues…

cheat meal bliss

Like I said, I have a plan for this week. The plan is to eat closer to 1300-1400 calories a day (about 200-300 less than my daily average) and be pretty strict on my water intake. Today, I ate about 10 grams of carbs and I would like to keep the carbs to between 10-15 all week. Oh, also, I’m doing an all chicken week! (I’ll do a separate post on that another time.)

It’s my first cheat day this year so I am not for sure that this “plan” will redeem me from the chinese meal-a-palooza, 10 cups of buttered popcorn, 2 mixed drinks, 3 beers, and the late night gas station pizza slice I downed in a parking lot full of bar patrons. But I’m okay with it all for now.

I might be freaking out in a week or two if I never recover from this, but I am banking on the odds being with me. Fingers and toes crossed!

weight loss gain




I know what you’re thinking, but… WRONG SCALE!

My newest “thing” to do is literally weigh everything that goes into my mouth. I have no idea why I am wasting so much of my energy and effort to do this. But I am doing it. :/


Weird, right? I may need like a Scales Anonymous meeting or something… Damn perfectionist OCDers! ARRRGGHHH!!!!

So, I figured I would post a new recipe. Lettuce wraps have also become a new obsession for me. I actually have some lower carb tortilla wraps from Buena La Vida (4 net carbs). My problem with them is that they taste doughy and the gross carb count is 9 per wrap. That’s too rich for my blood when I am currently trying to keep my gross under 25-30. And I like the quantity that romaine lettuce leaves give me.

So, tonight, after having a lunch of 5 BLT wraps (YUM!), I decided that the ground turkey in my fridge needed to be cooked pronto! What to make, what to make… TACOS! Of course!

Here it is!

















Looks awesome, right? I have no idea why people aren’t making taco meat every damn day on Low Carb! If someone had told me how little net carbs are in these spices, I would have been all over that from day one!

Instructions: Brown the ground turkey over medium heat on the stovetop in a regular skillet. You may need to add some fat if it’s extra lean like mine was. I used 1 tsp. of bacon grease leftover from my lunch. I didn’t count it above, though, because I figured most people aren’t as lazy as me people may use different fats than me. Anywhooo… brown the meat. Add the spices. Add maybe 1/2 cup of water. Keep the heat on medium for the stove. Stir it up real well, heat thoroughly, and make sure all the spices are blended into the meat good. Serve in a lettuce wrap! Or whatever your current wrap obsession is… Servings – 8 – 1/3 cup servings approximately.

DISCLOSURE: I should also tell you that this meat is intensely flavorful. I think that’s better when I am using something like lettuce as a wrap. You could probably cut the chili powder and cumin in half and it would still taste just fine. And, you may be able to eliminate the onion powder as well. I only added it because I thought I would not be using onions in the wrap but I did… because I love onions. It’s a flaw, I know… 😛

Here’s the final product:


Holy freaking YUM, right??? It was sincerely awesome. The whole two wrap meal was 420 calories, 38 grams of protein, 26 grams of fat (this could maybe be higher, but I’m using ground turkey… next time I’ll use beef), 10 grams of carbs with 3 grams of fiber = 7 NET CARBS. That’s with the meat, lettuce, salsa, cheese, onions, and sour cream! I thought about maybe doing a squirt of a chile infused oil of some sort… to up the fat… Or maybe avocado?

If you’d like to see what I’m eating and doing, you can friend me over at myfitnesspal. My name is reneeroling over there and I am a loser with no friends. Maybe because I’m obnoxious, but it still gets lonely. 😦

Tomorrow is weigh in day and I am feeling pretty pissy PMSy so we will see how that goes. This next month, if the weather would just cooperate, I am going to start walking. Which reminds me that I need to go order my stun gun flashlight so people don’t EFF with me… Small town folk, ya know? 😆



Okay, so I am a slacker… I totally started a post at the one month mark and never finished it… My bad.

So, 1 month and 11 days into Low Carb High Fat, I am down 18 pounds! Not bad, not bad… I have done worse in my lifetime, by far… 🙂

Part of the reason I have been slacking on the blog end is because I have been learning so much about my own personal nutritional needs and tweaking as I go along. It seems like every year that I get older, I am having a harder time losing weight consistently, so tweaking is more necessary.


What I have discovered is that I need no help to be Low Carb High Fat (LCHF). I am naturally inclined to be that way, as is. I meet all my goals easily for 5% carbs, 20% protein, and 75% fat without resorting to all the special tricks other people are saying they have to do. My problem was that I was meeting those goals by like 3pm everyday! So then I would be starving!

The “veterans” on the LCHF groups and forums were of no help in my predicament. They would basically say I was eating too much. But I was starving. Like, literally, stomach growling starving. Apparently, I am just a gluttonous pig. 😐 Bitches.

So, anyway, they were of no help at all. I had to figure this out all by myself. I want to post my tweaks here, in case anyone else has the same troubles I did. Maybe they will give you some ideas on how to adapt the low carb thing to your advantage…

First of all, let me tell you, my protein limit is around 75g a day. I say “around” because I want it to be lower but I still sometimes get higher. Now, 3 ounces of chicken breast is 27g of protein. Do you KNOW how little a 3 oz. piece of chicken breast is???? It’s ridiculously small! One Butterball Turkey Burger is 31g! And that is just the meat! If you eat dairy (like 1 oz of cheese on the damn burger) and even some vegetables, those also have some protein. WTF? It adds up VERY quick.

If you are trying to maintain 10-20g of carbs total, and trying to watch calories because you are older or have health issues and can’t lose weight if you go too high on the calorie scale, and you are going way over on the protein, and you are STARVING, then maybe my trick will help. What I did was decide to increase my carbs (scary, right?), but my goal is now  20-25 NET carbs. Net carbs are the total carb grams minus the fiber grams. I also try to keep the gross carbs below 35 but I’m not super obsessed about the gross. I still try to aim for 1500 calories a day.

This trick has really opened my menu up. I am now able to add in so many more vegetables, which bulks up the amount of food I can eat. Plus, all the veggies really help with constipation, which can be a killer on the low carb diet. I also have been researching lower protein sources — meat that isn’t as hefty in protein grams per serving size.


While, my rule for myself is 20-25 net grams of carbs a day, I will have days when it’s like 15 grams net for the day. And that’s great and makes up for the higher carb days. I hope it keeps my body guessing and not sure what to do with itself but keep WHOOSHING my fat out. 😀

I want to also make a point to say that you MAY not need to tweak your fat level. I didn’t. I tried it and was eating like 200 grams of fat a day! That’s 1800 calories of fat alone! Since I am trying to keep my calories around 1500 a day, that was not something I could keep doing. I just wasn’t able to lose any weight that way. Besides, I get more than enough fat by cooking everything in butter, olive oil, or coconut oil.

When you look on the internet and in the forums and groups, people are always talking about Fat Bombs (low carb, low protein, high fat sweets usually) and BPC/Bullet proof Coffee (coffee with butter, coconut oil, and/or heavy cream). I make Fat Bombs, but not for the fat. I basically use them to avoid going to the gas station and buying a whole case of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

And, I completely cut out the “BPC”. Coffee with butter actually tastes pretty effing awesome, but I just didn’t need the fat and calories. Lots of people do the BPC in place of breakfast and sometimes even lunch. I am unable to do that. My body SCREAMS for food if I even attempt to skip a meal. When I was younger, I skipped meals all the time when I was dieting. No can do now. 😦

I do still drink coffee. I am trying to switch to decaf right now in an attempt to lower my cortisol levels, but I do still drink it. My current morning coffee is 16 oz. of coffee, 1/2 tablespoon of Torani’s Sugar Free Vanilla Syrup, 6-7 drops of Stevia clear liquid, 1-2 Tablespoons of heavy cream, and a dash of cinnamon. HEAVEN!


My new trick this week has been to start a water regimen. I absolutely hate water. I don’t know why. It’s just bland and blah. People are always harping on you in every freaking forum and group about drinking a gallon of water a day. Are you shitting me? 😯 There is no way I could do a gallon.

Currently, I am choking down 4-6 glasses of water a day. I hope to be able to work up to 8 but I am not real hopeful. I drink a glass of caffeine free diet pepsi or diet sunkist with heavy cream once a day as well. I think the water thing is important, though, so I hope it keeps the weight coming off for me.

Some have sent me messages or left comments on my last post about a daily menu. I have to have a super varied menu or I will not be successful losing weight so my daily meals vary by alot. I just completed a large week of stocking up at various grocery stores (one of the crappy parts of living in a dinky ass town). When I do that, I post a list of treats and meals on the frig so I don’t freak the hell out every night after work since my brain is fried by then. (I did this before dieting… it’s my way of being super anal and controlling… of myself.) 😛


Yes, that is my actual menu. Yes, it is going on my frig. Yes, I realize my handwriting is not the best here… quitcherbitchen! I figure this is about two weeks of meals. We don’t eat out often at all. Maybe once a month. Having necessary food stuffs at home is a key component for me to stay on track.

Anyway, I hope this menu gives you some ideas. I also hope I answered a few questions for people that asked. I am fully 100% committed to doing this for a lifetime and I don’t mind figuring things out along the way. 😉

Next up is supplements. I currently take Magnesium at night. I have also been using sea salt regularly. I bought green coffee bean extract and raspberry ketones because they were on sale at Walgreens last week. I have not started my research on this at all yet. What should I take for optimal weight loss? And the first person that emails me some shit about advocare or xenadrine is going to have a voodoo curse put on them. (I don’t practice voodoo but I know a guy…) 😐

I want all natural, proven with studies, worth me paying for supplements… I need help with weight loss, stress (big time), sleep, and painting my house. Please and thank you!


I have a whirlwind of stuff I would like to talk about but I doubt I will hit it all. Here’s the short list… let’s see how many I hit:

  • My 42 year old dieting fat ass – new strategy
  • All the smack talk because of that stupid Yahoo! CEO bitch
  • Surviving 20 years. Meh.
  • My new tablet. Yessssss!
  • My new Bodyfit thingie. Yesssssssssssssss! Maybe.

Okay. Go.

So, I had been doing my usual diet strategy. And it was NOT working. At all. Period.

I don’t know what happened. Maybe it’s my age. Maybe it’s because I quit smoking (mostly). Maybe my hormones are holding me up. Maybe it’s bloat. Maybe I’m just being punished. Maybe it’s the fact that I had a baby at age 42 and totally should not have. Maybe it’s karma for calling someone else fat 30 years ago. Who the fuck knows!?

All I know is that my past strategy is kaput. I am ditching it. I hate that. Alot. It worked so well! For the newbies ’round these parts… my old strategy was to only eat when I was hungry and only until I was no longer hungry. But I could eat anything. I could have a couple of bites of a candy bar if I wanted. I could have ice cream if I wanted. But only if my stomach was growling. I had to be actually hungry.

And it worked! I lost 60 pounds on that. And it was easy! Like, seriously… easy peasey… so much so that I thought I had happened upon a true miracle diet! 😆 My whole philosophy was that I could do the whole gastric bypass diet without getting the surgery. And I was right, just so you know… Anyone can do the same damn thing if you just wrap your mind around it and be completely honest with yourself all the time.

Maybe that’s my whole problem. Back then, I was going through a major philosophical life change so being brutally honest with myself was something I was practicing non-stop…. Eh…. fuck that…. I am still brutally honest with myself every day all day. 🙄 That’s not it.

So, anyway… I have decided to become super strict… which is so not me… and really fucking sucks… but I have to do something! This extra weight since the baby is killing me. I feel like a fat slob all the time. The extra weight around my belly is extremely freaking dry, so when I say I am “just itching” to get the extra weight off, I am so not kidding. I feel ugly and really old. My “arthritis” (because I am totally self diagnosing myself to avoid my new $1000 deductible) is literally KILLING me slowly and I am sure that the extra weight makes that even worse. UGH!

So, new rules for me… and I am completely making them up as I go. And, no, they probably won’t be sane or nutritionally balanced or anything too “move more, eat less”. Nope. I don’t do traditional generally. Well, I should rephrase… traditional doesn’t like me. So I spent my day cooking up some goodies:



For the first time ever, I am actually going to do calorie restriction. 🙄 I know, I know! I have always been dead set against this, but I feel like I am in such a rut that I am in an extreme situation so it calls for an extreme approach. I know millions of women calorie restrict daily. I have not. When I lost this 60 pounds four years ago, I did not count calories. Ever. I did log my food but it was not for calorie counts… it was to be sure I didn’t go apeshit crazy on carbs.

But here I am… actually saying this OUT LOUD… I will be food logging/calorie counting. I will also start exercising in small bits daily. I know I complain about these “arthritic” pains and ya’ll LAUGH AND LAUGH but… really… for real, dude… I actually have been waking up in middle of the night because the ache in my hands and arms and feet can be so overwhelming. This is an all day and night thing so exercising has been a challenge. I just figure that I haven’t exercised hardly ever so even if I start slow, it’s better than what I was doing before, right? 😉

So, I just realized that WordPress did not save anything and it made me lose the last half of this post. Bastards. I’ll try to remember what I can but it’s late now…

To log all my exercise, I just ordered a Bodymedia FIT LINK Armband. I am super excited about getting it so I hope shipping doesn’t take forever. Considering how much shipping was, they could have sent it by US Mail just fine and I would have gotten it in 3 days… Anyway, this contraption is supposed to log all my activity all day… no way to cheat… just wear it and it does the rest.

I started out looking for heart rate monitors that did not have a chest strap… because I’m a big girl and how do I know the chest strap will even fit me? And if it doesn’t, I really don’t need that total wreckage of confidence. I know I’m fat… the rubber band around my chest would probably just create another roll. No, thank you.

So I did a web search for heart monitors for fat chicks… and I stumbled on the Bodymedia products. The reviews were pretty good overall. This will be great motivation to tell me daily to get off my super fat ass and MOVE! 🙂

So I guess I am selling out and doing the whole Move More, Eat Less thing. Damn it! I’m turning into a drone as I speak! Shit! So much for my rebel rep… 😛

I guess I will save the rest of the list for later since WordPress lost half my post. I hope everyone has a wonderful week!