Archive for the ‘Laying Low’ Category

Hey, everyone! How is everything going? All here is fantabulous! 🙂

So, there were major lay offs this past week at my work… Whenever that happens (which is way to freaking often), I go into panic mode and try to plan out my life as if I actually know what in the hell is going to happen. I feel like I have escaped the axe so many times now that eventually they will have no one else to axe and here I am! I’m a sitting duck!

So anyway, I started panicking and trying to plan for what would happen if I get booted from my job of 20+ years. 😦

My husband and I have always bought separate groceries. That’s basically because he is a third shifter and eats meals completely separate from me. Plus, he has food weirdness… like, he will eat tuna sandwiches everyday for a month straight. That’s weird, right?

What all that means is that if I were to become unemployed, I would be on my own for food. Not that he would let me starve, but he might… you never know! 😉 I would still feel like it’s my responsibility to feed myself… so I mocked up a menu of my typical grocery list for a week to see how much it would cost me.

I see people online complain about the high cost of eating right all the time. And, I agree. If I was going to eat like shit as a single person, I could do it for about $20 a week. Hell, maybe even $10 a week! I have lived on Ramen before… 😐

But this is just one sample Low Carb, High Fat menu. I think I’m going to try to devise more “just in case”. Here’s the shopping list:

2 packages of the bigger leaf romaine lettuce (Wal-mart) $1.48 each x 2
1 – 16 oz. package of fresh spinach (Wal-mart) $2.88 each
18 Ct. Large Eggs (Wal-mart) $2.94
1 pound ground meat (Whereever on sale) $4 max
1 pound fish fillets (wherever on sale) $5 max
1 pkg. of Chicken Thighs – 8 to a package – (less than $1 a pound on sale)- $3 max
1 – 8oz. package Shredded Mexican Blend Cheese (wherever) $2.50
1 – 8oz. package of cream cheese (wherever) $1.50 max
2 cans of 4 or 5oz. Tuna (wherever) $2 max
1 bunch of fresh cilantro (wherever) $1 max
1 pint of Heavy Whipping Cream (wherever) $3 max
1 container of sour cream (wherever) $2 max
TOTAL $32.78

This grocery list would make 21 single serving meals. I actually don’t think I eat 21 meals a week… I do more like 15 or 16 because there are days where I don’t have time to fit lunch in. So, I may be able to get away with even less spent. I did try to add some variety but if I am hard up, I would probably have no problem eating the same damn thing over and over again if needed. Been there, done that.

Here’s the meal list:

The LCHF Week's menu

The number in parentheses is the number of times I would eat that particular meal in a week. As you can see, I love my Spinach Omelets! 🙂 And I am certainly not opposed to leftovers because I have a wide selection of “sauces” to change things up.

This list also assumes that people have basic necessities and condiments, which I admit you would have to buy at least once every two months, maybe every month depending on your uses:

Coconut Oil (Wal-mart) $6
Louisiana Supreme Chicken Wing Sauce (Dollar Store) $1
30oz. Mayonnaise (wherever on sale) $4 max
Extra Virgin Olive Oil 16oz. (wherever on sale) $6 max
1 pound of Coconut flour (wherever on sale online usually) $4 to $5 max
Dill relish (Dollar store or on sale) $1 max
Garlic Powder (the cheapie container) $1
1 pound of butter (wherever on sale) $3 max
1 jar of salsa (Dollar store or make own) $2 max
1 bottle of low-sodium soy sauce (wherever on sale) $2.72 max
1 small bottle of pure sesame seed oil (wherever I can find it cheap) $3.48 max
Sesame Seeds (I found these in the cheapie section of the Dollar Store – hard to find but a super bargain) $1 to $4 max
TOTAL maybe $40 – depends on what you spend

Most of this stuff will last well beyond a month because you are only using it in small amounts. For example, the coconut flour you will only usually use 2 Tablespoons at a time.  And shopping around really helps to find the cheapest price. I tend to only buy stuff on sale, in season, or on clearance.  The dollar stores or Dollar Tree can be great but don’t count on them keeping favorite items in stock. Bulk buy when you find something you love.

The way I figure it is that I could easily eat healthy for $150 maximum per month on my own. Maybe even less as I haven’t given this oodles of thought yet. I’ve just been messing around with it a little. If I was cooking for a whole family, I could do it cheaper than $150 per person. My 2 year old tends to eat off my plate for breakfast, my husband makes his lunch, and he eats supper at the sitter usually. I sometimes buy “back up” food for nighttime meals if needed. He’s cheap… for now.

Like I said, I am going to try to do this on the regular now because I think it is inevitable that I will eventually lose my job. If I keep it, I will consider it a life bonus but I won’t be counting on it. 😦

Once I get enough chicken bones together, I plan to try making bone broth and replacing one meal a day with that plus butter. The health benefits and cost savings are almost too good to pass up. I am also considering oil pulling to improve gum health and possibly save on future dental bills, which are sure to be numerous.

Anyone have any other ideas for super duper cheap eats? Give me a holler!



It’s just a regular day for me… nothing special… here I am on New Year’s Eve, sipping coffee, blogging, surfing the web, and contemplating my next Netflix movie choice…


Or… OLD, OLD, OLD! 😐

Oh, well… I’m okay with it. I have to work tomorrow so it’s all good to me.

Speaking of which… I work in a government backed financial industry… like every bank in America and every government office is closed tomorrow, but I am working. WTF?! 😯

I don’t have any super duper New Year’s resolutions… My current plan is just to focus on ME this year. I have taken a couple of years off from doing that. I look like shit. I feel like shit. I need to get off my fat ass and DOOOO something about it. (As Nate would say… 😉 )

2014 Plan

Quit eating like there is no tomorrow.
Seriously… I’m so over food. Nothing tastes good anymore. Since I quit smoking entirely, they say your taste buds come alive… well, I think I killed mine off as nothing is particularly satisfying… it’s all just “meh” so now is a great time to quit stuffing my face.

Put make up on every day. It’s amazing how much of a difference this makes in a woman’s life. I need to do it again. I have started just making sure I have eye liner on… baby steps, people… baby steps! 😉

Simplify my finances. Since my employer has all but said they would be laying us all off in 2014, I need to get my finances in order to prepare for upcoming apocalyptic fall from grace. I have pretty much resigned myself to knowing that I cannot control the employment gods. I only have control of me… so I need to pay off anyone who I actually love or like while I have money and a job. Once the job goes, it’s going to be a blood bath. 😆

Appreciate others. This is a continuation of my resolution from 2013. It went well but I got a little to caught up in my own pity party to focus well on it. I plan to stick a shitload of thank you note cards in my purse to try to give me more incentive to appreciate people on the fly… I am pretty sure that almost every person who is generous these days is not recognized for it and they deserve recognition. I know that when people do that for me it makes me feel special and I want to make others feel the same way.

Completely quit nicotine. ONCE AND FOR ALL! So, I kinda quit smoking in 2011/2012 when I had a baby and was breast feeding. I used to smoke 1 to 2 packs of cigarettes a day. I got down to one a day and then one every few days when i was breast feeding. Then, I slowly started smoking up to 3-4 a day. And THEN I spiralled out of control when my family home was trashed by renters and started smoking like a crazy woman again…


Anyway… I tried an electronic cigarette on Thanksgiving Day. Not bad. On my drive home, I stopped and bought a disposable e-cigarette that i nursed for 2-3 days. On Black Friday, I found a great deal on the V2 Cigarette Starter Kit (comment if you want the discount code!) and that started my journey. I have not had a regular cigarette since December 6th.

E-cigarettes have nicotine in them but you have control over the amount. So I do still get nicotine regularly. However, I plan to wean down to 0% nicotine by the end of the year. Possibly sooner… I can’t even stand the taste of the tobacco flavors anymore and I am having a hard time finding the perfect flavor to vape/smoke daily so it could be sooner, I guess. We’ll see how it goes.

Smoking was a good, loyal friend for so, so many years and what made it so hard to quit was the routine of it all. I still smoke/vape when I take out the dog to poop, and after I eat, and when someone is screaming at me on the phone… but now, it’s completely fragrance free water vapor. I love not smelling like smoke anymore! 🙂


So those are my plans for the new year. 2013 kind of sucked donkey balls. I am not expecting 2014 to be much better. But, all I can do is do me better than I did me last year, so that’s the plan, Stan!

I hope everyone had an awesome Christmas with their family and friends! I wish nothing but the best for every single one of you in 2014!



I just realized that I did not post update pictures! 😯

So I have finally finished the house. My grand total to fix everything is somewhere between $4,000 – $5,000. What a nightmare! And I totally wasted my entire summer on this shit! Anyway, here are the results!









…so said Nate…

I’m here! I’m still alive! I did not get hit by a bus… But I sure feel like it.

So, as you all know, my beloved home was completely trashed by my former renters. I have spent every second of free time fixing that place up. Like, literally. Every. Second.

My poor husband hasn’t seen me in two months. I’d probably feel more bad about that if he was handier. 😆 Alas, he is not… But he does wash a mean load of laundry… And he is the most awesome father to my little one… So if he can’t hammer a nail, I’m okay with that…

(Plus… Have you ever seen my husband? Super hot… Just sayin’…)

So THAT is where the EFF I have been. Covered in paint, caulk, spider webs, and dirt. Fun times.

Despite the sarcasm, it actually has been a very emotionally trying time in my life. And I feel almost like when I went through my divorce. I feel like I’ve really learned some life changing lessons and I’m a little bit wiser now. I am a different person than I was two months ago as a result.

The number one lesson I have learned so far is that people are EXACTLY who they appear to be. Making excuses for other people’s shitty behavior or telling yourself someone didn’t mean to be a shitty person is wrong. You are wrong. When people show you that they suck, they suck. Period.

Lesson two: I’m not Jesus. I’m all for the Golden Rule… But I believe that there is somewhere in the Bible where it says that even if someone treats you badly time and time again you should still continue to treat them well. Yeah. I can’t do that.

Look, if you are my friend, I expect nothing more from you than I would do for you. And I can usually forgive an occasional fuck up. But… When I am having a break down and unable to pull myself up, I need your friendship more than ever. Like really. Ever. Like, come help me for two damn seconds! I fucking need you!

I would never abandon a friend who is going through a crisis. I may not be very helpful… But I would never abandon you. Period. And I was abandoned.

Someone told me they would help me. They couldn’t do it as scheduled. Rescheduled. Then just completely blew me off… No phone call, no text, no nothing… Then I did the whole benefit of a doubt thing and messaged this person to see if maybe we could touch bases and just forget all that mess and she said she was busy and never spoke to me again.

I’m sure she just thinks I was trying to take advantage of her and only wanted to use her for the help I needed. But, you know what? You can’t “use” real friends. Real friends recognize when you need help and give what they can. They don’t just disappear.

I would never disappear. If you ask me for help, I will help you. If I promise you that I will help you, I will be there to do it. If you are having a complete break down and acting like a crazy lunatic bitch, I will be there to slap the silly out of you and provide you with some emotional support and help build your ass back up.

That’s me. I learned it is not what other people do. And, to be honest, I am at a point in my life where I just don’t want to be “friends” with people like that. Someone who is my friend won’t do that… Just as I would never do that to them.

Third lesson was actually a very pleasant surprise: There are still absolutely good people in this world. For example, when I first started this challenge, I was freaking the hell out. Out of the blue, I received a message from an acquaintance of mine that offered to come help me clean up. This person didn’t have to offer her help… On her only day off… To someone she barely knew… But she did. And I don’t think I will ever forget it.

I’ve still been somewhat fighting with my dad and he’s caught up in his own little world. My kids have been pretty good about helping but they both have jobs and live out of town so they had limited time… And now they are sick of helping me. We already established that my husband is not handy in any way. So I have been doing everything completely and utterly alone.

It has been very depressing and lonely and devastating to me personally. But… I have had two people come to my rescue who have helped me and my emotional well being more than they will ever know… My husbands uncle and one of my ex-husbands best friends…

My husbands uncle helped advise me and showed me how to do new things without burning my house down. He even did some of the work for me when I really got in over my head. The new skills he taught me were an amazing gift to me and actually spurred my soul to claw its way slowly from the depths of hell I was wallowing in.

When my ex-husbands best friend contacted me on Facebook, I was really just starting to breakdown again after dealing with a bunch of unreliable contractors. I had been spending ALOT of time alone at the house and just generally feeling sorry for myself and pathetic.

I basically called this guy and BEGGED him to come spend a day with me. So pathetic. 😆 I didn’t even care if he did anything. I just needed some company! Well, he walked in and took over! And I am so completely thankful! I’m tearing up just thinking about it… Such a sap… Or hot mess. Whatever.

When he came in the second weekend, I was sitting on the edge of my tub getting ready to freak out internally. He just walks in, says “are you OK?”, sees I’m not, and tells me to get out. He will take care if it. Then he completely demolished my bathroom floor. 😆

And when I was contemplating having to call my 5th plumber to find an elusive clog, he is the one who said he didn’t want me to spend the money and spent an entire day covered in black sludge finding and clearing a clog that a high priced plumber with fancy equipment could not find.

He saved my ass on that one but I think my best compliment for him is that he gives me balls to take on any project. I am so much more confident with him helping me. I cannot thank him and his extremely patient fiance enough. He is truly a great person and they are the type of people I want to have as friends.

Thanks to him, I am almost done with the house entirely! And yes, I will definitely share pictures when its done because I am super proud of all the work me, my children, my husbands uncle, and my ex-husbands best friend 😆 have done. I love my house again and these people loved me enough to make it happen.

It has been very trying, very emotional, and super duper stressful. But now I am glad it happened. It showed me the truth about some people in my life and it still gave me hope and positivity for the new people brought into my life. I wouldn’t wish the journey on anyone else, though. 😉

So, new pictures soon and I will also be updating my daddy drama and I have good news on my kids’ front… Lots of changes and growth going on… But its like 2am… So ttyl!


Sooooo…. It’s like almost noon… And not one person has said Happy Mother’s Day to me yet. And I’ve been up since 6am.

W.T.F. 😯

I’m sure I’ll come back later to bitch some more. Right now, I am going to waste my day being depressed and wallowing in self-pity.

Carry on, all you people with moms and appreciative families… 😦

I used to be really good about blogging regularly and now my mind is all ***BLAHHH***


I can never seem to remember to post. I think of things to write about all the time but I am so overwhelmed with work now that my mind is a hot mess by the time I clock out for the day. I will cherish the day when I can retire…

Yeah. I said that.

I always thought I would be one of those people who would work until my dying day but my job is so high stress now. I can’t imagine anything more grating than having to work under this extreme pressure for the rest of my damn life. It’s sad really because I used to love this job. And I guess I still do… if I wasn’t being pressured to do the impossible all the time and actually given a pat on the back in a genuine way once in a while… 😐

So what have I been UP TO??? (Nate asked…)

Well, I got the flu right before Easter. Everyone in our house had it and it wiped me out for 3 days. It sucked. But I lost 4 pounds. Which I promptly gained back due to bloat. Yay me.

I did end up losing 10 pounds in the month of March. I know I should be happy with that, but I’m not. I hate dieting right now. If my husband genuinely liked fat chicks and they made clothes that looked better on my fat ass, I would give it up this second just to be able to eat a massive plate of beef stroganoff right now.


It’s just so unfair that I can’t eat things I actually like and are comforting to me. Why can’t beef stroganoff only be 200 calories for a large platter of it? Dammit! And why does hot buttered popcorn have to be a gazillion calories? WHY?


I am just way too anxious right now to get the weight off and 10 pounds a month seems so S-L-O-W. Back when I was actually commited, my goal was slow and steady wins the race. Thirty pounds a year was my only goal. Maybe that’s my problem. I am too overly anxious to hit my 30 this time around because I actually want to be even less than that.

I have all this “stuff” coming up… my birthday… summer… 4th of July… swimming. I can’t go out looking like I do now. I look horrible right now. The pregnancy really did a number on my shape. I’ve always been a curvy girl but now I am just a fat ass boy. Ick. So not happy about that. *sigh*

Ugh. I know. I’m just whining and being a pussy about this. 🙄

I’ve really been missing Petey lately. I’ve been watching old episodes of the Dog Whisperer on Netflix. Thank God there are only 12 available. My husband does have a dog, Kiana, but she has always hated me. She is a really jealous bitch (literally) and is not affectionate in any way whatsoever.


I thought of maybe calling the people who adopted Petey to see how he’s doing but I have decided against it. I’m afraid that they will tell me that he ran away and they couldn’t find him or that they took him to the pound. I hope that hasn’t happened but I have decided that maybe it’s better if I don’t know. I would be devastated to find that out, especially since I fretted so much and spent so much time finding him a proper place where he could find a new loving home. I would feel awful if he didn’t end up being loved immensely for the rest of his life.

Because of my work hours and Andy’s schedule, I spend alot of time alone and having a dog to cuddle with and be my companion would really be helpful. Kiana ignores me most of the time, and when she isn’t ignoring me, she is generally disobeying me or trying to get my food. Andy isn’t big on lap dogs so she certainly is not one of those types to begin with.


If I ever get another dog, I would love to have a smaller type dog. Not teeny but not really big either. Petey wasn’t always the most well behaved guy but I always knew that I could pick his ass up right up out of any situation and lay him down with just my hands. I could not do that with a larger dog.

Andy’s dog attacked the little ankle biter across the street a couple of days ago. If that had happened on my watch, I would not have been able to get her back under my control. Small dogs are controllable. Maybe that’s just me bullshitting myself. 😆

Oh… I wanted to thank BRENDA for notifying me that I am an extreme dumbass by finding the large size straps for my Bodyfit thingamajig. I bought one immediately after she sent the link. I got it in a few days… it immediately broke. 😦 I emailed Bodymedia and they promptly sent a new one out and didn’t make me send the old one back. THAT is good customer service right there…

One of my New Year’s Resolutions was that I was going to start making sure that people who gave good customer service were praised with a formal thank you card sent. People don’t do those things anymore. We are so accustomed to doing everything online or by phone. How many of you have been asked to take a survey at the end of a call and hang up before you actually get stuck doing it?

Well, I know first hand that those surveys actually help employees who deserve it… and personal comments are greatly appreciated and help those employees stand out with their employers. In todays world, I imagine there are all sorts of people who have really shitty jobs talking to people on the phone all day. The people they speak with are usually calling them with some type of problem. They are upset and frustrated and screaming and yelling… not what the representative probably wanted to hear but hey, it’s a job, right?


I decided that I would try to start recognizing people for that. Because it’s a shitty world out there. People are being shit on and people are taking shit out on people they shouldn’t. When someone is providing me with great customer service, I fully have committed to making sure I commend that person and I hope to do it in a way where that employee will get some recognition from their employer.

I should also say this: if you provide horrible customer service, you just might be hearing from me on that as well… because you know what? There are 100 people out there who have been unemployed for more than a year who would love and appreciate having the position you don’t even act like you want to have… So you’d better watch out for me. 😉


Random thought: This is how busy I have been… I received my one Netflix movie 6 weeks ago. I haven’t watched it yet. 😐 Why am I paying for this? Grrr!


Quickie Product Review: The MISTO. Anyone have this contraption? I have no idea why I bought it. They sell Pam with Olive Oil now… why do I need the MISTO? Anyway, I was at Bed, bath, and Beyond and felt compelled to buy it as I sat looking at it while sitting around waiting for a friend to finish shopping. I get it home and it’s broke right out of the box. And the freaking BB&B store is 75 miles away! GAH! I hate that! Anyway, just so you know… now that I do have it out of the box, even if it did work, I’m thinking “totally useless”.


Okay, well, I have so much more to completely ramble on about, but now, it’s ONE FREAKING A.M. and I need to try to get some sleep before my kid wakes up at 3am… because that’s how he’s rolling these days. 🙄



Okay beeotches… I get it! I’m getting off my fat ass and will start gettin’ shit done!

Right after this weekend…. 😉

Love you all! Muah!!!