Posts Tagged ‘insomnia’

I know I have been MIA. I have been so frustrated with this stall I am in and just really didn’t know what to say. I was hoping I could break it and be all like, “Look at how fucking smart I am!”

its-funny-cuz-u-is-stupid

But I’m not smart, apparently. Because I am still stalled.

UGH!!!!!

I am not perfect by far. But I am determined. Every time I do low carb, I get stalled at around 40 pounds. I get frustrated and pissed off and abandon the plan for low calorie/high carb. I’m not doing that this time. Mostly because I’m stubborn and now I feel like I have a vendetta against my rebellious body.

fuckit

So, I have just been trudging on. And not losing.

Here’s the things I think are holding me back:

1. Not enough sleep
2. Fucking PEANUT BUTTER!
3. Fucking POPCORN!
4. Too much snacking
5. Using net carbs

One of the battles I seem to be having lately is insomnia. Is this a side effect of menopause? Someone tell me now! It’s killing me. Last week, I spent one night laying wide awake in bed until 4:45am and then my kid woke up at 8am. This is not conducive to weight loss. GRRRR!

tired

Lately, I have been craving sweets. This is not me. I am not a sweet eater. I got fat eating onion rings, french fries, fried chicken, pasta, risotto, enchiladas, and tacos. But my one sweet spot in my heart is reserved for chocolate peanut butter ice cream. So I can’t have that low carb ice cream around because I could eat a quart in a week easily and it has ALOT of sugar alcohols. So I came up with a brilliant idea to use one tablespoon of sugar free chocolate chips mixed in with all natural peanut butter.

Now, overall, this is low carb… but not when you eat 4 tablespoons of peanut butter with it. Because 4 tablespoons is like 11 grams of carbs! That’s half of my carb allowance in general for the day! WTF? And I keep doing it! Someone stop me!

gluttony

No… REALLY… SOMEONE STOP ME!

The ONE thing that I miss on low carb more than anything in the whole wide world is bad, bad GMO popcorn with lots of real butter. And I can’t eat just a cup or two. I need to eat the whole damn bowl!

My husband and I watch and go to movies all the time. It’s like our thing. And movie theaters do not sell ANYTHING low carb. Jerky and pork rinds are NOT theater food. So shut your face if that’s your solution…

popcorn

In general, I do fine all day until I get off work. After I get my kid to bed, I am starving… I eat something… and then another something… and then some peanut butter… and then another something… GAH!

When I did low calorie/high carb, this was something I could work around. However, most of the items on low carb are high calorie or high protein. So I am constantly fucking my whole macro plan up! It’s so frustrating because I *know* what I am doing AS I am doing it!

I usually talk myself into snacking by making sure it’s low carb. But if it’s low carb, it’s usually high protein! Which just turns into glucose anyway! FML!

sabotage

For example, just now, I went and grabbed a chicken leg from the frig… I’m already at 80g of protein for the day! I didn’t need to eat the fucking chicken leg!

So this is how I am currently spiraling out of control. I do have a plan to stop it.

To Be Continued…

 

Not as good as I hoped but still met my modest goal:

27.4 POUNDS GONE!

That is 5 pounds for the month, but get this… 8 inches overall gone in one month! So that’s positive right? I wish it was all in my waistline, but the majority of it was between my neck and my thighs so it all works out eventually, I guess. 🙂

I haven’t really been exercising much but I am starting to walk a bit. And we are getting ready to remodel the living room, so I hope that will burn off some fat. Of course, last year, I redid my entire rental property almost entirely alone until the end and I didn’t lose a damn thing! :/ Since this remodel is more for pleasure than necessity, I am hoping the weight loss will come with it.

Stress continues to make me appear pregnant. I am really having a hard time getting 8 hours of sleep in. In fact, I have not once gotten 8 hours in. I usually log 4-5 hours tops. Once in a blue moon, I will hit 6-7 hours. I have read that this is a major factor in belly weight. I really need to figure out how to make myself sleep longer!

I have tried melatonin 10mg and it really did nothing for me. I am scared to try anything stronger because I need to wake up and be alert pretty quickly. My husband occasionally takes sleep aids to catch up on sleep (he’s a third shifter) and he told me that it often takes him much longer to fully wake up after taking those.

I hear conflicting reports about exercising before bed. Most people say that energizes them and wakes them up. When I have exercised in the past, I am usually dead ass tired after. I thought maybe doing my walks (which I could turn into turtle paced jogs eventually) before bed may exhaust me to the point of being able to fall asleep right away and stay asleep.

I do think I have sleep apnea. However, my deductible on my health insurance is $1000. I don’t have that. So a medically supervised sleep study is absolutely not within reach right now. 😦

So, yeah… that’s about where I am at right now. Nothing exciting to report.

Some people have sent me comments requesting me to regularly post meal plans. I am kind of an irregular type of person so I don’t know about doing it “regularly” but I will try to remember to do it when I post a new menu on my frig. Here’s my current one:

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Sorry it’s such a horrible picture… I took it with my cell phone. But you get the idea. I have a few “emergency” snacks, which I use VERY sparingly. For example, the Russell Stover Toffee Squares I have maybe one or two squares a week. A full serving is 3. I eat 1/4 C. of pecans maybe once every 2 weeks, if that. I haven’t even had one of the Atkins shakes yet but they are in my frig and have been for a month now. The quesadillas will be limited because the tortilla has 9 gross and 4 net carbs… I am just trying to find a way to get rid of the package at this point…

I have had a lot of traffic on the blog lately so I have had a lot of newcomers ask why their comments don’t show up on my posts. I am pretty active in a couple of online communities and have a mirror post in one of those communities. I don’t spend an enormous amount of time online like I used to. Going through every comment was very tedious at one point. And some of my online friends are high maintenance (cough *nate* cough) so they like to comment. Alot.

All of that to just say… I’m fucking lazy. There it is, folks. I don’t approve posts because I am lazy. But I will try to stop being lazy. I tell you what… I will approve posts that I think are good and relevant (most of you newcomers are fine!). If they are comments touting your new and improved diet plan, your comment is OUT! If you are an EPer and you already made the comment on the mirror blog, I will not reapprove it here… If you are just being a pest and using excessive exclamation points and capital letters (cough *nate* cough), then I will NEVER approve your comment. Period. Because you are annoying. I love you but you’re annoying.

Also, I post about my personal internal struggles here, and people relate to that alot and send me comments detailing their own personal struggles. I probably won’t approve those comments. It’s not that I don’t love hearing from you, because I do. Please do NOT stop doing that! But, I really feel that there are many who give me a very intimate piece of their lives sometimes and I don’t know if you really want that on blast here. If you don’t care, tell me that and I’ll approve it, but otherwise, it will remain between you and me. Pinky promise! 😉

I’ll end my post with a recipe. I have sausage gravy and english muffins on my list above. I love sausage gravy and biscuits! I mean, really… who doesn’t? I’m not real trusting of all those almond flour biscuit recipes because there’s like a shit ton of almonds in one cup of almond flour. So I finally found an acceptable substitute using coconut flour in a Muffin-in-a-minute recipe modified from the recipe by Stacey at beautyandthefoodie.com. Here’s my version:

EngMuff3

Engmuff4
Instructions: Basically, dump it all in a PAM sprayed coffee mug (I just used a standard size mug) and nuke in the microwave for 1 minute. Mine turns out perfect but you may need to adjust the time depending on the power of your microwave. When it’s done, turn the mug upside down on a plate and it usually just slides right on out. I usually let it cool a bit that way. Then, cut in half and pan fry on each side. Perfecto!

My version is not nearly as sweet as other versions. I wanted a more savory muffin. And, although it looks eggy, it did not taste eggy. So don’t be scared! It tastes good! It’s not a real english muffin. It’s more dense. But it was perfect for this recipe. And only 2 NET CARBS!

Now, for the gravy:

sausagegravy1
Instructions:
Brown your crumbled up pork sausage in a regular old skillet over medium to medium high heat. Drain off all but 2 teaspoons of sausage grease (you’ll have to eyeball this, I guess). Once browned, sprinkle in the coconut flour and stir well to coat all the sausage pieces and soaf up some of the grease. Add the 1/2 cup of water and the dash or two of Worcestershire Sauce. Now add the 1/2 cup of heavy whipping cream (that’s what 8 tablespoons is…). Heat over medium heat well. Once heated through, sprinkle the Xanthan Gum in 1/4 teaspoon at a time (I ended up using a full teaspoon) until thickened. It will take a minute or two for it to thicken up. I like mine pretty thick. If it gets too thick for you, just add a little water to thin it out a bit. Stir it up well so the fats don’t separate. Load 1/2 of the pan contents onto the awesome 2 slices of pan toasted muffin. Only 3 NET CARBS! MMM HMMMM!

sausagegravy3

So seriously awesome!

Disclosure: This is a high fat, high calorie meal at 701 calories and 63 grams of fat. However, it is what I would consider moderate protein depending on the sausage you use (17 grams total protein) and only 5 NET CARBS! Winner, winner, sausage gravy and biscuit dinner!

PEACE!!!